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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 330900" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>It sounds as though you are "talking about it" (airing grievances) but not coming up with a plan. (He orders the kids to do work.)</p><p></p><p>I agree that the kids should do some things, but it should be a pre-arranged set of things for everyone. Not to say my marriage is perfect. husband does the dishes after dinner. And when I say that, I mean that's <em>all </em>he does. Doesn't clear the table, doesn't wipe the counter tops. Doesn't put anything away. Doesn't recycle or do trash. It's been this way for 24 years. I have hissy fits and he doesn't change. In the long run, we agreed that I get to tell him what to do when I need help (being disabled gives me a freebie a lot), and he doesn't get to think it means that I hate him. It just means that I mean help.</p><p></p><p>I hope that you will consider talking again, with an agenda to come up with a plan.It's incumbent upon you to make changes to old patterns just as it is incumbent upon him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 330900, member: 99"] It sounds as though you are "talking about it" (airing grievances) but not coming up with a plan. (He orders the kids to do work.) I agree that the kids should do some things, but it should be a pre-arranged set of things for everyone. Not to say my marriage is perfect. husband does the dishes after dinner. And when I say that, I mean that's [I]all [/I]he does. Doesn't clear the table, doesn't wipe the counter tops. Doesn't put anything away. Doesn't recycle or do trash. It's been this way for 24 years. I have hissy fits and he doesn't change. In the long run, we agreed that I get to tell him what to do when I need help (being disabled gives me a freebie a lot), and he doesn't get to think it means that I hate him. It just means that I mean help. I hope that you will consider talking again, with an agenda to come up with a plan.It's incumbent upon you to make changes to old patterns just as it is incumbent upon him. [/QUOTE]
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