Well, I went into Mr. sp ed admin (for newbies...his school has a principal who is an a55, a vp who is a jerk, and an admin assistant who is actually a good guy but push comes to shove goes with admin of course....he specifically does discipline with sp needs kids and often does really well with Q and will negotiate and listen to me... but he has been taken out of the loop lately decision wise, surprise)...
I told him that this was a stupid decision (I can talk freely with him) and that it is dangerous outside (I spun out on the way at 20 mph. ) he said well, we decided this is how we would do it right? I said, no we decided if he could not CALM then we would have him go home on that day. We specifically said he would stay in school because that is the whole point of his behavior plan.. to learn to calm when he is overly wound up. So, this means he calms then is punished even when he calms.... go figure he doesn't give a rip. We said if it was serious then he could have some time in the inschool suspension room to continue to do school work.
I asked why they think this was the right thing to do... because other kids saw it? They said yes. I said so this is to make an example of him? they said yes. He admitted that is what the admin told them was the reason he had to go home. You mean if you dont do this all the other kids will start pushing their teachers???? They are grades 6-8. Crazy. This is about htem looking like they are tough and in charge.
He said he had to go to the lunch room and I said not yet. (yeah me) I said I am tired of this. I will go get my car and HE can go get Q and bring him out. I want him to talk him nicely into coming to my car because we need to break up the automatic pattern of his seeing me and freaking out because the only time he sees me there now is when he is in trouble (after two years of volunteering there and we were up to his actually coming up to me and giving me a hug. ARRRGGG...
So, he sent him out and Q got in the car fine and came home perfectly well.
They are jerks. and I have no sympathy for them. They said, well Q said he wanted to hurt her and that he was going to do it again. I said, he said that before or AFTER? He ALWAYS acts like he does any mistake on purpose and he even has told several people that he gives up and is gonna make people think he is not stupid and that he can control it all and is making a choice. He actually has said that several times. I asked in the car if he did it on purpose. He said no but I told them I did. I asked why and he said because they were mad.
I explained that if he accidentally pushed too hard, (he runs up to people all excited and does this..ug) he needs to quickly, right away say sorry and help them up and explain that you didn't mean to do it that hard and then you also need to remember NO TOUCHING anyone anytime so this does not happen. He said I told her sorry later when I calmed down. I said but they are only talking about what you said at first. SO, the principal thinks you really did do it on purpose. He said, OH. Well I didn't so I will tell her again tomorrow. I explained I didn't think that would help any but he can try. SOmehow he has to figure out how to be calm or they have to realize he needs help.
This kid is gonna give me a stroke and these people are gonna bury me.
(by the way she just lost her balance and fell she is not hurt or anything not like he attacked her, not that it is ok...he knows I am NOT happy about his doing that and he is under normal before school rules, can only read or do math or legos etc... which he made NO arguments about.)
( Hope he feels better soon and is able to be calm .....((HUGS!!)) to you and him.
