off shoot of 'telling' post

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lordhelpme, May 2, 2007.

  1. lordhelpme

    lordhelpme New Member

    some said they don't tell cuz it is no ones business and to an extent ita.

    but don't you feel that the more it is talked about as a whole and some of the stigma of mental health was lessened that more might be done to help our difficult children?

    we are like an underground society that you don't know you belong to until someone else lets slip that they are in the same boat.

    i sometimes want to shout from the rooftops that my son has a mood disorder and no one is informed enough to help! or to some of the parents that are ready to critize instead of understand i would like to say "hey instead of condeming my'bad kid' how about praying for him to be well".

    if the law isn't allowing us to lockup our 'secret kids' anymore why should we still hide them.

    i guess it is my warrior mom personality and maybe i need to consider my difficult child's feeling right now but cuz he is so outwardly a difficult child i think a little understanding would go a long way.
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I like your Q, "Instead of condemning my bad kid, how about praying for him to be well?"
    I'd say that to everyone! Why just think it?
    It puts the ball in their court.

    I am careful in re: to whom I confide in precisely because people are uninformed, and they spread rumors. I like to apply the "ask him" rule we learned through adoption: if someone starts talking to me about difficult child and his adoption story, his bmom, racial point of view, etc., instead of talking about it in front of him (especially since he's old enough now) I point to him and say, "Why don't you ask him?"
    Sometimes people are taken aback and stop talking right there. Other times, they ask nicely and he will reply. Yet other times he'll say, "I don't want to talk about it."
    The person will give me a bewildered look and I will shrug my shoulders and say, "Well, if he doesn't want to talk about it, it's his choice."

    He's got a good instinct for the diff between those who really care, and busybodies.

  3. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    colleen, it is a shame that any physical handicap can get you some sympathy and help. mental health help still has some stigma to it I think, mostly because it is so misunderstood and they havent figured it out yet.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I understand what you mean. There is still much stigma with mental illness. I've been fortunate that I have some friends that really get it and thank goodness for this place. We have been very open with the schools which until this year has been very beneficial. With my difficult child it's hard to hide that something is going on. There are others who I am more guarded around because I don't trust them.