ok, so my job was outsourced in June. If I wanted a job I had to travel 65 miles one way in stop and go traffic making the ONE way trip sometimes over 2 hours. Not to mention the affect on my car - which isn't going to last long with this commute. But, I chose to have a job because I was terrified of how we would survive. husband has bulging discs in his back as well as knees that are bone on bone and he can hardly walk. He makes **** at his job and would get more on disability if he would appy. But he refuses. He goes to work (7-3) and comes home. yet all the doctor appointments for all of us I have to make. Which means for difficult child it is right now at 4 doctors a week and every two weeks 5 appts. I have to pay the bills, I have to figure out how, when and who will do repairs. I pay the insurance and everything else. so, I applied for SSI for difficult child. With all OUR (husband and I) medical bills, not even counting difficult child's, as well as all the monthly bills we just cannot afford to bring difficult child to specialists, and can barely scrape by with the medical bills now and medications. (Abilify is over $100 out of pocket a month). After filling out the hours of paperwork I am told that we are over the monthly income limit. I am SO mad. So, if I would not have taken this job out of town then he would qualify. If husband would apply, difficult child would qualify. But no. I have to look at my son every day and know I cannot afford to help him. Because of me. Yet..I have a neighbor who has a much bigger house, who has 6 kids under age 11. She home schools all. She told me that "we always wanted a large family". Ok...so she gets her house insulated for free, free cell phone, food stamps, energy assistance, medical assistance and the youngest has a medical problem so get SSI for her. All this because they "chose" to have a large family, which they cannot afford and do not pay for. Yet she can TELL me how I should raise difficult child. And difficult child was with me for this appointment. I was very angry. I cried because I so want to help him and just cannot afford it. difficult child knows lots of kids who get everything free. He said he is proud that his parents work. I just sat and cried. It is SO not fair. And last night one of his teachers sent home a paper saying they are studying our government and parents should get the kids involved in government topics. I was so angry I just looked at him and said, well...this is how our government works. If I chose not to take this job 65 miles away, I would be home. I wouldn't be working night shift and up 24 hours and be away from home. Plus he would get SSI. But because I chose to work, we have nothing and cannot afford better medical help. Wonderful government. Just wonderful.