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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 682813" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>These feelings are so intense. let them wash through you as they come. I go through the same thing, sleepless nights, times when the feelings overcome me. It is what we go through to process all of this. Lord knows, in the thick of it with all of the chaos, there is NO time to really think on things and feel them. This is a time of intense work. It is hard, but necessary to get ourselves back. We moms focus on our kids and neglect ourselves. Especially so, when we have d cs.</p><p>Looking, do you have belief in a higher power? If so, prayer is really helpful. When I start awfullizing about my two, I say a quick prayer. I also use "mantras" like "They are out there finding their way, they will be okay." Or, just "BE OKAY".</p><p>When it was so intense after my two left six months ago, I looked up and said "God, this is too much for me to handle, I know you only loaned them to me for a short time, I did the best I could, they are yours again, please watch over them."</p><p> I am glad you can share with others. It is a good thing to hear people say that you are doing the right thing, and YOU ARE.</p><p> No, not sick to want an apology. Me too. I want one. It may not come ever. Well, that is on them, isn't it? You are right, action speaks louder than words, more than an apology, I would like to see my two making better decisions and living a better life. But, they have to want that for themselves.......</p><p></p><p> This is called awfullizing. We worry ourselves to the brink of ulcers on what could be happening to our kids. It is a terrible place to go. Try not to go there, I know it is oh so hard. The many times I have been there, my two are just having a wonderful time....doing their<em> thang</em>. </p><p>All that worrying for nothing. Does not help them, and is very destructive for us. You WILL make it, Looking. If not for you, focus on your 8 year old sweetie pie. Take this time to go through your feelings, then see the possibilities for your home to become a place of piece.</p><p></p><p>Here is another tool I use to stop the crazy awfullizing.......Viktor Frankl</p><p></p><p>"Viktor Emil Frankl was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist as well as a Holocaust survivor."</p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]fD1512_XJEw[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>So my dear, feel what you have to feel GET IT OUT. It is important to release all of the stuff built up inside. </p><p>When I find myself slipping, I listen to sad songs, to help process how I am feeling. I write it out, draw, pray. Sometimes I just need to sleep, to make up for all of those sleepless nights, or early morning jolts awake with thoughts of my two. Give yourself the time and breaks you need. You are a warrior mom, warriors </p><p>need R&R.</p><p></p><p>Then, when you are ready, work at finding your strength and rebuilding. Make use of the amazing mentors who walked this earth, Maya Angelou, Viktor Frankl, Ghandi....etc. look for inspiration in the people you admire. </p><p>You will be okay, Looking. We are all here rooting for you.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 682813, member: 19522"] These feelings are so intense. let them wash through you as they come. I go through the same thing, sleepless nights, times when the feelings overcome me. It is what we go through to process all of this. Lord knows, in the thick of it with all of the chaos, there is NO time to really think on things and feel them. This is a time of intense work. It is hard, but necessary to get ourselves back. We moms focus on our kids and neglect ourselves. Especially so, when we have d cs. Looking, do you have belief in a higher power? If so, prayer is really helpful. When I start awfullizing about my two, I say a quick prayer. I also use "mantras" like "They are out there finding their way, they will be okay." Or, just "BE OKAY". When it was so intense after my two left six months ago, I looked up and said "God, this is too much for me to handle, I know you only loaned them to me for a short time, I did the best I could, they are yours again, please watch over them." I am glad you can share with others. It is a good thing to hear people say that you are doing the right thing, and YOU ARE. No, not sick to want an apology. Me too. I want one. It may not come ever. Well, that is on them, isn't it? You are right, action speaks louder than words, more than an apology, I would like to see my two making better decisions and living a better life. But, they have to want that for themselves....... This is called awfullizing. We worry ourselves to the brink of ulcers on what could be happening to our kids. It is a terrible place to go. Try not to go there, I know it is oh so hard. The many times I have been there, my two are just having a wonderful time....doing their[I] thang[/I]. All that worrying for nothing. Does not help them, and is very destructive for us. You WILL make it, Looking. If not for you, focus on your 8 year old sweetie pie. Take this time to go through your feelings, then see the possibilities for your home to become a place of piece. Here is another tool I use to stop the crazy awfullizing.......Viktor Frankl "Viktor Emil Frankl was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist as well as a Holocaust survivor." [MEDIA=youtube]fD1512_XJEw[/MEDIA] So my dear, feel what you have to feel GET IT OUT. It is important to release all of the stuff built up inside. When I find myself slipping, I listen to sad songs, to help process how I am feeling. I write it out, draw, pray. Sometimes I just need to sleep, to make up for all of those sleepless nights, or early morning jolts awake with thoughts of my two. Give yourself the time and breaks you need. You are a warrior mom, warriors need R&R. Then, when you are ready, work at finding your strength and rebuilding. Make use of the amazing mentors who walked this earth, Maya Angelou, Viktor Frankl, Ghandi....etc. look for inspiration in the people you admire. You will be okay, Looking. We are all here rooting for you. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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