O. M. G.

[Shari]

LOL, Terry. Nope, not at all. lol

However, it would be nice if she wouldn't yell at me for the junk.

In February, when I asked cultured difficult child if she'd told her mom the truth about why the work was missing (when she was asking to go camping with us), her mom didn't allow her to answer and yelled at me to get off cultured difficult child's back about it. At the time that I was yelled at, she still hadn't turned in even half of the missing assignments.

So, no, I don't expect her to ever praise anything I do...but when I hand it to her in black and white, it would be nice if she didn't twist reality to make it not so. Or, here's a novel idea, not yelling about it (or at least directing it at the appropriate party).

And while I'm dreaming....I'm going to add a beautiful white sand beach, and a hunky guy to bring me fruity drinks with little umbrellas, too....ahhhhh

 

[Shari]

Oh, I guess I can also add that this woman's older daughter (now 21) moved out when she was 13 BECAUSE of the way mom treated cultured difficult child. Even then, cultered difficult child did no wrong. The older daughter was at fault for EVERYTHING.

(and the ex husband figured it was cheaper to just continue to pay her child support AND raise the kid (with no help from her) than to fight her over ending the child support - he's now putting her thru college....alone.)

And I just looked out of curiosity - she currently has at least TWENTY ONE missing assignments. Thirteen of those are in math and science, and most are from the past 3 weeks. Yeah, she's a born difficult child...but things might be different if certain folks actually paid attention.

 

[susiestar]

Wonder how cgfg would be treated if Mommy dumbest suddenly had a baby with the newest husband? Methinks suddenly cgfg would be doing everything wrong. Talk about a sure-fire way to make gfgness set in. That switch would do it. Cause the new baby wouldn't talk back, fuss, cause problems, whatever. Heck, mom would probably want you and husband to take her most of the time - without giving up the support you pay or paying any herself.

 

[Shari]

And that, Dear Susie, is exactly what happened with older daughter... She wasn't a part of the perfect little family that was her, cgfg, and husband...and was treated as such.

Unfortunately, she's 42 now, so not likely to be another one (but yes, she'd send cgfg packing...) and this hubby has 3 kids of his own that he has a lot, so even if there was a new baby to make the perfect little family, his kids would be there to "ruin" it.

We have toyed with offering to take her and continuing to pay support, but honestly, I'm not sure I can deal with it. I know, that's so wrong. And its so ingrained now...I'm not sure we'd get on top of it. Particularly not with mom remaining innvolved, which she would be.

 

[AnnieO]

Shari... HUGS. CGFG may deep down know that. And that just makes things worse, really.

See that is what I am trying to make sure Onyxx will understand, and Jett too, if we do succeed in having a little one... That they are PART of it, not extraneous. NOT unnecessary. They're MY KIDS, too.

 

[susiestar]

Well, if she tosses this husband over in the next couple of years, watch out. Cause you will end up with cgfg. My exSIL was 43 when she had my niece. She was determined, at one time, to give bro the second child he wants so much. He has some bizarre notion that the family name will "die" if he has no son. We have a kazillion cousins with that last name, they just didn't live very close to us so he discounts them. Bro was SUCH a lousy husband that she got over that second child thing quick. THough she lost her first two sons when she married bro. She chose bro over them so they now will have almost nothing to do with her. She really did choose bro, she also damaged them in many other ways. So....

Just hope she waits a year or two and then ditches this husband. And that the new husband has kids already.

Any way that BM is involved will work to keep cgfg a cgfg. It is a shame.

 

[Shari]

One can hope.

But if she doesn't have any more independance than shehas in the past, I'm not banking on it. I'd sooner see this hubby leaving her, quite frankly. He's 30. She's 42. And does NOT share. I've heard her tell him the house and land is HERS, so that hasn't changed....

Regardless, it will be an interesting ride.