Now what do we do

[princess]

Hi everyone

i posted here before most recently my son went to rehab has been out almost two
weeks i have been suspicious this last week of him he went back to college has been
doing his work and going to class however he has not been sleeping well and
falling asleep while sitting up things i noticed when he used herion.....well i decided to snoop in his room and found hidden used heroin packets and needles i am sick i am not sure what to do now my husband is away for this week i left him a message to let him know. I talked to my son who tells me he has anxiety and stress and cannot stop the anxiety but the drug takes it away-the rehab has him on an antidepressant he has an appointment with a psychiatrist in two weeks soonest i could get he is still seeing my therapist and the outpatient drug counselor who is says he does not like i am not surprised by him using i am very disappointed and sad i just cannot keep going through this i have an appointment with my doctor next week my therapist feels an antidepressant is what i need now some days i do not feel like going to work i just got a promotion and have more work to do but having difficulty doing it i hate medication and reluctant to do this but after today i feel so helpless and not sure if i can get through this again. I have an nar-anon meeting tommorrow night but i would appreciate your thoughts as you all understand -my close friends kids are all easy child's and they do not understand.

 

[lovemysons]

Princess we do understand that helpless feeling.
I am so sorry that your son is already using again.

Do you have a sponser yet from your Nar-Anon meetings?
Can you call them? They may be able to help guide you?

Do you feel right now, that your son is a danger to himself? You may be able to get him into psychiatric hospital on 72 hr hold??? Just thinking...

I just really wanted to reach out to you as I know you are hurting.
caring hugs and prayers,
LMS

 

[Nancy]

Princess he needs to ask his psychiatrist about suboxone. Many heroin users complain of anxiety and relapse because of the urges and cravings. I'm not sure how his rehab center feels about suboxone, some do not allow its use.

 

[christine5555]

I'm new here but just want to say anti-depressants are a life saver for me in so many ways. I wish I didn't have to take them but I am grateful there is such a thing to keep my seratonin levels where they should be or else I'd of cracked by now... Especially going through what we mom's are going through... You most certainly are not alone princess.. xx

 

[toughlovin]

Oh Princess I am sorry you are going through this... watching them relapse is so difficult and heart breaking. I think it is important to realize his recovery is really in his hands and not yours. I would call the outpatient counslor and let him know he is using again. I would make sure you give him no money for anything.... and to absolutely do what you can to take care of yourself. All you can do there is to be there for him when he wants help, but if he doesnt want to stop using you really cant make him as much as you would like to.

TL

 

[Kathy813]

Oh, princess, I am so sorry. How long was he in rehab for?

~Kathy

 

[princess]

My son was in rehab for 35 days which included the detox not enough time for someone who used drugs for the last two years it started out with pot. I did find another psychiatrist that does work with mental health issues and can prescribe suboxone however does not take any insurance the first appointment will be $350 for an hr and half then $200 every appointment after that they said my insurance will cover the medication but with restrictions so I may have to pay for that i have money saved for a new kitchen but I rather spend it on my son and hope and pray this works I can get a new kitchen one of these days My husband disagrees wants him to leave the house but I want to try this and see what happens. I told him no drugs in the house I will snoop again but in my Nar-anon meeting they said kids hide their drugs very clever. I am having such a hard time with this I spent my day today at work in the bathroom crying. I know it is up to him to stop using but I want to do what i can to help thanks everyone for your support I appreciate it,

 

[Kathy813]

I really don't think that 35 days is enough time for rehab. I was told that it takes 30 days for all of the drugs to even get out of their system before they can be clear headed enough to respond to treatment. I hate that insurance companies get away with refusing to to cover the longer needed stays.

Quite honestly, if your son is using heroin you are in a life or death situation. I would do anything and everything I could to get him back into a longer residential program. We faced this same dilemma a year ago and ended up using quite a lot of our life savings to get our difficult child into a 90 day residential program followed by a 2 month intensive outpatient program.

I truly understand your reluctance to spend that kind of money but truthfully after my daughter's heroin overdose and realizing how close we came to losing her, the money didn't matter to me anymore.

I don't know if your son could be covered under the Affordable Care Act but I know that mental health treatment and substance abuse treatment is mandated under the AFA. Maybe you could look into that for your son (when they ever get the website straightened out).

~Kathy

 

[princess]

Hi Kathy:

I did ask my son if he wanted to go back into inpatient rehab he said no. Then he started taking about the Suboxenx and I researched that and found a doctor who is a psychiatrist he takes no insurance at all so all the office visits and possibly medication will be at our expense the first appointment is over $300.00 and the remaining should be about $200 each visit. I am not sure about the medication. There is a mom in my Nar-anon group that she said this saved her daughter who was addicted for about 10 years. I would re-mortgage our house if I knew he wanted to go inpatient for the 90 days then any treatment after that but he told me did not learn that much from the inpatient stay. In looking back I should have chosen the other facility on my plan. My insurance will pay again for 30 days in January for the other place and we would have to pay the rest. I agree with you that 30 days is not enough time. I am afraid to come home some nights that I will find him dead from an overdose. As I have read from the other postings on this site many of the parents have made their kids leave the house. My husband feels that this is the next step for him if this does not work...he tells me that he will not pay for something that he does not want to do. I still have a hard time accepting all this has happened to my family...two years ago everything was so nice and peaceful now I feel like my home is a stress zone.

 

[DDD]

Sending very caring hugs of support your way. My husband and I spent our retirement funds and remortgaged our home to make sure our grandson survived his drug years and subsequent medical problems. Truthfully I understand how your husband feels because it is possible to make a good case for "cutting the user loose". on the other hand we have NOT dealt with heroin and hard drugs. There have been a number of successes here on SA for difficult child's who used suboxone. It must depend on where you live because I am positive that one of the success stories was a divorced Mom who had very limited income. Have you checked to see if he would be eligible for free treatment if he was no longer your official dependent? That might offer a different path to treatment. I will include you and yours in my prayers. Geez, this drug issue ruins so many of our lives. Hugs DDD

 

[Kathy813]

princess, my difficult child did not "want" to go. The interventionist that we used told me that only 15% of addicts go into treatment voluntarily. Most got into treatment because of court orders or family pressure.

We spent a lot of money on an interventionist who found the best fit for our difficult child and then helped us through the process. It came down to a choice of leaving our house and losing all financial support or going into treatment. Even then she refused to leave so we went to court and got a temporary protection order against her and when the deputies went to our house to escort her out she decided that she would go into rehab after all.

It was a three month residential program followed by an out-patient program. I truly believe it saved her life.

I agree with your DG, though. If your son refuses treatment, then he should leave. Letting him live there using drugs is enabling him. In effect, you are supplying his heroin if he uses money for that because he doesn't have other expenses. That was hard to hear for me but I realized our therapist was right.

I don't know anything about suboxone. It would certainly be worth looking into.

There are no easy answers.

{{{Hugs}}}

~Kathy

 

[princess]

Hello Everyone

Well we had the first appointment with the dr who prescribed the Suboxone film to my son. Apparently he has been using but not like before he told me that he is glad I caught him (not sure I believe that) anyway he has been on this medication three days now he seems like his old self. They do drug test him when he is seen to make sure he is taking the medication and also nothing else. The appointment was $350 plus $100 for the first week of medication. The next appointment will be $200 and they are going to see if my insurance will cover the medication. We go next week then I think the visits are every two weeks then three then once a month. This is a psychiatrist and I discussed with him my son's anxiety and panic issues he tells me that him taking all the drugs can cause this and he wants to see how he is after a few weeks on this medication. He also told me that the rehab center my son was at is not the best they have other branches of this rehab which are hours away from my house which are better-I did not know this. My son will continue to see my therapist he seems to like him.....so giving this a try. I went to see my dr today for some blood work she gave me an rx for an antidepressant have not filled it yet. I am afraid to take it she feels I need something for at least a while until I get through this. I hate taking any medications go figure my difficult child takes anything and shoots drugs into his vein UGH! Thanks everyone for all your advice prayers and support it really does help posting on this site.

 

[Kathy813]

princess, that sounds like a great start. You sound like you have found a good p-doctor which is so important. Why won't your insurance cover the p-doctor visits?

~Kathy

 

[PatriotsGirl]

This is a psychiatrist and I discussed with him my son's anxiety and panic issues he tells me that him taking all the drugs can cause this and he wants to see how he is after a few weeks on this medication.

This is very, very true. My daughter was a complete mess on drugs. Now that she has been clean for months, she no longer has depression, anxiety nor panic. Drugs caused a LOT of issues. I would have sworn she would have to take anti-depressants at least. Nope. She needed nothing but to get off the drugs completely and time for her mind to clear...

 

[princess]

Hi Kathy:

This doctor does not deal with insurances at all. He worked with a large facility before and then went into practice by himself taking insurance which he stopped doing. I work with insurance and everything has to be billed correctly and some patient need referrals etc. so it is paperwork for the dr. He has a very nice office so I think he does well from my conversation with him I think he works with a lot of addicts whose families pay in hope things will get better. My chiropractor also stopped dealing with insurance companies she said it was too much of a hassle.

 

[Kathy813]

princess, can you pay the doctor directly but then file it as out of network yourself? I understand what you are saying, though. The treatment center that we sent our difficult child to was strictly self pay and they did not file insurance either. However, they did say that they would give us a final invoice that could be sent to the insurance company. She said some companies reimbursed the families and some didn't.

My difficult child still needs medications even though she is sober but she does take a lot less of them. She is still on an antidepressant but is no longer on mood stabilizers. She also still takes Trazedone to sleep.

~Kathy