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Now he is really gone.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 678531" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>The first thing I did when he came home was to take him to a child neuropsychologist at a regional Children's Hospital who did the battery of tests. Mainly I remember that she said he had problems with sequencing. He went to a language therapist, right off, a therapist, and a behavioral nursery school. So he had interventions, intensively, from the beginning. Special Education was started in kindergarten. </p><p></p><p>I did not expect "normal" but I do not think I was realistic. I expected that his maturation would be "normal" whatever that is. I was unprepared, first, for him to turn against me, however normal that is, and I was unprepared for him to not fit into the normal upper middle class progression which people like me "expect" for their kids--college, etc.</p><p></p><p>I know it sounds crazy as I write it. How could I have expected all this when his background was so atypical. I mean, he was nearly 2 years in an orphanage. He was showing autistic-like behaviors, that were reversed, but still. He was traumatized. </p><p></p><p>I am telling the truth here, not to be hard on myself, but to reinforce to myself--our true achievement, his and my own. </p><p></p><p>That he would need a little help is no big deal. Given all that he has been through, he is indeed a hero. I need to acknowledge that. That we both did a good job. </p><p></p><p>I need to start working on that. To praise both of us. We did a good job. Maybe it is time to start rebuilding our family. As you are doing, Serenity, with your own. Maybe there is reason for hope.</p><p></p><p>Thank you,</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 678531, member: 18958"] The first thing I did when he came home was to take him to a child neuropsychologist at a regional Children's Hospital who did the battery of tests. Mainly I remember that she said he had problems with sequencing. He went to a language therapist, right off, a therapist, and a behavioral nursery school. So he had interventions, intensively, from the beginning. Special Education was started in kindergarten. I did not expect "normal" but I do not think I was realistic. I expected that his maturation would be "normal" whatever that is. I was unprepared, first, for him to turn against me, however normal that is, and I was unprepared for him to not fit into the normal upper middle class progression which people like me "expect" for their kids--college, etc. I know it sounds crazy as I write it. How could I have expected all this when his background was so atypical. I mean, he was nearly 2 years in an orphanage. He was showing autistic-like behaviors, that were reversed, but still. He was traumatized. I am telling the truth here, not to be hard on myself, but to reinforce to myself--our true achievement, his and my own. That he would need a little help is no big deal. Given all that he has been through, he is indeed a hero. I need to acknowledge that. That we both did a good job. I need to start working on that. To praise both of us. We did a good job. Maybe it is time to start rebuilding our family. As you are doing, Serenity, with your own. Maybe there is reason for hope. Thank you, COPA [/QUOTE]
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