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Substance Abuse
Oh how naive I have been.....
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 476815" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, as the mother of an ex-drug abuser, I can tell you he is getting drugs from many sources and you can not stop him from using drugs. Perhaps he will stop at the TBS. If not, you need to detach and realize that the only one who can make him stop using is himself. It did help my daughter to relocate because she WANTED to quit and the kids around here would harass her, even threaten her...so she felt she couldn't. But if he is not interested in quitting, relocating won't work because there are many, many drug users everywhere.</p><p></p><p>This is the harsh reality in which many of us live. We can insist they go for help or into a rehab or to a psychiatrist, but we can't make them want to stop. That doesn't mean he won't decide to quit. My daughter did. It means that it is best if, while he is at TBS, you go for therapy for youself, and definitely go to a Narc-Anon or Al-Anon group for support from others who have been there, learn to take care of yourself, and concentrate of the people in your life who are positive and caring. You have got to take care of YOU. It may seem like your life is over because your child is using drugs, but he is a separate person from you. And you are good for nobody if you don't take care of yourself. </p><p></p><p>Even now, it is a good idea to start to detach. Rash decisions will not change his drug usage. Do what you can to keep him in your sight as much as you can. But we homeschooled Daughter and she still found a way (God knows how) to take drugs. One day she saw her friend with track marks up and down her arms (I had no idea she had friends like this let alone that she was taking meth, snorting anything she could, and had even tried heroin (no, you do not automatically get addicted by trying it once). Once she quit, she told us everything. The friend with the track marks on her arms was the last straw for her. She saw that as her future and decided she would NOT be that person. After a few attempts at quitting and finally being told she couldn't live with us (she went to live with her straight arrow brother) she did quit. </p><p></p><p>There is always hope and you have to hang onto that. But don't expect a fast solution. It's a long, hard road, and your son has to decide that drugs are not for him. You can not make him stop. Please take my suggestions on how to help yourself. Really...it will make the sad journey more bearable.</p><p></p><p>(((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 476815, member: 1550"] Well, as the mother of an ex-drug abuser, I can tell you he is getting drugs from many sources and you can not stop him from using drugs. Perhaps he will stop at the TBS. If not, you need to detach and realize that the only one who can make him stop using is himself. It did help my daughter to relocate because she WANTED to quit and the kids around here would harass her, even threaten her...so she felt she couldn't. But if he is not interested in quitting, relocating won't work because there are many, many drug users everywhere. This is the harsh reality in which many of us live. We can insist they go for help or into a rehab or to a psychiatrist, but we can't make them want to stop. That doesn't mean he won't decide to quit. My daughter did. It means that it is best if, while he is at TBS, you go for therapy for youself, and definitely go to a Narc-Anon or Al-Anon group for support from others who have been there, learn to take care of yourself, and concentrate of the people in your life who are positive and caring. You have got to take care of YOU. It may seem like your life is over because your child is using drugs, but he is a separate person from you. And you are good for nobody if you don't take care of yourself. Even now, it is a good idea to start to detach. Rash decisions will not change his drug usage. Do what you can to keep him in your sight as much as you can. But we homeschooled Daughter and she still found a way (God knows how) to take drugs. One day she saw her friend with track marks up and down her arms (I had no idea she had friends like this let alone that she was taking meth, snorting anything she could, and had even tried heroin (no, you do not automatically get addicted by trying it once). Once she quit, she told us everything. The friend with the track marks on her arms was the last straw for her. She saw that as her future and decided she would NOT be that person. After a few attempts at quitting and finally being told she couldn't live with us (she went to live with her straight arrow brother) she did quit. There is always hope and you have to hang onto that. But don't expect a fast solution. It's a long, hard road, and your son has to decide that drugs are not for him. You can not make him stop. Please take my suggestions on how to help yourself. Really...it will make the sad journey more bearable. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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