Not sure what to call this? Goodbye? Update?

nvts

Active Member
Mog - I haven't been writing much these days. I'm totally off my game. The difficult child's are ok, but the marriage hasn't been all that great.

I know what you mean about handing it off to God. Have you ever read the verse "Footprints"? Read through this - it'll bolster your faith and allow you to trust again. Listen: all of us feel like failures sometimes, and we all know that you've done the best you can for all of them, biological and steps. Stop beating yourself up - you deserve better than this. No need to feel lonely - PM some of us if you just need to talk. Heck - I didn't know you were in Albequerque - my brother lives out there! It's a beautiful place to live! Hope this finds you in better spirits!

Beth
Footprints

One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
"I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
"When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."




 

everywoman

Well-Known Member
Mog---When things were at the worse with difficult child, I went into total seclusion. Well, it wasn't just difficult child, it was husband, and everything else in my life, except my job. I worked all the time. And when I wasn't working, I was sleeping. I disconnected from everyone in my life. I hid from the world. I felt like I was the worst wife/mother ever made. Then I picked myself up by the bootstraps and started rebuilding my life. This summer I started a facebook account. I have reconnected with a lot of old friends. They all know about the trouble with difficult child and husband and still like me anyway. I am going out. I am having people over. I am socializing again. It has done me a world of good. Please reach out to someone, anyone and try to get some help. Hugs. I understand the pain of feeling all alone.
 

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
mog,

wm is/has been in a foster group home for going on 5 years now. At that time, husband & I were once again taken to our knees & cried very bitter tears.

Having said that, wm is where he is because his actions, not ours, his actions put us at risk. We had to separate our feelings we didn't push wm to those actions, to make those choices, from the feeling that we had failed as parents.

This is the time to do what YOU need to do to heal. This month is your time to heal, find some sort of hobby, joy in something rather than feeling buried in the negatives & chaos our difficult children bring into our homes.

Take care & (((((hugs)))). Be gentle with yourself.


 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
Aw, Mog, what a lot you've been through.
It does sound like foster care is a good thing right now, no matter how much it hurts. You're experiencing a very common reaction--intellectually you know it will help (more than juvie, for sure) and emotionally, it's tearing you apart.
What about, for you, going to a Christian counselor? There are a lot of them out there. You need something for yourself.
I hope that you come back and read the responses. We're here.
 
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