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Obesity/special event
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 740671" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>This is hard, but I suspect any kind of direct pushing/suggesting/offering to help is only going to backfire. It sounds like she is hypersensitive on the topic already. She knows she is overweight, and she knows her eating habits are unhealthy. Continually reminding an overweight person of these facts often just makes them feel worse about themselves and spiral into even worse habit - eg, I’m already a failure, why try? </p><p></p><p>Personally, I’d stay out of it. Model good habits, but don’t go overboard in drawing attention to that modeling. Keep it natural and nonchalant. If she’s interested and open, you can share what works for you, research you have read, or see if she’ll join you for some healthy exercise. But don’t push it if she’s not open. </p><p></p><p>And if she goes into hysterics? She goes into hysterics. And you ignore it, or practice sympathetic, non judgmental, calm responses. Oh, I’m so sorry you’re upset. I know finding clothes is tough. </p><p></p><p>There are more options now for larger women, especially online. I think I would put my energies into researching some of those options to have in your back pocket when the time comes. She will have to manage her weight and health on her own, but you can help her navigate finding something that she will feel confident in for the wedding. I think for anyone struggling with weight issues, building up confidence and reinforcing positive choices in a low-key way works better than direct suggestions or pushing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 740671, member: 23349"] This is hard, but I suspect any kind of direct pushing/suggesting/offering to help is only going to backfire. It sounds like she is hypersensitive on the topic already. She knows she is overweight, and she knows her eating habits are unhealthy. Continually reminding an overweight person of these facts often just makes them feel worse about themselves and spiral into even worse habit - eg, I’m already a failure, why try? Personally, I’d stay out of it. Model good habits, but don’t go overboard in drawing attention to that modeling. Keep it natural and nonchalant. If she’s interested and open, you can share what works for you, research you have read, or see if she’ll join you for some healthy exercise. But don’t push it if she’s not open. And if she goes into hysterics? She goes into hysterics. And you ignore it, or practice sympathetic, non judgmental, calm responses. Oh, I’m so sorry you’re upset. I know finding clothes is tough. There are more options now for larger women, especially online. I think I would put my energies into researching some of those options to have in your back pocket when the time comes. She will have to manage her weight and health on her own, but you can help her navigate finding something that she will feel confident in for the wedding. I think for anyone struggling with weight issues, building up confidence and reinforcing positive choices in a low-key way works better than direct suggestions or pushing. [/QUOTE]
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