O.M.G. difficult child's and matches...

[gcvmom]

Maybe this is a "General" item, but it has to do with my husband who is a difficult child in his own right, and difficult child 2...

I went out to the store to pick up husband's sport coat that I was having repaired (it's new and when I went to open the pockets that were sewn shut, I removed the WRONG seam on one of them so the pocket opened up to the inside lining of the jacket) since he needs it for his first day at work tomorrow.

Since I was up by Target I decided to pick up a couple things we need and then got back home in about 90 minutes. Not gone that long.

I walk in the house and I smell something burning. I get in the dining room and there's difficult child 2 with a very guilty look on his face. He starts 'splaining... something about lighting a candle, but messing it up, and then trying to "fix" it... there's red wax all over a spoon, a plastic cup, and the vinyl table cloth, not to mention half a book of matches gone and the burned out matches all over the table, plus a few burned pieces of paper.

He was SUPPOSED to be doing homework.

And WHERE was husband?

Ten feet away.

On the couch.

With his headphones on.

Snoring and obviously sound asleep.

 

[tiredmommy]

O.M.G.

 

[klmno]

I can relate to your difficult child on this one. When I was in about 5th grade I thought I would impress my social studies teacher by making the edges of my history paper looked old and yellowed- by burning the edges over a candle that was on the dining room table. (I honestly do not know where that link to my brain was that night. LOL) Fortunately, my step-father was awake and smelled the smoke when it burst into flames, as I was still holding the paper and frozen with my jaw dropped. He grabbed the paper and threw it in the kitchen sink and covered for me so my mom wouldn't kill me.

I think you need to tell your husband to forget the headphones when he's alone with the boys. LOL! I'm glad it didn't end up with anything on fire!

 

[Shari]

I'm not even sure what to say other than .... "wow".

 

[Lothlorien]

I'm with Shari...wow!

 

[mstang67chic]

Yep...me too....Wow. Maybe husband would do something if one of those matches were lit under a specific area of his anatomy???

difficult child was a bit of a fire bug for awhile but fortunately seems to have grown out of it. He didn't always need matches though the one time was an innocent accident. He had a lamp in his room that was missing the shade...probably because he destroyed it. He threw a t-shirt over the bare bulb to either dim it a bit or give his room some mood lighting. Burnt a big hole in the shirt of course. Matches and lighters were always kept in our room or in our pockets as we are smokers. Er....I mean as I WAS a smoker!

Hugs.

 

[gcvmom]

Something about this kid and accidents involving fire... or electricity. I remember an incident about four or five years ago, he and difficult child 1 were sharing a bedroom... they had just gone to bed one night we heard this loud POP and the power went out. husband went out to the breaker box and just reset all the switches and everything was fine. Didn't think much about it until a few days later I happened to be in the boys' room and saw some black smudges (turned out to be soot) near the outlet where difficult child 2's night light was plugged in. I asked him about it and he sheepishly told me that the plug was sort of pulled out a little, and he had laid his metal necklace across the prongs of the plug and then it made this blue light and then a loud pop and then his light went out.

Another time we found a burn mark on the laminate floor in his room. Apparently the light he had for the lizard cage that was in there was left on, sitting on the floor for a day or so. Needless to say, the lizards are now in the garage.

Can't leave him alone for a minute it would appear. Not yet anyway.

 

[susiestar]

Wiz did a little bit of fire play. He was really scared of it because he burned his finger a tiny bit, so it didn't last long.

JESS has been my firebug. Matches several years ago. Then it was candles. They were okay as long as the scent wasn't strong AND husband or I lit them. Then he gave her permission to light them one day. After that she thought she could anytime. GRRRR....

Now she is okay. I made her scrub, sand and touch up the finish on the entertainment center where the candles she lit with-o putting them in a candleholder burned down and scorched the ent. center. Or the jar candle burned down while sitting on the top and burned it. Either way, it took her several days.

Have you talked to the fire dept about ways to help with this? They are usually great.

 

[Andy]

Almost all kids go through a "fire" stage. Some kids take it a little too far (and some a lot too far) and have a hard time distinguishing the boundaries of fire safety.

For some kids what helps is finding appropriate places and times to light a candle. This is usually done after an unfortunate incident like your difficult child's because as parents, we don't usually know the fire bug has struck until there is an incident (kids hide things well if they go well) and can start with a discusssion such as, "Not everything goes the way we plan. You just found out how fast fire can get out of control and what a huge mess it makes. You were really lucky that a pile of papers was not closer or the entire room could have been up in flames quickly. I know you find it fasinating how matches work, most kids do. So, I would like to give you a chance to learn how to safely light a match. If you would like to do this, you have to be able to listen to and follow the safety rules. The first rule is you have to have a parent with you........."

For my difficult child, the place to light a candle is in the bathroom. He is learning about the need of something under the candle so countertops don't scorch. He has to ask me 1st and then he can light the jar candles in the bathroom. (door stays open while candle is being lit and burning)

When it is time to put the candle out, have difficult child do so. Part of fire safety is remembering that the candle is lit. Before leaving the house, difficult child can go into the bathroom just to make sure all candles are out.

If you difficult child asks to light a candle and you say no, let him know why "it is too close to the curtain, the cat can knock it over, we are leaving in a few minutes, ect." Try to make it a learning moment and not just a "no". Maybe offer a later time when you can supervise.

As with everything else, this is not an answer for all kids. It did work with mine.