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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 349803" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thank you! He has both sides to him- like most of our difficult child's, but yes, he can control this or learn to manage the stresses that do interfere- although I don't think there were any major stresses causing this- except I will say, the desire to be accepted by peers contributed, I am sure. I definitely don't think medications are going to solve this problem- a good therapist could help a lot if difficult child would let them. Hopefully, the mentor can help. I am not so sure that an immediate re-incarceration would do the trick. But part of that is due to the specific details I am aware of that I just don't feel like getting into yet because I'm so frustrated over it still. You know, there at the end of difficult child's stay in Department of Juvenile Justice, if I even mentioned his difficult times and that "he has his moments", those staff said he was a great kid, I should be proud, he knows what he did and has owned up to it. Ok, he snowed them too. But I still think he has a side that really does want to succeed and get past this. He's just so flipping clueless in some ways- not that it excuses trying to manipulate me or using me or others- but like the Department of Juvenile Justice school staff noticed, he absolutely cannot handle feeling like he isn't accepted or liked by peers.</p><p></p><p>ok- here's what he did- he called this kid up (his old best friend) and told him that now he wasn't on medications anymore- now he could drink like other teenagers, so he had gotten drunk. There was absolutely NO sign that he had. But today, I found a couple of empty beer cans in the game room- he had drank beer- AFTER he called the friend and bragged about it and how cool his PO was. He never drank before- I have beer in the house but I guess I never realized that the ONLY reason he never touched them was because he was on medications. And in his mind especially after being around kids in Department of Juvenile Justice for a year, all teens in high school drink so now he thinks he can because he isn't on medications.</p><p></p><p>I think we now have a point made- I told him no matter what the PO did- if I have to live with things locked up and not being able to trust him to get a good night's sleep- there will be NO learner's permit.</p><p></p><p>Yes, I understand trying beeer is a typical teen thing. I also understand my son is on parole and this is illegal and doing this just to brag because he thinks it will win him friends at a new school is not wise. And I have zero appreciation for his efforts to try to bully me into not telling or trying to put the blame back on me. That's the part that gets me most- he had been manning up to things- he better get back there quick if he thinks this is going to work. I'm letting him enjoy these feelings of being in mainstream high school for a whhile- we'll see if he reevaluates things- assuming either the PO or mentor set him straight. So for this, I wouldn't want him incarcerated. If they send a strong message and difficult child has had a few more days to weigh the future he can have vs the other non-future he can have and he chooses, than so be the consequences he has made for himself. Heartbroken as I might be over it- yes mom23- we do get our mommy dreams involved.</p><p></p><p>Now, where is that duct tape??</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 349803, member: 3699"] Thank you! He has both sides to him- like most of our difficult child's, but yes, he can control this or learn to manage the stresses that do interfere- although I don't think there were any major stresses causing this- except I will say, the desire to be accepted by peers contributed, I am sure. I definitely don't think medications are going to solve this problem- a good therapist could help a lot if difficult child would let them. Hopefully, the mentor can help. I am not so sure that an immediate re-incarceration would do the trick. But part of that is due to the specific details I am aware of that I just don't feel like getting into yet because I'm so frustrated over it still. You know, there at the end of difficult child's stay in Department of Juvenile Justice, if I even mentioned his difficult times and that "he has his moments", those staff said he was a great kid, I should be proud, he knows what he did and has owned up to it. Ok, he snowed them too. But I still think he has a side that really does want to succeed and get past this. He's just so flipping clueless in some ways- not that it excuses trying to manipulate me or using me or others- but like the Department of Juvenile Justice school staff noticed, he absolutely cannot handle feeling like he isn't accepted or liked by peers. ok- here's what he did- he called this kid up (his old best friend) and told him that now he wasn't on medications anymore- now he could drink like other teenagers, so he had gotten drunk. There was absolutely NO sign that he had. But today, I found a couple of empty beer cans in the game room- he had drank beer- AFTER he called the friend and bragged about it and how cool his PO was. He never drank before- I have beer in the house but I guess I never realized that the ONLY reason he never touched them was because he was on medications. And in his mind especially after being around kids in Department of Juvenile Justice for a year, all teens in high school drink so now he thinks he can because he isn't on medications. I think we now have a point made- I told him no matter what the PO did- if I have to live with things locked up and not being able to trust him to get a good night's sleep- there will be NO learner's permit. Yes, I understand trying beeer is a typical teen thing. I also understand my son is on parole and this is illegal and doing this just to brag because he thinks it will win him friends at a new school is not wise. And I have zero appreciation for his efforts to try to bully me into not telling or trying to put the blame back on me. That's the part that gets me most- he had been manning up to things- he better get back there quick if he thinks this is going to work. I'm letting him enjoy these feelings of being in mainstream high school for a whhile- we'll see if he reevaluates things- assuming either the PO or mentor set him straight. So for this, I wouldn't want him incarcerated. If they send a strong message and difficult child has had a few more days to weigh the future he can have vs the other non-future he can have and he chooses, than so be the consequences he has made for himself. Heartbroken as I might be over it- yes mom23- we do get our mommy dreams involved. Now, where is that duct tape?? [/QUOTE]
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