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Now that I kicked my 18 year old daughter out, where do I go from here?
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<blockquote data-quote="Cindy Marie" data-source="post: 711809" data-attributes="member: 21540"><p>This week was like old times. My daughter spent most of her days with me. Her 19th birthday is coming up next week and I did get her a few things. She still does not want to speak of him when she is with me and I have not tried to pressure her into talking or discussing this horrible situation. Furthermore, it has been somewhat peaceful not mentioning him for one day and just enjoying ourselves. Nevertheless, it still is so concerning as the situation is far from over and my once beautiful, vibrant, and sweet daughter looks so miserable and depressed and it shows so much on her face. I told her a few times to smile as I miss seeing those dimples. When she does "talk," she does so through text. After her first day seeing me this week, which was Monday, she wrote me at 8:16 P.M. that evening the following:</p><p></p><p>"I'm just fed up with everything honestly. I'm tired of living two different lives, I feel like I'm not myself and my brain is controlled. I'm too young for all this stress like I can't take it anymore. I miss my family and I'm mad at myself for getting into situations I can't get out of. Like I can't take it anymore and I'm over it. I want to come home to be with my family but I feel trapped inside. I want to take a break from work and I can't, I can't do that. I already owe taxes on the car I can't pay for(he threw the bill at her). I don't want it anymore. I want to be myself again and live my life how I want it without being afraid of worrying about what anyone thinks. I want God in my life and it is so hard to accept when I am living so bad but so fearful of myself and surroundings. I don't ever feel like I can be myself again. And I am sorry I've ruined myself and y'all. I wish I could turn back life but I can't and I just hope I don't get killed over. </p><p></p><p>Please help me mom as I just want to cry. I want to be in ur arms with no worries of how life should be...I'm not happy, especially with myself. This isn't me."</p><p></p><p>I did not text back that evening as there was so much going through my mind and so much to say--she asked me if I was saving it for the next day--I responded "yes."</p><p></p><p>But Tuesday came and not a word was spoken about him.. I wanted to once again see if she would open up in person and talk and she did not so we went about our day shopping and had lunch. When she left this day, she repeatedly wrote how much she misses and loves me and how she just wants to be herself again. </p><p></p><p>Wednesday came and she worked from 7-2. She wanted me to meet her for her break and have breakfast, so I did. She did stop by our house briefly after work and when I asked her why she had to leave so quickly as she was only here for approximately 20 minutes--she said "you know."</p><p>He has made her drop him off to work every morning and pick him up. Actually on Tuesday, I noticed how she did not leave for her daily lunch meeting with him and about 3:30 that day, I did tell her I appreciated and enjoyed her spending the entire day with me(as this was the first time she did not leave for his lunch break) and why did she not leave that day---she said " she did not feel like it." I hope this was the case but he probably had something to do and she did not leave. But that was it- I questioned no further.</p><p>She did actually open up during her break and told me that in front of his own mother the day before he said that he did not want her to see her sister because of their disputes and that she sucked up to her parents, namely me. My daughter said his mother told him that you only have one birth mother---he replied that he had "3"--his mother, stepmother, and his friend's mother he apparently considers as a mother..His mother said that my daughter was going to resent him for speaking of her mother as such. </p><p></p><p>Wednesday evening, she wrote me " I love you more than life and I will get out of this." I should have never treated you like this as you do not deserve it. She then said " I want to be back with you. I miss you mom more than anything. I wish it was not this way and things were back to normal. I want to live in my new house and go back. I miss my family. I do not want to live this life anymore. This is not a joke and looking back in high school I miss it. I want it to be tomorrow already."(She came over Thursday for the entire day again)</p><p></p><p>Then the words I was hoping to one day hear at 9:26 P.M. " I'll be coming back home in the next week for good." Goodnight mommy I can't wait to see you in the morning. I love you so dang much I mean it. Thanks for always being there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Cindy Marie, post: 711809, member: 21540"] This week was like old times. My daughter spent most of her days with me. Her 19th birthday is coming up next week and I did get her a few things. She still does not want to speak of him when she is with me and I have not tried to pressure her into talking or discussing this horrible situation. Furthermore, it has been somewhat peaceful not mentioning him for one day and just enjoying ourselves. Nevertheless, it still is so concerning as the situation is far from over and my once beautiful, vibrant, and sweet daughter looks so miserable and depressed and it shows so much on her face. I told her a few times to smile as I miss seeing those dimples. When she does "talk," she does so through text. After her first day seeing me this week, which was Monday, she wrote me at 8:16 P.M. that evening the following: "I'm just fed up with everything honestly. I'm tired of living two different lives, I feel like I'm not myself and my brain is controlled. I'm too young for all this stress like I can't take it anymore. I miss my family and I'm mad at myself for getting into situations I can't get out of. Like I can't take it anymore and I'm over it. I want to come home to be with my family but I feel trapped inside. I want to take a break from work and I can't, I can't do that. I already owe taxes on the car I can't pay for(he threw the bill at her). I don't want it anymore. I want to be myself again and live my life how I want it without being afraid of worrying about what anyone thinks. I want God in my life and it is so hard to accept when I am living so bad but so fearful of myself and surroundings. I don't ever feel like I can be myself again. And I am sorry I've ruined myself and y'all. I wish I could turn back life but I can't and I just hope I don't get killed over. Please help me mom as I just want to cry. I want to be in ur arms with no worries of how life should be...I'm not happy, especially with myself. This isn't me." I did not text back that evening as there was so much going through my mind and so much to say--she asked me if I was saving it for the next day--I responded "yes." But Tuesday came and not a word was spoken about him.. I wanted to once again see if she would open up in person and talk and she did not so we went about our day shopping and had lunch. When she left this day, she repeatedly wrote how much she misses and loves me and how she just wants to be herself again. Wednesday came and she worked from 7-2. She wanted me to meet her for her break and have breakfast, so I did. She did stop by our house briefly after work and when I asked her why she had to leave so quickly as she was only here for approximately 20 minutes--she said "you know." He has made her drop him off to work every morning and pick him up. Actually on Tuesday, I noticed how she did not leave for her daily lunch meeting with him and about 3:30 that day, I did tell her I appreciated and enjoyed her spending the entire day with me(as this was the first time she did not leave for his lunch break) and why did she not leave that day---she said " she did not feel like it." I hope this was the case but he probably had something to do and she did not leave. But that was it- I questioned no further. She did actually open up during her break and told me that in front of his own mother the day before he said that he did not want her to see her sister because of their disputes and that she sucked up to her parents, namely me. My daughter said his mother told him that you only have one birth mother---he replied that he had "3"--his mother, stepmother, and his friend's mother he apparently considers as a mother..His mother said that my daughter was going to resent him for speaking of her mother as such. Wednesday evening, she wrote me " I love you more than life and I will get out of this." I should have never treated you like this as you do not deserve it. She then said " I want to be back with you. I miss you mom more than anything. I wish it was not this way and things were back to normal. I want to live in my new house and go back. I miss my family. I do not want to live this life anymore. This is not a joke and looking back in high school I miss it. I want it to be tomorrow already."(She came over Thursday for the entire day again) Then the words I was hoping to one day hear at 9:26 P.M. " I'll be coming back home in the next week for good." Goodnight mommy I can't wait to see you in the morning. I love you so dang much I mean it. Thanks for always being there. [/QUOTE]
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Now that I kicked my 18 year old daughter out, where do I go from here?
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