We've struggled with our son, now 17, with ODD. He goes to school, gets decent grades, works a job (reluctantly), but we've struggled with pot from time to time. Last weekend, a friend's parents called us to pick him up after their car smelled like weed. We'll test him, but it'll come back positive. Lots of lies and deception. We can't let him drive our car - we live in state with a zero tolerance rule, and even if you're not high but have pot in your system, it's like a DUI. He just makes bad decisions and refuses to take responsibility for them (our problem, never his). With other kids, they make mistakes, you punish, you talk, maybe they make the same mistake again, but eventually they learn. Not this one. We're at our wits end. Not sure what to do next. We think that the pot is a symptom, not the problem. It's the ODD. Do we lock him down and hope he grows out of it, or do we do something else? We've taken him to a counselor a couple of times, but he refuses to talk.