Now All I Have To Do Is.......

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by TYLERFAN, Dec 8, 2006.

  1. TYLERFAN

    TYLERFAN New Member

    Hi Family:

    ....Get her to sign the custody papers.
    I received the "Consent Order" from my attorney. It stipulates that difficult child will have to undergo weekly as well as random drug testing....I have to pay for that /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif But, Ok, it's worth it.
    The agreement also says that difficult child has to be clean 24 months before she can petition the court for return of custody to herself....if she is also gainfully employed and can support Baby J financially and emotionally. I think she will squak about the 24 month period......I know she will, but difficult child when she was pregnant, stayed sober 9 months....now knowing how my difficult child thinks.....I am afraid she will see pregnancy as an easy way to stay clean for a year.....and could use that, ergo the 2 year stipulation.
    I am praying she will sign. She has liberal unsupervised visitation, I had to give in some......as long as I have legal and physical custody, I am okay with allowing this.
    Please say prayers for us as we will be speaking to difficult child this weekend about this document.
    Baby J is such a good boy....He really needs a stable environment and me and fiance love him to pieces.
    Thank you in advance for your good thoughts.
    By the way, difficult child is still living the gypsy life.....not wanting a home of her own. Preferring to go from one persons house to another....That is no life for my grandson......I just hope she signs and we don't have to take this further. She was a few days ago talking to her friend about going back to the sober house and program.....the friend was going to try to get her in.....I know the friend called her back and left message with Grandmonster.....I don't think she called.
    Also Grandmonster keeps telling her to put baby J in adoption with HER daughter........You will have to pry him out of my cold dead hands....... :9-07tears: :9-07tears: /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif
    I wish Grandmonster would just go away. :9-07tears:

    Blessings,
    Melissa *
     
  2. Ltlredhen

    Ltlredhen New Member

    I would make the "signing" as low key as possible. Not a lot of discussion, answer just what is asked. Just get it done. Will be holding good thoughts for you and all involved. It's tough, I know.

    Donna
     
  3. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    :warrior: Beads rattling! :smile:
    Peace
     
  4. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I pray it all goes very smoothly for you. I'm glad this is what they are offering. I think it's a win win situation for all. She has a chance to decide what she really wants to do with her life, and you get to know baby J is safe, well taken care of and loved.
     
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Ditto, Donna's post. If you approach the "signing" as if it
    is "just another document", the chances are that it will go
    without a hitch. As I suggested once before, offering her
    a ride somewhere she wants to go is a great combo. Pick her
    up, head to the destination and then casually say "these are the papers we've talked about...you need to sign (flip
    sheets) on this line and again on the next page....do I turn
    onto the next highway to get you where you need to go?"

    Sounds callous but that is exactly how I've done it in the
    past. No concern in my voice. No yakking details. difficult child's
    want what they want most. If she wants you to take her someplace or she wants to "borrow" a few bucks or whatever,
    the papers will be secondary in her mind. Go with the flow
    and then later you can pray that she does what she is suppose to do. Hugs. DDD
     
  6. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Melissa,

    Saying prayers that all goes well with the signing. A lot of good advice here and I have nothing to add but I am sending you many hugs. :biggrin:
     
  7. OTE

    OTE Active Member

    Best of luck, hope it goes well. FYI: in order to do an adoption as Grandmonster wishes, difficult child would have to terminate parental rights. She's certainly not going to do that with your offer on the table of permanent custody with liberal visitation. So ignore grandmonster's wishes, "giving him to her daughter" is not your choice, it's difficult children. And she's not going to do it.
     
  8. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    Wishing you luck Melissa. Like the idea of not putting alot of emphasis on signing the papers.
     
  9. AliceLee

    AliceLee New Member

    Hoping she signs and starts turning her life around. Hugs---
     
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