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General Parenting
'Nother Newbie - ODD for 4 years
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<blockquote data-quote="VidQueen" data-source="post: 192954" data-attributes="member: 5871"><p>Well, grown physically, anyway. I figure my Ex is about 12 or 13, emotionally. During the last few months of our marriage, when we were really investigating what could be going on with difficult child, we found a checklist for Conduct Disorders. My Ex was floored when he scored higher than our difficult child. </p><p> </p><p>I am very blessed that (I believe) the biggest element in improving my difficult children behavior was removing her Dad from the home. Most of you out there dealing with this can't just kick someone out and make it all better. In my difficult children case, her Defiance was developed as a protection mechanism. Defiance is a way to gain control when everything in thier world is out of control. </p><p> </p><p>You know, as I'm reading what I just wrote I'm wondering if I'm trying to convince myself of all this. I can point to some physical abuse by her Dad...BUT...the reason HE got so frustrated with her was <em><u>because</u></em> of her exessive defiance at such a young age. He just thought he had to be tougher on her. Now my memory is playing the "Which Came First...." game<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p> </p><p>Heck, I even remember blaming the Lead Poisoning in Toys From China Recall. We had some of those toys. Lead poisoning does cause voilent mood swings and aggressive behavior. But....that was years ago. She still gets angry every day<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p> </p><p>Can't I just hope she'll grow out of it??!!!<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/laugh.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":laugh:" title="laugh :laugh:" data-shortname=":laugh:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="VidQueen, post: 192954, member: 5871"] Well, grown physically, anyway. I figure my Ex is about 12 or 13, emotionally. During the last few months of our marriage, when we were really investigating what could be going on with difficult child, we found a checklist for Conduct Disorders. My Ex was floored when he scored higher than our difficult child. I am very blessed that (I believe) the biggest element in improving my difficult children behavior was removing her Dad from the home. Most of you out there dealing with this can't just kick someone out and make it all better. In my difficult children case, her Defiance was developed as a protection mechanism. Defiance is a way to gain control when everything in thier world is out of control. You know, as I'm reading what I just wrote I'm wondering if I'm trying to convince myself of all this. I can point to some physical abuse by her Dad...BUT...the reason HE got so frustrated with her was [I][U]because[/U][/I] of her exessive defiance at such a young age. He just thought he had to be tougher on her. Now my memory is playing the "Which Came First...." game:frowny: Heck, I even remember blaming the Lead Poisoning in Toys From China Recall. We had some of those toys. Lead poisoning does cause voilent mood swings and aggressive behavior. But....that was years ago. She still gets angry every day:frowny: Can't I just hope she'll grow out of it??!!!:funny: [/QUOTE]
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'Nother Newbie - ODD for 4 years
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