OH I must vent

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Kjs, Sep 23, 2010.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    ok, so my job was outsourced in June. If I wanted a job I had to travel 65 miles one way in stop and go traffic making the ONE way trip sometimes over 2 hours.
    Not to mention the affect on my car - which isn't going to last long with this commute.

    But, I chose to have a job because I was terrified of how we would survive.
    husband has bulging discs in his back as well as knees that are bone on bone and he can hardly walk. He makes **** at his job and would get more on disability if he would appy. But he refuses.

    He goes to work (7-3) and comes home. yet all the doctor appointments for all of us I have to make. Which means for difficult child it is right now at 4 doctors a week and every two weeks 5 appts. I have to pay the bills, I have to figure out how, when and who will do repairs. I pay the insurance and everything else.

    so, I applied for SSI for difficult child. With all OUR (husband and I) medical bills, not even counting difficult child's, as well as all the monthly bills we just cannot afford to bring difficult child to specialists, and can barely scrape by with the medical bills now and medications. (Abilify is over $100 out of pocket a month). After filling out the hours of paperwork I am told that we are over the monthly income limit. I am SO mad. So, if I would not have taken this job out of town then he would qualify. If husband would apply, difficult child would qualify. But no. I have to look at my son every day and know I cannot afford to help him. Because of me.

    Yet..I have a neighbor who has a much bigger house, who has 6 kids under age 11. She home schools all. She told me that "we always wanted a large family".
    Ok...so she gets her house insulated for free, free cell phone, food stamps, energy assistance, medical assistance and the youngest has a medical problem so get SSI for her. All this because they "chose" to have a large family, which they cannot afford and do not pay for. Yet she can TELL me how I should raise difficult child.

    And difficult child was with me for this appointment. I was very angry. I cried because I so want to help him and just cannot afford it. difficult child knows lots of kids who get everything free. He said he is proud that his parents work. I just sat and cried. It is SO not fair.
    And last night one of his teachers sent home a paper saying they are studying our government and parents should get the kids involved in government topics. I was so angry I just looked at him and said, well...this is how our government works. If I chose not to take this job 65 miles away, I would be home. I wouldn't be working night shift and up 24 hours and be away from home. Plus he would get SSI. But because I chose to work, we have nothing and cannot afford better medical help.

    Wonderful government. Just wonderful.
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    ((((hugs)))) I know it stinks....

    But I wanted to share something with you.

    My family and I have lived an economic roller-coaster. We have been comfortable middle-class - living in a nice house, nice neighborhood, nice cars, nice savings account , and having nice things.....and we have been POOR - no I don't mean "poor" like we had to cut back on our maid service...I mean POOR like going to the food pantry and falling on our knees grateful that somebody had donated an extra-large can of yams.

    Let me tell you - being in a position to qualify for services SUCKS!!!! It is terrible!

    Yes, you get Medicaid....but not too many doctors or dentists will take it and you get stuck going to clinics.

    Yes, you get food stamps...which is a big help - but they don't pay for OTC medicine or toilet paper or soap or any of those little household things that become HUGELY expensive once you have no money.

    And people treat you like dirt. They mutter nasty things as they stand behind you in line at the grocery store. They make you feel like a worthless human being...or some kind of criminal because you get "all this stuff for free".


    And just for the record, because your child is only 15 years old - you can get him covered under SCHIP. The insurance is specifically designed for families who make too much money to qualify for Medicaid. Eligibility varies by state - but some states will cover children (with a small premium of $15 to $25 per month) from families whose income is up to 300 times the Federal Poverty Rate (which is more than $65,000 for a family of four).

    That should take care of prescriptions and specialists and doctor/dentist visits.
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2010
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Is your husband difficult child's bio father? When I applied for Medi-Cal for Miss KT, she was eligible because her bio parents were divorced, and they didn't count Hubby's income as the stepfather.

    I do understand the frustration you feel...back in '96, I'd just bought my house, on a first-time, low-income buyer's program, and lost my job. I didn't qualify for ANYTHING...because my Geo Metro, that I had purchased used and paid for outright, was worth too much. However, if I wanted to refinance the car, then I could possibly get some help. How stupid is that...sure, I'll start making car payments on a car I already own, when I don't have a job, all for the possibility that I'll get some assistance. No thank you.

    Since Hubby and I have been married, it's been either feast or famine. At any given time, it seems that one of us has been unemployed...ten years of this roller coaster. The government has no safety net in place for people...they wait until you have nothing before help is available. It's not right.
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Hugs... I know exactly how you feel... We would qualify for reduced price lunches, but the child support we DO get pushes us over the limit by about $1 a month.

    We don't qualify for SCHIP, either. Not here. BM has insurance on the kids, but we're not privy to much about it (like what it covers!) because she refuses to give us the information. We've requested it - and they send the info to her - not husband.

    But you know what? Yes, difficult child needs help, and you cannot afford it because you DO work. (Lemme tell ya, though - quit your job voluntarily, and you won't get much...) But it's not your fault - because - if you did NOT work, you wouldn't eat.

    Honestly? husband needs to get disability. (Tell him - if not for himself - for difficult child.)

    Also, many local churches will help. It's hard to swallow your pride, but...

    One last thing - Angel Food Ministries rocks for cheaper food...
  5. ctmom05

    ctmom05 Member

    I'm curious; you said

    "so, I applied for SSI for difficult child. With all OUR (husband and I) medical bills, not even counting difficult child's, as well as all the monthly bills we just cannot afford to bring difficult child to specialists, and can barely scrape by with the medical bills now and medications. .. .. .. If husband would apply, difficult child would qualify."

    Why would husband's app influence whether difficult child would qualify for SSI?

    KJS - how the systems mesh together or even how just one of them works is made so complex for folks who need help to understand. It's maddening. Because of this many deserving folks slip thru the cracks.
  6. Mamaof5

    Mamaof5 Guest

    Could you ask the boss to cut your pay or downgrade your pay by that 100 dollars? Then re-apply? I know, sneaky but you know something...I would appeal too. SSI\ODSP (our version of SSI is ODSP or Ontario Disabilities Pension..don't remember what the S is) usually deny the first go around as a rule of thumb to "save money" for the fed gov....
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    It works that way for us here - if one family member gets social security, the children of that person qualify too.

    I also vote for appealing. Often the knockback is automatic, and you can find grounds for appeal. But what you get is often not up to much.

  8. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hey! GFgcan should be able to get medicaid. We were over the limit but because of his medical issues, we applied for difficult child 1 and they had us apply as an independent. Since he's 11 there was no income so he automatically applied. There would be no copays for your difficult child once he gets medicaid. I'm going to dig around in Wisconsin googles and see if I can come up with anything.

    by the way, I personally think that husband needs to put the family before his misplaced pride and see what a disservice he's doing. Any way you slice it, the stress that you're under is going to shorten your lifespan - does he really want to be the one dealing with difficult child as the only parent because they put you in an early grave? A little dramatic? Yes. Good line o' guilt to throw his way? Absolutely! :devil:

    I'll fiddle and let you know if I find anything out!

  9. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Ok, here we go:


    Pay special attention to the "Children with Special Health Care Needs".


    This one had a ton of different resources/links that could help you out.


    More links

    Here's what I typed in for the search (there were a lot of sites listed, so I don't know if you want to keep digging!): free parent advocate programs + wisconsin

    Let me know if this helps or if you want me to dig some more!


  10. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    thanks. I'll be checking that out. I was not aware. I am out of town working, so I'll check what I can. I appreciate your help.