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Substance Abuse
Not the way I wanted her birthday to be
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<blockquote data-quote="busywend" data-source="post: 536643" data-attributes="member: 391"><p>Nancy, I thought of you this weekend. As we celebrated my difficult children 21st as well. It was Friday. We went out to dinner and I thought of you. You see I felt guilty because I could offer my difficult child her first 'legal' drink at dinner. And I thought of you. And how you would not ever be able to do that. It certainly is a small thing, but I lost so many of those 'normal' moments when difficult child was little, that I thought this one little thing might be a special moment. She declined and did not even want a drink even though it was legal for her that day (she has only had a few drinking moments) and I then thought of you again and how I wished that same moment for you. The turning down the drink that is. </p><p></p><p>But, your experience reminded me that offering that drink was not a special moment or a memory to be made. The turning down of the drink is the true proud parent moment. And the memory I will take with me and hopefully be able to always appreciate. </p><p></p><p>Yes, certainly your difficult child is not in a good place right now. I get the paying the ticket, but if she loses this job. That has to stop. You can buy new shoes and pay a ticket.....SHE has to keep the job to show her appreciation to you that you did these things. She messes this one up...you need to make it clear you are done helping her. It may not feel like enabling. But, essentially it is enabling the delay in rock bottom.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="busywend, post: 536643, member: 391"] Nancy, I thought of you this weekend. As we celebrated my difficult children 21st as well. It was Friday. We went out to dinner and I thought of you. You see I felt guilty because I could offer my difficult child her first 'legal' drink at dinner. And I thought of you. And how you would not ever be able to do that. It certainly is a small thing, but I lost so many of those 'normal' moments when difficult child was little, that I thought this one little thing might be a special moment. She declined and did not even want a drink even though it was legal for her that day (she has only had a few drinking moments) and I then thought of you again and how I wished that same moment for you. The turning down the drink that is. But, your experience reminded me that offering that drink was not a special moment or a memory to be made. The turning down of the drink is the true proud parent moment. And the memory I will take with me and hopefully be able to always appreciate. Yes, certainly your difficult child is not in a good place right now. I get the paying the ticket, but if she loses this job. That has to stop. You can buy new shoes and pay a ticket.....SHE has to keep the job to show her appreciation to you that you did these things. She messes this one up...you need to make it clear you are done helping her. It may not feel like enabling. But, essentially it is enabling the delay in rock bottom. [/QUOTE]
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Not the way I wanted her birthday to be
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