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Substance Abuse
Oh how naive I have been.....
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<blockquote data-quote="thomasc" data-source="post: 478450" data-attributes="member: 13098"><p>I didn't realize "Therapeutic" boarding schools were such a popular option here. I understand you would only choose such an option as a last resort - but please don't. Nobody, no matter what they have done, belongs in one of these places. They are only after your money and aren't interested in helping your kid. As someone who has been in such a place I feel obligated to tell you that abuse is the norm in these settings because the people who work in them know they can get away with it. Who is going to listen to some druggie kid whose own parents didn't even want him? The best you can do for you child is get real help for his problems. He might have an addiction, it might just be his peer group, and he almost certainly has some psychological issues (very likely including depression) that real, NON COERCIVE, therapy could help with. Perhaps there's a relative willing to take him on in exchange for rent so he can start going to therapy regularly? He'd probably be glad to get away from you at this point, anyway. Because of the lack of trust in your relationship it might be better to have someone neutral talk with him about his current options for you. Letting anger into this isn't going to help anyone, you care about him and don't want to see him making bad decisions that are going to effect his life permanently. I don't know what you've already tried, but please don't go down this route. The "educational consultant" you talk to on the phone is going to get a referral fee for whatever program you end up choosing. For my program that equated to the first month's tuition, or $3,000. They don't care about you or your child. Parents who are at their wits end and feel like they need to make an immediate decision are easy targets. Your child isn't going to change until he wants to, and physically forcing it upon him is going to change his behavior without changing his mind. I wouldn't wish my experience on anyone, and what I hope I can show parents is that my program wasn't the exception, it was the rule. I'm willing to talk about my experience and point you to relevant websites/news articles/congressional hearings about TBS / Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Really I would do anything to keep another kid from having go through what I went through, and another family from being torn apart the way mine was. I'd even be willing to talk to your son (or find another survivor/former "difficult child" who acted in a similar manner as a teenager to do the same)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="thomasc, post: 478450, member: 13098"] I didn't realize "Therapeutic" boarding schools were such a popular option here. I understand you would only choose such an option as a last resort - but please don't. Nobody, no matter what they have done, belongs in one of these places. They are only after your money and aren't interested in helping your kid. As someone who has been in such a place I feel obligated to tell you that abuse is the norm in these settings because the people who work in them know they can get away with it. Who is going to listen to some druggie kid whose own parents didn't even want him? The best you can do for you child is get real help for his problems. He might have an addiction, it might just be his peer group, and he almost certainly has some psychological issues (very likely including depression) that real, NON COERCIVE, therapy could help with. Perhaps there's a relative willing to take him on in exchange for rent so he can start going to therapy regularly? He'd probably be glad to get away from you at this point, anyway. Because of the lack of trust in your relationship it might be better to have someone neutral talk with him about his current options for you. Letting anger into this isn't going to help anyone, you care about him and don't want to see him making bad decisions that are going to effect his life permanently. I don't know what you've already tried, but please don't go down this route. The "educational consultant" you talk to on the phone is going to get a referral fee for whatever program you end up choosing. For my program that equated to the first month's tuition, or $3,000. They don't care about you or your child. Parents who are at their wits end and feel like they need to make an immediate decision are easy targets. Your child isn't going to change until he wants to, and physically forcing it upon him is going to change his behavior without changing his mind. I wouldn't wish my experience on anyone, and what I hope I can show parents is that my program wasn't the exception, it was the rule. I'm willing to talk about my experience and point you to relevant websites/news articles/congressional hearings about TBS / Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Really I would do anything to keep another kid from having go through what I went through, and another family from being torn apart the way mine was. I'd even be willing to talk to your son (or find another survivor/former "difficult child" who acted in a similar manner as a teenager to do the same) [/QUOTE]
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