Hi i am completely what seems to be computer illiterate. Looking to vent some frustrations about my 16 yo who without a doubt has odd. He has not been diagnosed officially due to many mess ups on my part along the way. Primarily denial. He has always been "different". Just from 2 years old strong willed and strong in body. Stubborn gazillions of time outs. By Kindergarten teachers were asking me to put him on medications but i angrily told them no! As a then single parent I was insulted and took it as a personal attack. Anyone who has been a single parent may be able to relate. Any how over the years of constant calls from school for bad behaviour over and over and over. I put him in private school in grade 2. He had to repeat the year as academically it was at a higher level than regular school system. Then he was kicked out for bad behaviour outbursts all the while he denied himself being the problem. Has almost always been extremely street smart and though i don't think stealing is much of a problem (though can't find my video camera at present) he has always had bad behaviour, not listening, worse listening when told no and is a pathological liar. He has constantly peed/pooped his pants even evidenced at 14- early 15. I had 1 other son when he was 4 (not with his bio dad) and noticed he was totally different. It's taken a long time to even acknowledge it is not my parenting style (tried everything from spanking to jelly fish parenting). With step dad on the scene things seems better for a little while. As his bio dad has visited with him probably less than 10 times in 16 years. But school behaviour continued he had changed schools 3 times over his life and each time hoping for a fresh start, problems continued to follow him. Moving to a new town with warning from old school about him now being in junior high he was in danger of possibly being kicked out of school. I homeschooled him for a year. What torture but at least no calls from school and more supervision. Put him back in which i now regret. He always had trouble keeping friends unless they were easily manipulated by him.Now a teen stronger in body will not cooperate. My husband insisted something was wrong with him after a long time of denial. i agreed and he put him on the children's hospital waiting list to be assessed. After much convincing (son's pediatrician is a quack) she gave us "permission" to put him on the list. As other avenues costed more money than we had this was our only hope. Though told it was over 1 year wait. Still have not heard back. Not a big fan of medication. My husband said something must be tried at least so finally at 14 yo i put him on strattera (suspected adhd as well) very little affect though he mentioned he could concentrate a little better at school. He complained of chills and he seemed so tired all the time i took him off of it. I guess my fear of medications though i am a nurse stopped me from experimenting with any more. and by then his cooperation with taking them was touch and go. Met wrong friends and has added smoking dope and alcohol to the mix. Cell phone was a big problem playing violent games and unsupervised chat caused us to take it away. after 3rd time buying a cellphone (bio dad wired him money) without permission husband took it away and he jumped him husband did not fight back but scuffled (had happened before and wanted to avoid accusations of child abuse) any how fiasco husband had a panic attack (which resembled heart attack) ambulance. Next day dear son went to an unstable parent of his friend and claimed child abuse! It has been a long process of children's aid which to date has resulted in us/me painfully saying shape up or ship out he has chosen to ship out as of late. He refused the counselling services and foster care option (since the home was too far away from dope toting friends) which is rarely offered to a 16 year old and prefers to now go stay with a friend whom undoubtedly he has corrupted the mind of the single dad he is now living with. CAS has counselled him on how to go about getting student welfare and they will soon be out of the picture. My son has created so many wedges with family my mom and sister pitting us against one another and many times myself vs husband cause of lies manipulation and twisting the truth especially.I am both venting and hoping that maybe someone who is sitting on the fence wondering maybe i am just not parenting properly would see that it is better to look into this stuff when they are young and will be more likely to follow treatment. I feel like we all lost out on a better family environment. Especially him. We do have peace in the home now, but i still have guilt and sadness that my little boy is out on his own. And despite all the pain disrespect lies manipulation control he has sent my way I love him dearly and hope he will one day acknowledge he has a problem and to allow himself to be treated. I get sad now seeing that people have had relief in their family of a 5 year old child with odd and regret not getting and pushing for the help that could have made our family very different.