Note from school.

[Jamieh]

I had asked E's teacher to please write out a weekly report and include any problems he had thru the week. Hoping that we could work on certain things at therapy and counseling and talk to him about it at home. She sent home a letter today. She said his meltdowns have been much better this week and he had much more control. *YAY* But that he had a hard week interacting with his friends. He would annoy them or cry when they didn't play the way he wanted them to play. He was really hateful towards them at times. At the valentine party today he got very upset that he had 'girly valentine's' He threw one away. His teacher had to pull him out of the class and calm him down. Most of these behaviors do not really strike me as related to his adhd or sensory processing disorder (SPD). More of not getting his way. Which frustrates me. We don't allow him to act like this at home. I did talk to him about all of his behaviors that was mentioned in the letter. He received a consequence for the valentine thing. He had to write 'I am Sorry' 5 times and lost 2 tv choices for tonight. I just wish he could have one great week at school. Or just one awesome day...

 

[InsaneCdn]

But that he had a hard week interacting with his friends. He would annoy them or cry when they didn't play the way he wanted them to play

That sure sounds Aspie-like to me. In which case the problem is a major chunk of missing skills and abilities, NOT "just wanting his own way".
If he is on or anywhere close to the spectrum, treating him as though he "could if he wanted to" is cruel and unusual punishment. "Kids do well if they can" - key phrase out of The Explosive Child.

 

[Jamieh]

the counselor who sees him weekly told me yesterday that she believes he has Asperger's. She said he is able to engage with other people but that his quirks about how he plays and how he is obsessive over certain things leads her to think that. Also he always looks up and to the right when he talks. He does this thing with- his hand while he's talking...like he is writing in front of his face. He actually just started doing that like 3 months ago.

 

[buddy]

Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids are very black and white. Boys don't get girlie Valentines. Period.

He wasn't trying to be rude, just fix what he perceived as so wrong. If no one understands how wrong that is....and he's unable to explain it so they do?.....what's left but to fall apart?

This is why appropriate diagnosis are so important. By the time they're accurately diagnosis'd, they've been told they're wrong and rude and naughty without the gentle direct(specific step by step) teaching needed to learn each and every social rule.
They do not learn through the reactions of others nor through doing what they do if it makes no sense to them. Punishment, sorry to say, will not teach him the underlying flexibility and social rules. But you are learning too and it's a whole new way to think.

At home you can control it because he wouldn't have the social challenges he faces, plus we as parents naturally ....without even realizing it, set up our world in ways that work.

You don't need a diagnosis to know he is struggling and so why not learn about social stories and other methods to help him be successful. There are some nice books and web sites!

It won't feel like it now, but this is good news because there are so many options!

 

[BusynMember]

Sounds Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) to me too. But I wouldn't trust a counselor to diagnose. I'd get a neuropsychologist evaluation. ADHD and sensory processing disorder (SPD) are often just a part of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD).

 

[Jamieh]

Sounds Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) to me too. But I wouldn't trust a counselor to diagnose. I'd get a neuropsychologist evaluation. ADHD and sensory processing disorder (SPD) are often just a part of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD).

I'm not. He is on a waiting list to see a dr who can do a full evaluation on him. The waiting list is about 5months.

 

[TeDo]

Good for you. That means they're probably a good one. Our waiting list was 6 months and was worth every day of it.

 

[Jamieh]

He's been on the waiting list for a couple of months now. I think July is when we are expected to get in. I think he was added in December? so I guess it was like an 7 month wait to begin with.

 

[buddy]

What do you think? Are you you going to request a school evaluation? I can't remember if you said....

 

[Jamieh]

me and my hubby have not decided yet. We kind of want to see what this doctor says first.

 

[HaoZi]

I also think it sounds very Aspie. I just don't get why it takes so long to be tested :S I didn't get a full evaluation for my daughter (maybe that's what you're getting?), just a test for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), and we didn't have to wait at all - the longest part was finding a doctor to do that knew what he was doing.

 

[Jamieh]

There are not many doctors in this area who can evaluate for it and the one that is supposed to be the best has a really long waiting list (thats the one he is on) The other dr who does it is really old and does not take new patients. everyone has told me that the wait will be well worth it once we get in with- this dr.

 

[HaoZi]

I hope so, wish there was some way to speed it up for you!