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Not sure what to do with this list that I found.
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 331195" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>In a nutshell, that is "the list"....and I had lost sight of it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>Again, "the list". </p><p> </p><p>And this is what is missing. </p><p> </p><p>When wee was a tot, I'd put him to bed and go to the living room and pick up the toys. husband would automagically just get up and help. I'd bring in a basket of laundry and he'd jump in and fold something (he'd usually stiack with things like socks and underwear or towels, but the point is, he'd <em>do</em> it.) That's why I married him. We worked together and we played together.</p><p> </p><p>Now? Unless I'm at something (a single something, not a cumulative something) for an hour or longer, there's very little hope of him contributing. And unless someone else is a party to the playing, he doesn't do that, either. And that's what's making me so flipping angry.</p><p> </p><p>He called me the other day, angry because I obviously hadn't paid the gas bill. We don't even <em>have</em> a gas bill (combined utility provider and bill), but he was mad about it.</p><p> </p><p>The pilot went out on the heater and the electric igniter wasn't working to relight it. Very obviously was getting gas to it...you could smell that. Had to take the cover off and manually light it with a match.</p><p> </p><p>Not a big deal.</p><p> </p><p>Except when you're the one being yelled at for it, you rush home early to fix it, and he could just as easily have solved the problem. If his parents would have called with the same problem, he'd have fixed it.</p><p> </p><p>And you're right. Its not about husband, its about me. And I'm settling. Again.</p><p> </p><p>The thing is, we didn't used to be like this. husband was never one to carry the majority of the load, but it at least wasn't this skewed. And I don't know how to get back to that "team effort". Or if its even possible.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 331195, member: 1848"] In a nutshell, that is "the list"....and I had lost sight of it. Again, "the list". And this is what is missing. When wee was a tot, I'd put him to bed and go to the living room and pick up the toys. husband would automagically just get up and help. I'd bring in a basket of laundry and he'd jump in and fold something (he'd usually stiack with things like socks and underwear or towels, but the point is, he'd [I]do[/I] it.) That's why I married him. We worked together and we played together. Now? Unless I'm at something (a single something, not a cumulative something) for an hour or longer, there's very little hope of him contributing. And unless someone else is a party to the playing, he doesn't do that, either. And that's what's making me so flipping angry. He called me the other day, angry because I obviously hadn't paid the gas bill. We don't even [I]have[/I] a gas bill (combined utility provider and bill), but he was mad about it. The pilot went out on the heater and the electric igniter wasn't working to relight it. Very obviously was getting gas to it...you could smell that. Had to take the cover off and manually light it with a match. Not a big deal. Except when you're the one being yelled at for it, you rush home early to fix it, and he could just as easily have solved the problem. If his parents would have called with the same problem, he'd have fixed it. And you're right. Its not about husband, its about me. And I'm settling. Again. The thing is, we didn't used to be like this. husband was never one to carry the majority of the load, but it at least wasn't this skewed. And I don't know how to get back to that "team effort". Or if its even possible. [/QUOTE]
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