Connie, welcome. I'm sorry things are so rough right now in your household.
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Sorry for the questions, but your answers will help us help you.
What kind of doctor diagnosed your son with ODD?
Is he taking any medications? If so, what?
How does he do in school, both academically and with peers?
Any mental health issues or substance abuse in the family tree?
In general, ODD is a diagnosis that rarely stands alone. The oppositional behaviors are typically a symptom of an underlying disorder (like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)). When the underlying disorder is identified and treated, the oppositional behaviors can then improve.
I agree with getting your hands on a copy of The Explosive Child. Great book!
Again, welcome.