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General Parenting
Nurture vs. Enabling
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 205540" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>I think the way to discern what's nurturing and what's enabling is to look at it from the perspective of how either choice will impact their daily lives. </p><p>***</p><p>Everyone gets depressed. Fact of life, every now and again, we all get down. For some, it impacts their daily routines and quality of life. Will getting tough on them help? No. They need different interventions to learn to deal with their depression. Getting tough might actually make it worse.</p><p>***</p><p>Same thing with anxiety. Everyone gets anxious. If you have to stand up in front of a crowd and give a new presentation, you'll probably be anxious. Some might not even be able to do it. For most, you get over this by facing your fear and doing it. But what if your fear is everyday things, and facing them over and over doesn't make them go away. It affects daily routines and quality of life. Will getting tough on them help? No. Again, getting tough might even make it worse. You need different methods of dealing with this kind of anxiety.</p><p>***</p><p>Your son will probably always have problems with anxiety. The ideal situation is that it goes away - but that's not likely. So the hope is that he learns, with your help, tools to help him to control his symptoms so that he can deal with his anxiety on his own as an adult and keep the impact of his anxiety on his life minimal.</p><p>***</p><p>Ask yourself if pushing your son by leaving him alone in the night will help him. Then trust the answer your gut gives you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 205540, member: 1848"] I think the way to discern what's nurturing and what's enabling is to look at it from the perspective of how either choice will impact their daily lives. *** Everyone gets depressed. Fact of life, every now and again, we all get down. For some, it impacts their daily routines and quality of life. Will getting tough on them help? No. They need different interventions to learn to deal with their depression. Getting tough might actually make it worse. *** Same thing with anxiety. Everyone gets anxious. If you have to stand up in front of a crowd and give a new presentation, you'll probably be anxious. Some might not even be able to do it. For most, you get over this by facing your fear and doing it. But what if your fear is everyday things, and facing them over and over doesn't make them go away. It affects daily routines and quality of life. Will getting tough on them help? No. Again, getting tough might even make it worse. You need different methods of dealing with this kind of anxiety. *** Your son will probably always have problems with anxiety. The ideal situation is that it goes away - but that's not likely. So the hope is that he learns, with your help, tools to help him to control his symptoms so that he can deal with his anxiety on his own as an adult and keep the impact of his anxiety on his life minimal. *** Ask yourself if pushing your son by leaving him alone in the night will help him. Then trust the answer your gut gives you. [/QUOTE]
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