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Now ex-drug addict daughter is falling apart over stupid SO
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 508342" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>What he is doing is abuse, pure and simple. He is manipulating her and verbally abusing her and emotionally abusing ehr and actually the throwing things could be considered property damage and if he isn't on the land contract then he might actually have committed a crime by putting a hole n the wall. Even if he didn't, it is STILL the cycle of abuse. He degrades her, hurts her (not physically YET), intimidates her by throwing things and threatening, then he is all apologetic and sorry and "baby I love you give me another chance". </p><p></p><p>THAT IS ABUSE - DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. PERIOD.</p><p></p><p>She NEEDS to see a therapist of some kind. It would be amazing if she would go to a DV center because they can truly understand and help her. Here you make an appointment for an intake appointment unless the situation is physically dangerous. You are cautioned to NOT tell your abuser about the appointment because generally they object and it can put you in grave danger if they know about the appointment. At the intake, you tell a therapist what is going on and the therapist tells you her take on the situation and what they have to help you. Here you do a certain number of indiv therapy sessions and then do group and indiv therapy. The abuser also is offered therapy if the survivor wants to discuss it with them (they help with that) and it is pretty much the same - first some indiv sessions, then group therapy for abusers.</p><p></p><p>The tdocs are young almost exlusively. The ones here were excellent - professional, seemed to ahve good judgement, and they knew when to consult someone with more experience - and most tdocs in our area will help them if needed. This is ALL free - to both survivor and victim. They do help you get out if that is needed, and help with housing, food, legal fees, etc... as needed.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion this would be a great thing for your daughter. Often we tell ourselves it isn't abusive or the cycle of abuse because we don't get hit. I told myself that for decades about gfgbro. Heck, my mother is STILL telling me that if I allow her to speak about gfgbro to me. I don't allow it because it isn't healthy for any of us. </p><p></p><p>what do your calm, mommy instincts tell you? NOT the panicky OMG!!!!!! ones, the deep down, certain ones? What do they say you should do? in my opinion you should follow those.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry the situation is so bad. Maybe it is finally bad enough for her to make some real changes? You might encourage her to go to meetings (AA or NA) because she is vulnerable at this time and those might be a big help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 508342, member: 1233"] What he is doing is abuse, pure and simple. He is manipulating her and verbally abusing her and emotionally abusing ehr and actually the throwing things could be considered property damage and if he isn't on the land contract then he might actually have committed a crime by putting a hole n the wall. Even if he didn't, it is STILL the cycle of abuse. He degrades her, hurts her (not physically YET), intimidates her by throwing things and threatening, then he is all apologetic and sorry and "baby I love you give me another chance". THAT IS ABUSE - DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. PERIOD. She NEEDS to see a therapist of some kind. It would be amazing if she would go to a DV center because they can truly understand and help her. Here you make an appointment for an intake appointment unless the situation is physically dangerous. You are cautioned to NOT tell your abuser about the appointment because generally they object and it can put you in grave danger if they know about the appointment. At the intake, you tell a therapist what is going on and the therapist tells you her take on the situation and what they have to help you. Here you do a certain number of indiv therapy sessions and then do group and indiv therapy. The abuser also is offered therapy if the survivor wants to discuss it with them (they help with that) and it is pretty much the same - first some indiv sessions, then group therapy for abusers. The tdocs are young almost exlusively. The ones here were excellent - professional, seemed to ahve good judgement, and they knew when to consult someone with more experience - and most tdocs in our area will help them if needed. This is ALL free - to both survivor and victim. They do help you get out if that is needed, and help with housing, food, legal fees, etc... as needed. in my opinion this would be a great thing for your daughter. Often we tell ourselves it isn't abusive or the cycle of abuse because we don't get hit. I told myself that for decades about gfgbro. Heck, my mother is STILL telling me that if I allow her to speak about gfgbro to me. I don't allow it because it isn't healthy for any of us. what do your calm, mommy instincts tell you? NOT the panicky OMG!!!!!! ones, the deep down, certain ones? What do they say you should do? in my opinion you should follow those. I am sorry the situation is so bad. Maybe it is finally bad enough for her to make some real changes? You might encourage her to go to meetings (AA or NA) because she is vulnerable at this time and those might be a big help. [/QUOTE]
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