Not thinking clearly...need advice

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mattsmum, Jul 26, 2007.

  1. mattsmum

    mattsmum New Member

    I am just so burnt out...

    difficult child has been kind of okay during the day. Yesterday we had a counseling appointment. then a medication management appointment. He had meltdowns at both. Once we left, he was fine.

    This morning, we had another counseling appointment. at another facility. Yet another meltdown. He was fine after.

    This afternoon I took him to a piano lesson (with a new teacher). He went in fine. At the end of the session the teacher said he was disagreeable and angry and refused to cooperate.

    After the lesson, he was fine.

    I cannot think clearly right now...too tired and emotionally worn out. Could the meltdowns be because...

    -we are in the process of switching mental health facilities and piano teachers

    -he is upset that at all sessions the adults were talking mostly to me and not him and he was trying to command attention and got angry that he wasn't the focus? Even though the therapists tried to engage him?

    -any evidence flourescent lighting can cause this??? (I know I am reaching here)
     
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    When you say, "meltdown," what is the specific behavior you're describing?

    My guess is that he doesn't want to be at the appointments or the piano lesson. My 14-year-old son often reacts with anger or sullenness when we take him to his psychiatrist. While there, he completely shuts down and won't talk to the psychiatrist. It's not that we're taking attention from him -- he thinks it's a complete waste of his time to be there. He also has a lot of anxiety and doesn't like to reveal anything personal about himself. Honestly, I don't think your difficult child's behavior is all that abnormal for a difficult child. I'm not sure many difficult children enjoy going to doctor appointments.

    Has your difficult child previously enjoyed piano lessons? If so, the teacher might not be a good match for him. If not, it might not be the best time to push the lessons.

    Any medication changes gong on?
     
  3. mattsmum

    mattsmum New Member

    difficult child at all three appointments had a huge selection of toys to play with while I talked to doctors. They weren't asking anything of him and he didn't complain about going. His birthmother was manipulative and demanded a lot of attention...that is what I am seeing in him.

    difficult child LOVES playing the piano and it was his urging that caused me to sign him up in the first place. He has previously loved lessons. This was his first lesson with a new teacher...the former teacher (his school music teacher) had to cancel for the summer due to a personal emergency.
     
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Since you're in the process of changing both mental health facility and the piano teacher, I'd say that might be your culprit. Especially since he was fine after both. The change over might be unsettling to him, or he just may resent it. Both are pretty big changes.

    Hugs
     
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Lisa's hit the nail on the head, I think. I was betting it's the change, too. Also, when a kid has too many toys to play with he has to make choices, and every choice he makes means he has to choose NOT to play with something, too. This can really upset some kids.

    Also, difficult child 3 will melt down even if he's doing something he generally enjoys, if it means he will miss the episode of "The Simpsons" that he had expected to be home in time for.

    Or whatever it is - they get something in their head that things are going to be THIS way, and circumstances change - and it's meltdown time.

    Fluorescent lighting - possibility, it can get blasted annoying when it flickers in the corner of your eye (there is a good physiological reason for that - interesting) and this flicker can also trigger seizures in some vulnerable people, although I think the rate of flicker is generally too high to trigger very much. But annoy a susceptible kid enough and they will explode. I remember an annoying flickering light from my schooldays, teachers hated that room especially on Friday afternoons - the kids were always irritable.

    Marg
     
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Marg

    You're right about the flourescent lighting. I meant to add that it can and has sent Travis into a meltdown or a complete withdrawl from his surroundings. They've also triggered his seizures, which is why he always had way more of them at school than anywhere else.
     
  7. waytootired

    waytootired New Member

    Any kind of change, especially if not prepared for it, triggers my difficult child. He relys on his routine and surroundings that he knows well, including docs & teachers.

    I agree with the others....Maybe too much change at once?
     
  8. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Ditto. any change triggers my difficult child to shutdown. Well, first there is the anger, mouth, then when people try to talk to him he completely shuts down. difficult child had ISS last year, and there were too many kids to hold it in the normal area, so they moved the ISS to the cafeteria. difficult child flipped out. Because they moved it. He admitted to that. Change is so hard for him. He doesn't talk at appointments either. but what REALLY irritates me is I talk and try to explain what is going on and then he has to pipe up and correct me. He tells me one thing, then when i try to pass on that information he tells another story. He does this at dr. appointment's, teacher conferences, even just conversation between husband and myself. Makes it look like I am lying, or making it all up.
     
  9. mattsmum

    mattsmum New Member

    Thanks for the advice. Today was a MUCH better day.
     
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