Not Sure What To Do Next!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by all alone, Feb 24, 2008.

  1. all alone

    all alone New Member

    I am a single mother of 2 young children, 22 months apart.
    my oldest being nearly 7 and my youngest 6.
    My son (7) was diagnosed with ODD borderline CD at the age of 5.

    Wahoo I guess thats part of this forum....

    Well recently he was excluded from school and at the moment there is no sign of him getting back in before middle of the year.
    This will be his 4 school since he turned 5.
    His sister is terrified of him, the local child agency (docs/cyfs) dont want anything to do with him as they believe that because he is only 6 nearly 7 any mother can handle them at that age. We have a child psychiatric involved with us as a family unit and seperately.

    For the past 2 years I have been fighting him non stop and it came to a point where i decided that for awhile the best situation for us all was for him to live with my sister.

    I dont like this arrangement at all but I cant see any way around it.

    I have no one to talk to about this that have or are in the same or similiar situation, the ones i do speak to just sit there and nod their heads as if I am crazy.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Hi- and welcome! You might want to post a thread on the General, and maybe the Special Education, forums.

    It doesn't sound quite right for someone to say a child that young has CD. Who diagnosis'd this? Don't get me wrong- all of us here have kids who have behavior that is sometimes difficult for us to deal with- but that isn't necessarily a CD diagnosis.

    I would suggest posting a thread on the General forum and telling us a little more about yourself and your child's situation so more people can give you a warm welcome and support for what you're going through.

    Hang in there! Not too much would shock us here!
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Hi and welcome. You're not alone anymore. I'm going to move this thread to our General forum so you'll get pertinent responses. Please look there. :)
  4. all alone

    all alone New Member

    Re : feelinalone.

    Yes all his school movements have been because of his behaviour. We have had a teachers aide at the last school with him and while for 6 months he done exceptionally well when his sister started there no one expected him to freak out as he was in the lead up to her strating very agreeable to her going there with him.

    As for his diagnosis he was diagnosed in Australia 2x with Oppositional Defiant Disorder border Conduct.
    All these labels and I still not really sure what the hell they mean, it just seems that he has this long as label and i have looked and asked nearly every question that i know of including all the stupid ones.

    Now for the details of the behaviour we have gone through:

    I have had a fire that nearly destroyed his room, he had no remorse at all even when he lost all his toys and posters.
    I haev spent over 2500 on replacing windows and locks.
    I have had to pay for my neighbours car to be repainted as he didnt like it so he scratched it up with god only knows what.
    He beats up his sister repeatedly to the point where when he lived with me she didnt leave my side and would scream when he came near her.
    He has aggressively attacked a few of our friends that to come round to visit now which isnt many anymore.
    I tried the diet thing but I couldnt stick to it so that was my fault.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Welcome to the board.

    I'm glad you found us. And you'll never feel alone again.:redface: My, you do have your hands full!

    Does your son have an IEP at school? Don't know if that's what they call it down there. It's an Individual Education Program designed specifically to meet your child's needs.

    Has he ever been evaled by a neuropsychologist? They look for far more than many psychiatrists evaluate for. So could be a big help in case something could've been overlooked. (especially with his age of diagnosis)

    You might want to read the book The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. Many parents here have found it very helpful.

    For the record, we won't look at you like you're crazy. lol Most of us have been there done that in one form or another.

    More members will be along. Weekends are sort of slow around here.

  6. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    You're definately not alone with this crowd!

    I agree that a full neuropsyche would be the best avenue to take. You can usually get them done at a Teaching or Children's Hospital. Here in the states, it's called a neuropsychologist, I'm not sure what they call it in New Zealand. Basically, it's a battery of tests that takes hours and hours.

    We cannot diagnose on the board as we're not doctors but his issues could be a mix of a bunch of stuff.

    Personnal opinion: he needs to be evaluated. This way you'll be able to make informed choices regarding school, medications or not, therapy etc. He's probably a really smart child with issues!

    Don't feel alone, we've pretty much seen it all on the board!


  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Sign me up for the neuropsychologist. A CD diagnosis for a five year old is beyond ridiculous. A neuropsychologist does all sorts of intensive testing. My son had twelve hours of it. I seriously doubt a competent professional would give you that diagnosis. There are bad apples everywhere. ODD rarely stands alone so it's worth the trouble of getting a neuropsychologist evaluation. You can find NeuroPsychs at university hospitals and children's hospitals here in the States. Second best is a Child Psychiatrist (with the MD), but they don't do the types of evaluating that NeuroPsychs do and I personally have had a worse time with Psychiatrists than NeuroPsychs. Since I have bipolar and my son has high functioning autism, I've had lots of experience with different professionals and wrong diagnosis. and I do recommend NeuroPsychs first. I wish you tons of luck with your little guy. There is help...and hope. And, of course, we're always here for you to "talk" to.
  8. all alone

    all alone New Member

    ok now i have never heard of a neuropsychologist thing here but i will definitely inquire about that.
    Yes he did have an Individual Educ. Programme.
    He was given a t/aide for the whole day at school per day and this did dramatically help, he went from one hour to half days to full days which benefited us both.
    He was diagnosed in Australia and then again here in New Zealand.
    He is also a very bright boy when he can stay calm enough to stop and think about what he is doing.

    As for staying at my sisters his behaviour has slightly improved he hasnt destroyed any of her stuff (yet), unfortunately I dont have much faith in the doctors or the agencies that are around as the doctors gives us more medication (which he currently has 75mgs Clonidine 2x a day) saying its a matter of trial and error ok i can believe this cause not every medication will work, and then hte agencys tell me to just handle him.

    The last time i took him into a govt agency he went off and destroyed one of their comps but they just said thats normal.
    I am in full time study myself at the moment to be a mechanic and he often get the parts of my cars that we cant be bothered fixing and a few tools this he will spend hours doing