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OH THE SHAME - I'm done.
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 192659" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Thinking more, and reading responses... The only one who should feel shame in this is Dude. You raised him better than this, even if he did have a lot of odds against him. He did these things, not you. He should feel the shame of it and he does not.</p><p></p><p>I love you, Starbie, but I'm going to get tough for a minute. I know you will understand, because you would say the same to any of us.</p><p></p><p>As to an earlier question on an earlier post about the PD, yes, whoever points the finger first gets charged with the lesser crime. Even if they recant later. You are not the only one who has noticed that while Dude sometimes may not have done what he has been charged with, he has done a lot of really crummy things. Sometimes you get away with it, and sometimes they get you for the crime you didn't commit. Either way, it caught up with him.</p><p></p><p>Could you fight it? There are very few attorneys out there who would care to help you do this. There are more that would take your money, but essentially you would have to find someone who excelled in the Juvie PD department then moved on to private practice, has connections, and thought Dude deserved it. Hiring a private attorney would be a waste of your time and money. While Dude <em>may have</em> been looking for a job, he didn't come to your house and mow the lawn or clean out gutters or trim hedges. He was goofing around with pit bull puppies, leaky canoes, and jumping people's fences to destroy their property. People like you, who gave him a chance.</p><p></p><p>Is Dude going to get 15 years? Maybe. But I would imagine that they will matrix him out way before that. Even when they say they are going to throw away the key, they don't have the space or the money for this piddling stuff. You need to tell Dude that he has used up his last chance with you, and he needs to do his best to prepare himself for release on parole after his sentence is up. Take some welding or mechanics classes in prison. Get his GED. </p><p></p><p>I know that your heart is aching, but mortgaging your house isn't going to change what is happening. It's too late. He has had months and months to get his act together, and while many things happened that didn't help, he was not at all proactive in changing his circumstances. You were. To no avail. Because all in all, Dude wasn't invested in it. He was invested in letting the chips fall where they may, and look where they landed. </p><p></p><p>Big hugs, girlfriend. It is what it is, and you aren't in control any more.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 192659, member: 99"] Thinking more, and reading responses... The only one who should feel shame in this is Dude. You raised him better than this, even if he did have a lot of odds against him. He did these things, not you. He should feel the shame of it and he does not. I love you, Starbie, but I'm going to get tough for a minute. I know you will understand, because you would say the same to any of us. As to an earlier question on an earlier post about the PD, yes, whoever points the finger first gets charged with the lesser crime. Even if they recant later. You are not the only one who has noticed that while Dude sometimes may not have done what he has been charged with, he has done a lot of really crummy things. Sometimes you get away with it, and sometimes they get you for the crime you didn't commit. Either way, it caught up with him. Could you fight it? There are very few attorneys out there who would care to help you do this. There are more that would take your money, but essentially you would have to find someone who excelled in the Juvie PD department then moved on to private practice, has connections, and thought Dude deserved it. Hiring a private attorney would be a waste of your time and money. While Dude [i]may have[/i] been looking for a job, he didn't come to your house and mow the lawn or clean out gutters or trim hedges. He was goofing around with pit bull puppies, leaky canoes, and jumping people's fences to destroy their property. People like you, who gave him a chance. Is Dude going to get 15 years? Maybe. But I would imagine that they will matrix him out way before that. Even when they say they are going to throw away the key, they don't have the space or the money for this piddling stuff. You need to tell Dude that he has used up his last chance with you, and he needs to do his best to prepare himself for release on parole after his sentence is up. Take some welding or mechanics classes in prison. Get his GED. I know that your heart is aching, but mortgaging your house isn't going to change what is happening. It's too late. He has had months and months to get his act together, and while many things happened that didn't help, he was not at all proactive in changing his circumstances. You were. To no avail. Because all in all, Dude wasn't invested in it. He was invested in letting the chips fall where they may, and look where they landed. Big hugs, girlfriend. It is what it is, and you aren't in control any more. [/QUOTE]
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