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Substance Abuse
Not the way I wanted her birthday to be
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 536650"><p>Hey Nancy; {{{hugs}}}</p><p></p><p>The sentiment in the card made me teary.</p><p></p><p>I am struggling like you to resist the urge to try to scoop up my difficult child and "make" him better, To toe the line between being his mother and being his enabler. And I am constantly reminding myself that I can't fix him...</p><p></p><p>Ridiculous, isn't it? I've tried to fix him so many times and they've had disastrous, and heartbreaking results. Yet, WANTING TO MAKE HIM WHOLE is my first instinct. </p><p></p><p>I don't have the answers. In my head; I know Wend is right, I reread the "how to stop enabling" primer twice this week...<em><strong>and it makes sense for everyone but me. </strong></em>(snort, I am being sarcastic, I could tell a hundred people to apply it, but balk on trying it myself, I know I am a hypocrite)</p><p></p><p>I don't want to be "that" (militant, non enabling?) mother. Yet, I don't want to be the mother I am right now either. What I really want is to be the mother of 3 healthy pcs. And that's not in the cards. So, I am here. I get it. I am holding your hand, and struggling by your side. And right now I am feeling like I have to put my need/desire to be a MOTHER to my difficult child ABOVE whatever "may be technically best" for difficult child.</p><p></p><p>Please know I don't mean to hijack your post or make it about me. I just sense that we are struggling with the same things lately. I am weary of all this. And starting to feel like I am 100 years old. And Wend, I am not picking you either; I know you are right. But I am struggling with doing what's right for difficult child and what's right for me. (Within reason of course.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 536650"] Hey Nancy; {{{hugs}}} The sentiment in the card made me teary. I am struggling like you to resist the urge to try to scoop up my difficult child and "make" him better, To toe the line between being his mother and being his enabler. And I am constantly reminding myself that I can't fix him... Ridiculous, isn't it? I've tried to fix him so many times and they've had disastrous, and heartbreaking results. Yet, WANTING TO MAKE HIM WHOLE is my first instinct. I don't have the answers. In my head; I know Wend is right, I reread the "how to stop enabling" primer twice this week...[I][B]and it makes sense for everyone but me. [/B][/I](snort, I am being sarcastic, I could tell a hundred people to apply it, but balk on trying it myself, I know I am a hypocrite) I don't want to be "that" (militant, non enabling?) mother. Yet, I don't want to be the mother I am right now either. What I really want is to be the mother of 3 healthy pcs. And that's not in the cards. So, I am here. I get it. I am holding your hand, and struggling by your side. And right now I am feeling like I have to put my need/desire to be a MOTHER to my difficult child ABOVE whatever "may be technically best" for difficult child. Please know I don't mean to hijack your post or make it about me. I just sense that we are struggling with the same things lately. I am weary of all this. And starting to feel like I am 100 years old. And Wend, I am not picking you either; I know you are right. But I am struggling with doing what's right for difficult child and what's right for me. (Within reason of course.) [/QUOTE]
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Not the way I wanted her birthday to be
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