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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 532255" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Yes, kids like them having a baby is a scary thought. And no birth control is 100 % even with meticulous use and much less so in the hands of difficult children. And I'm in no way saying you should accommodate your son having sex by e.g. allowing him to spend a night with the girlfriend under your roof. I just wanted to point out that you may want to consider how much you want to waste your ammo to this matter because it is the one parents usually loose. </p><p></p><p>But after I had wrote that message to this thread, I read your post in the other thread, where you told more about your worries concerning your son and sex. And after reading that I felt there was some warning signs of behavioural addiction. I don't have experience of sex being that addiction, but in your post there was something very familiar to me when thinking of my difficult child's gambling issues. All addictions have a lot common and behavioural addictions have even more and something in your post really felt familiar. It is very typical teen to think a sex a lot, be very curious about it. I wouldn't for example worry much about one or two time thing there a kid pretends to be something different than they are and have online sex or something like that, I would just think it is curiosity and quite normal. I for example have a easy child niece who writes fanfiction (her own stories using characters from TV, movies or books) and draws manga. And a lot of it is homoerotic stuff featuring two males. I'm sure she has not shown me the rowdier stuff, so what I have seen has been rather romantic and not explicit, but I do know girls (it is mostly written by girls) do write much more explicit stuff also. That kind of things I see as totally normal curiosity. Same goes with porn. It is not nice and we certainly have talked a lot with our sons about how narrow and untrue view porn is to human sexuality. How watching too much of it they will just take an excitement away from their real sex lives when they will start it, because real sex is something totally different and if they try to mirror porn, they will be disappointed and also loose a lot of fun of real sex. But teens being interested about porn is also something very, very normal and common. I do know for sure my sons watch porn occasionally, and indeed when he was given an assignment to analyse Charles Baudelaire's poetry, my difficult child decided to 'be funny' and wrote an five page essay to his lit class arguing how Baudelaire's poetry and porn were basically the same thing and to prove his point he used lots of comparisons that made it clear he is very familiar with all your standard porn clichés (and that he had also read the poems.) He was around your son's age at the time.</p><p></p><p>But same way like many other normal and common things, sex and porn can turn to addictions and devastate a person with the addiction and people around them. And while I can't pinpoint a certain one thing in your post that made me worried about your son maybe being in the process of developing addiction, there was something in the whole that made me feel alarmed. I may be totally wrong, but that is how I felt while reading your post in the other thread.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 532255, member: 14557"] Yes, kids like them having a baby is a scary thought. And no birth control is 100 % even with meticulous use and much less so in the hands of difficult children. And I'm in no way saying you should accommodate your son having sex by e.g. allowing him to spend a night with the girlfriend under your roof. I just wanted to point out that you may want to consider how much you want to waste your ammo to this matter because it is the one parents usually loose. But after I had wrote that message to this thread, I read your post in the other thread, where you told more about your worries concerning your son and sex. And after reading that I felt there was some warning signs of behavioural addiction. I don't have experience of sex being that addiction, but in your post there was something very familiar to me when thinking of my difficult child's gambling issues. All addictions have a lot common and behavioural addictions have even more and something in your post really felt familiar. It is very typical teen to think a sex a lot, be very curious about it. I wouldn't for example worry much about one or two time thing there a kid pretends to be something different than they are and have online sex or something like that, I would just think it is curiosity and quite normal. I for example have a easy child niece who writes fanfiction (her own stories using characters from TV, movies or books) and draws manga. And a lot of it is homoerotic stuff featuring two males. I'm sure she has not shown me the rowdier stuff, so what I have seen has been rather romantic and not explicit, but I do know girls (it is mostly written by girls) do write much more explicit stuff also. That kind of things I see as totally normal curiosity. Same goes with porn. It is not nice and we certainly have talked a lot with our sons about how narrow and untrue view porn is to human sexuality. How watching too much of it they will just take an excitement away from their real sex lives when they will start it, because real sex is something totally different and if they try to mirror porn, they will be disappointed and also loose a lot of fun of real sex. But teens being interested about porn is also something very, very normal and common. I do know for sure my sons watch porn occasionally, and indeed when he was given an assignment to analyse Charles Baudelaire's poetry, my difficult child decided to 'be funny' and wrote an five page essay to his lit class arguing how Baudelaire's poetry and porn were basically the same thing and to prove his point he used lots of comparisons that made it clear he is very familiar with all your standard porn clichés (and that he had also read the poems.) He was around your son's age at the time. But same way like many other normal and common things, sex and porn can turn to addictions and devastate a person with the addiction and people around them. And while I can't pinpoint a certain one thing in your post that made me worried about your son maybe being in the process of developing addiction, there was something in the whole that made me feel alarmed. I may be totally wrong, but that is how I felt while reading your post in the other thread. [/QUOTE]
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