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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 509724" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Well, being a parole plan, I doubt they are going to ask difficult child what he wants. They might ask what he thinks would help but they ask that once before and he couldn't think of anything. One thing that sticks out in my mind, PO and super "met" with difficult child, his behavior couselor, and therapist at the Department of Juvenile Justice facility via video-conference by themselves without allowing me and the attny I brought join in. I have never seen any of them do this- and this will be difficult child's 4th time on either probation or parole. POs have met with difficult child privately before, but there have not been mtgs with others that I've not been invited to or allowed to attend. Parents are supposedly allowed to attend treatment team mtgs while the kid is in a Department of Juvenile Justice facility so this should be no different.</p><p></p><p>I need to be there tomorrow. I don't know if I'll call PO first or not. The way the coordinator brought it up to me was by asking if PO had called and he said "you are going to be there aren't yyou?" and when I said I hadn't even heard about it, he looked befuddled. </p><p></p><p>This PO hasn't done anything by the book. That's what I want stopped. If the parole plan is written, difficult child and I are to each get written copies. </p><p></p><p>DF- the advantage detention reentry gives that might specifically help difficult child are threefold. 1) it slows the transition from a Department of Juvenile Justice facility instead of the typical state expectations which state a kid is to be enrolled in a public or private school and ready to attend schoiol within 2 days of release from Department of Juvenile Justice- so basicly, in less than 48 hours a kid is supposed to adjust from incarceration to sitting in school with new clothes, supplies, etc, and pretending that none of this ever happened. It's a little too overwhelming for that to be realistic. Thus, truancy typically follows shortly afterwards. 2) It gives time for difficult child and I to spend time together, outside a facility, to get re-established as me the parent, him the kid, and to see how he's going to do and for us to get our comfort level back- mainly me to get my comfort level back. That length of time is supposed to increase a couple of times until he spends the night and we see how it goes, prior to him actually being released. I know difficult child probably wouldn't try anything under those circumstances, but I need to know it's a situation where he probably wouldn't try anything stupid for me to even feel comfortable enough to try it. (One thing I should point out- since this one involves safety and difficult child's big crimes, I consider this one most important and no one has even mentioned this yet.) 3) It is conceivable that there is an advantage of starting some services while he's still locked up and having them be completed after release- that gives him some continuity and also lessens the time he'll have left to complete them after he gets home.</p><p></p><p>But if they think he can do an anger man course, substance abuse follow-up, in home therapy (3-4 x per wk), have a mentor (3-4 x per wk) plus attend school full time and do homework...oh- they want him to get a job, too. Nope- they aren't going to sit there tomorrow am and convince him to agree to this by saying that's what it will take in order to get released soon. difficult child and I both would snap over a schedule like that. </p><p></p><p>Further, difficult child still wants to talk to his def attny. The only way detention reentry can be used, according to Department of Juvenile Justice regs which are to be followed per state law, is to send a kid there as a step-down PRIOR to his release date. difficult child already had his release signed off on so it should never have been changed to be sent here. I haven't fought that legally yet because this could offer the very things I asked for at that mtg back in Oct/Nov. But if PO is still pulling under-handed koi- which will become more than clear this week- I will pick up a legal battle again and just shoot for difficult child getting released right away. Ditching the ang man class he just got out of and starting a neww, different type of one just seems stupid and a waste of valuable time and resources to me. Especially since difficult child's crimes were not crimes out of anger. He did it seeking stress relievers- either by demanding cigs or taking money to try to get away during the night and do drugs. But for some reason, reentry lady and PO- no one really except the therapist in Department of Juvenile Justice- sees any importance at all in stress reduction. If I bring that up, it goes in one ear and out the other. Yet, this is both difficult child's and my biggest issues at home. If I made issue, they'd send more people to the home to do doG know what but NO Department of Juvenile Justice-hired person is going to do stress reduction so we are just left wwith more people making more demands on top of whatever we already have. </p><p></p><p>I think I'll just plan to go tomorrow. difficult child might be coming out on parole, but he's still a minor. This isn't a therapy session and reentry lady has had her private interview with difficult child a long time ago. PO could go alone and I wouldn't think twice of it. But if both of them plus coordinator at detention are scheduled to meet, I think I have a right to be there, too. Especially since coordinator looked surprised and said he thought I'd be there. What does that say? Typically, parents are there? Maybe I'll present it that way-" it was my understanding that typically parents are at these mtgs."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 509724, member: 3699"] Well, being a parole plan, I doubt they are going to ask difficult child what he wants. They might ask what he thinks would help but they ask that once before and he couldn't think of anything. One thing that sticks out in my mind, PO and super "met" with difficult child, his behavior couselor, and therapist at the Department of Juvenile Justice facility via video-conference by themselves without allowing me and the attny I brought join in. I have never seen any of them do this- and this will be difficult child's 4th time on either probation or parole. POs have met with difficult child privately before, but there have not been mtgs with others that I've not been invited to or allowed to attend. Parents are supposedly allowed to attend treatment team mtgs while the kid is in a Department of Juvenile Justice facility so this should be no different. I need to be there tomorrow. I don't know if I'll call PO first or not. The way the coordinator brought it up to me was by asking if PO had called and he said "you are going to be there aren't yyou?" and when I said I hadn't even heard about it, he looked befuddled. This PO hasn't done anything by the book. That's what I want stopped. If the parole plan is written, difficult child and I are to each get written copies. DF- the advantage detention reentry gives that might specifically help difficult child are threefold. 1) it slows the transition from a Department of Juvenile Justice facility instead of the typical state expectations which state a kid is to be enrolled in a public or private school and ready to attend schoiol within 2 days of release from Department of Juvenile Justice- so basicly, in less than 48 hours a kid is supposed to adjust from incarceration to sitting in school with new clothes, supplies, etc, and pretending that none of this ever happened. It's a little too overwhelming for that to be realistic. Thus, truancy typically follows shortly afterwards. 2) It gives time for difficult child and I to spend time together, outside a facility, to get re-established as me the parent, him the kid, and to see how he's going to do and for us to get our comfort level back- mainly me to get my comfort level back. That length of time is supposed to increase a couple of times until he spends the night and we see how it goes, prior to him actually being released. I know difficult child probably wouldn't try anything under those circumstances, but I need to know it's a situation where he probably wouldn't try anything stupid for me to even feel comfortable enough to try it. (One thing I should point out- since this one involves safety and difficult child's big crimes, I consider this one most important and no one has even mentioned this yet.) 3) It is conceivable that there is an advantage of starting some services while he's still locked up and having them be completed after release- that gives him some continuity and also lessens the time he'll have left to complete them after he gets home. But if they think he can do an anger man course, substance abuse follow-up, in home therapy (3-4 x per wk), have a mentor (3-4 x per wk) plus attend school full time and do homework...oh- they want him to get a job, too. Nope- they aren't going to sit there tomorrow am and convince him to agree to this by saying that's what it will take in order to get released soon. difficult child and I both would snap over a schedule like that. Further, difficult child still wants to talk to his def attny. The only way detention reentry can be used, according to Department of Juvenile Justice regs which are to be followed per state law, is to send a kid there as a step-down PRIOR to his release date. difficult child already had his release signed off on so it should never have been changed to be sent here. I haven't fought that legally yet because this could offer the very things I asked for at that mtg back in Oct/Nov. But if PO is still pulling under-handed koi- which will become more than clear this week- I will pick up a legal battle again and just shoot for difficult child getting released right away. Ditching the ang man class he just got out of and starting a neww, different type of one just seems stupid and a waste of valuable time and resources to me. Especially since difficult child's crimes were not crimes out of anger. He did it seeking stress relievers- either by demanding cigs or taking money to try to get away during the night and do drugs. But for some reason, reentry lady and PO- no one really except the therapist in Department of Juvenile Justice- sees any importance at all in stress reduction. If I bring that up, it goes in one ear and out the other. Yet, this is both difficult child's and my biggest issues at home. If I made issue, they'd send more people to the home to do doG know what but NO Department of Juvenile Justice-hired person is going to do stress reduction so we are just left wwith more people making more demands on top of whatever we already have. I think I'll just plan to go tomorrow. difficult child might be coming out on parole, but he's still a minor. This isn't a therapy session and reentry lady has had her private interview with difficult child a long time ago. PO could go alone and I wouldn't think twice of it. But if both of them plus coordinator at detention are scheduled to meet, I think I have a right to be there, too. Especially since coordinator looked surprised and said he thought I'd be there. What does that say? Typically, parents are there? Maybe I'll present it that way-" it was my understanding that typically parents are at these mtgs." [/QUOTE]
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