Now I have news...

[PatriotsGirl]

I talked to difficult child last night and listened to her normal whining and complaining about jail (which I hate listening to, but husband said perfectly normal for anyone locked up). She again complained about the strictness of the family treatment court program and what the consequences are if she doesn't do it or messes up. I told her as long as she is doing what she is supposed to, she shouldn't have anything to worry about. husband and I are fully planning on supporting her 100% as long as she is doing what she is supposed to. She said the alternative was losing her child for 30 - 60 days and she didn't want baby daddy getting custody of the baby (not sure why when she fully plans on being with him afterwards).

She told me she has been immersed in the Bible in there. She said something told her yesterday she was getting out the next day and she cried tears of joy. I warned her that probably wouldn't happen. She said maybe she would at least hear something today and sure enough, I got an email from the courts this morning!!

She has been accepted to family treatment court. As long as she formally accepts, she will go to court on July 3rd, be released from jail on July 9th and go to residential treatment!!!

Her lawyer is going to go talk to her sometime this week (her baby daddy did hire one).

This is the final step...please pray with me that she does formally accept the program...thank you!!!

 

[recoveringenabler]

Prayers sent that she accepts the program and she is on a healthy path now...............awaiting the arrival of your grandson..............hugs.....

 

[PatriotsGirl]

She is still a difficult child for sure, but there is a HUGE difference talking to her after two months of sobriety. I am so, so hopeful that she will only get better with all of the help being offered her. I told her she can't think of it as a punishment - it is not a punishment - it is HELP and they are strict because that is what works.

 

[trinityroyal]

Adding in my prayers.

 

[Hopeless]

That is wonderful news PG.

 

[StressedM0mma]

What wonderful news PG. I am praying that she formally accepts this, and this is the path to her new beginning.

 

[dstc_99]

Awesome! I am so glad the courts are finally getting things rolling there. Let her whine. It is dang hard work being in jail and having to get sober while being pregnant. Then again she did put herself in there.

 

[Mattsmom277]

If you think it might help her, please tell her something from me. My mothers issues are NOT your difficult child's issues. However, the end result could be the same for her baby, time spent in foster care. I would have done ANYTHING for a mother capable of making the necessary choices and actions needed to ensure I could be with her safely and thrive in her care. I have the utmost respect for those who struggle but make all efforts to be what their children need them to be. She will be rewarded for a LIFETIME for her actions and decisions today and moving forward into treatment and upon release from treatment. She will be able to tell her child as he grows up that she loved him so much she overcame huge and difficult obstacles to ensure that he had a healthy and happy mother capable of providing ALL of his needs and ensuring that he remain with her. She has a lot to be proud of at 2 months clean, even if it was enforced due to being in jail. Each step forward she should honor herself and her commitment to her own life and future and now for the commitment to her sons life and future. What she is doing is the most selfless gift in the world and the most important. She CAN do this and succeed. She can make a fresh start, make the hard choices whatever those choices may be, even having to let go of her sons father if he can't get his life right. Because your daughter is a good person and KNOWS she can do this and her son deserves this. Please if you are comfortable, tell her that I personally absolutely believe she can do this and do it well. Nothing comes easy really in life, and some things are harder than others. But she is blessed with family support and so is her unborn baby. I can speak directly to what happens when a parent refuses to change or get help for their issues and it destroys a child. I applaud her and pray she not only signs the papers for this program, but embraces all that it is offering her and the opportunities she can create for herself.

 

[BusynMember]

Prayers coming in your direction.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

If you think it might help her, please tell her something from me. My mothers issues are NOT your difficult child's issues. However, the end result could be the same for her baby, time spent in foster care. I would have done ANYTHING for a mother capable of making the necessary choices and actions needed to ensure I could be with her safely and thrive in her care. I have the utmost respect for those who struggle but make all efforts to be what their children need them to be. She will be rewarded for a LIFETIME for her actions and decisions today and moving forward into treatment and upon release from treatment. She will be able to tell her child as he grows up that she loved him so much she overcame huge and difficult obstacles to ensure that he had a healthy and happy mother capable of providing ALL of his needs and ensuring that he remain with her. She has a lot to be proud of at 2 months clean, even if it was enforced due to being in jail. Each step forward she should honor herself and her commitment to her own life and future and now for the commitment to her sons life and future. What she is doing is the most selfless gift in the world and the most important. She CAN do this and succeed. She can make a fresh start, make the hard choices whatever those choices may be, even having to let go of her sons father if he can't get his life right. Because your daughter is a good person and KNOWS she can do this and her son deserves this. Please if you are comfortable, tell her that I personally absolutely believe she can do this and do it well. Nothing comes easy really in life, and some things are harder than others. But she is blessed with family support and so is her unborn baby. I can speak directly to what happens when a parent refuses to change or get help for their issues and it destroys a child. I applaud her and pray she not only signs the papers for this program, but embraces all that it is offering her and the opportunities she can create for herself.

I am copying and pasting this into a letter....thank you - this is amazing!!

 

[Kathy813]

Adding my good thoughts that your difficult child takes advantage of this wonderful opportunity.

~Kathy

 

[PatriotsGirl]

She has not called since Monday. I am assuming her lawyer must have gone to see her and she is probably fuming. Ah well. husband and I were talking this morning and he said she needs to understand this is what she needs to do to keep her baby. I told him how she mentioned before that if she didn't take the program, her baby would be taken for 30 - 60 days and she got to choose who had him. He asked if I would take him and I told him even if I would (and I believe he knows that I would), I would NEVER tell her that - it would give her an out and that is the last thing I want to do!

So....still waiting to hear from her and praying she doesn't make the wrong choice...she can be mad all she wants as long as she does it anyway.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Something told me to go see her today and husband was in the area so he went with me. What a disappointment and waste of time. She is not accepting the program. Claims it is "too strict" and gosh, "there were NINE women in jail for smoking cigarettes on the program!". Give me a break. Cop out. She said they mentioned step 2 treatment which is intensive outpatient and that she will do that. Whatever. We left and both agreed that we see the writing on the wall. She is going to get out, go back to the loser and lose the baby. It is time to distance myself because I do NOT want to go through that heartbreak.

I am done putting any money on her account, the phone - anything. I told her I will not support asinine thinking. She is on her own now. Let the loser do it. I'm so disappointed and so angry. I just typed up a letter and put it in the mail letting her know how I feel about her choices and that I will not support them. I hope she stays in jail until the baby is born now...

 

[AnnieO]

Awwww, crud. Dang it. Why do they not get it? Sigh. I hope she has that child before she gets out, too.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I don't even know what to say anymore. We are both just so disappointed. She is acting so selfishly. So DUMB.

I truly feel that I have done all that I can do at this point. I don't have anything left in me. I give up...

 

[PatriotsGirl]

And for husband to come with me to see her without me even asking him to?? That was HUGE...she even looked shocked to see us both there. But what a let down once she started talking... wish I could really literally slap her upside the head and knock some sense into her.

 

[AmericanGirl]

PG, I am so very sorry. I pray she stays in jail at least until the baby is born.

While I know your heart is breaking, you have done EVERYTHING possible to help her and the baby.

Detachment is, in my opinion, often the only road to peace. I know what you mean when you say you don't have anything left. I'm just numb to my very core where difficult child is concerned. But, we have to go on with our lives. Heal. Rebuild. Work. Love Laugh. Etc... It is the only good choice we have left.

Sending you hugs of support.

 

[lovemysons]

Oh my PG,
You truly have done over and above all you can do for difficult child.

I am so sorry that difficult child is not looking at the long term future...they tend to see only in terms of "today". And when they don't "want" something to work...it usually will not, sigh.

I so hope she will change her thinking. You are strong loving mom PG.
Hang in there,
Many hugs,
LMS

 

[PatriotsGirl]

She just called....I flat out told her that I just was not happy with her choices, her decisions and what she is doing and that I didn't really know what else to say to her. She seemed a bit let down, but what does she expect??

 

[Kathy813]

Oh, PG, I am so sorry.

{{{Hugs}}}

~Kathy