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Now ex-drug addict daughter is falling apart over stupid SO
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 508676" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>MWM, </p><p></p><p>You know - You can't MAKE her go to DV counseling - BUT nothing says that YOU can't go to a local domestic voilence shelter and pick up some phamplets and literature, send it to her - talk to them about the situation and get some information for yourself to get better educated on how to help her, what to say. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes the first step in DV situations for families is to become aware of WHAT an abuser is about. Basically a large BULLY - with a circle of violence and a time-line of that circle. If you understand his circle and time line - you can be able to point this out to her -sort of like you PREDICT what will happen/when and it helps her understand and see - OMG Mom is right - look it's happening all over again - OMG she's not psychic it just happens - there is a pattern....maybe I SHOULD read those phamplets. </p><p></p><p>That may help - there is always the chance that she'll chuck them in the trash while she's still involved with him - and of course there is a chance that she'll get local help for herself. </p><p></p><p>Just a thought. My help started with ONE poem - WHY SHE STAYS. It was like - HOW IN THE HELL can someone else know what I feel about THIS guy - and by the way - I did try to commit suicide over my x too - hanging seemed to be my way out. Never got the rope over the rafter in the barn - but I'll never forget the look on the horses face when I fell. It took me nearly 12 years from that point to get out.......and HE nearly killed me more times than I could count. So it sometimes takes a long time for women to figure it out. But you never know what can be helpful. </p><p></p><p>Hugs for both your pain.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 508676, member: 4964"] MWM, You know - You can't MAKE her go to DV counseling - BUT nothing says that YOU can't go to a local domestic voilence shelter and pick up some phamplets and literature, send it to her - talk to them about the situation and get some information for yourself to get better educated on how to help her, what to say. Sometimes the first step in DV situations for families is to become aware of WHAT an abuser is about. Basically a large BULLY - with a circle of violence and a time-line of that circle. If you understand his circle and time line - you can be able to point this out to her -sort of like you PREDICT what will happen/when and it helps her understand and see - OMG Mom is right - look it's happening all over again - OMG she's not psychic it just happens - there is a pattern....maybe I SHOULD read those phamplets. That may help - there is always the chance that she'll chuck them in the trash while she's still involved with him - and of course there is a chance that she'll get local help for herself. Just a thought. My help started with ONE poem - WHY SHE STAYS. It was like - HOW IN THE HELL can someone else know what I feel about THIS guy - and by the way - I did try to commit suicide over my x too - hanging seemed to be my way out. Never got the rope over the rafter in the barn - but I'll never forget the look on the horses face when I fell. It took me nearly 12 years from that point to get out.......and HE nearly killed me more times than I could count. So it sometimes takes a long time for women to figure it out. But you never know what can be helpful. Hugs for both your pain. [/QUOTE]
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