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Parent Emeritus
Oh where do I begin? New here.
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 634226" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>My heart,</p><p></p><p>I am very sorry you had to join our club, but it is good you are here and speaking up. I feel for your story...it is one many of us share. Your son's stubborn downward trajectory is so sad and so hard on you and your family. It is almost a blessing he has spoken, and told you that he won't fit in.</p><p></p><p>You can't fix him. I know you know that. Your work is to keep yourself whole and healthy, to not let your life go down the drain just because right now it looks like his is. What good would that do? It doesn't save him, it is bad for you, and it will hurt your husband and other three kids...</p><p></p><p>Try to start with you. Talk to your own therapist. Go to Nar-anon. Read and post on the board every day. Go for a 20 minute walk every day and deliberately breath away any thoughts of him. Start making your life your own.</p><p></p><p>It is a sad thing to contemplate and yet you will feel better as you start to re-emerge. We weren't meant to parent adults. We can't fix everything that goes wrong. If he were hit by a car and mangled you couldn't fix his broken body. You can't fix his broken mind either. You still have a place in the world, things to do, things to experience. Take a small step today towards getting there, and another step tomorrow. And keep posting.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you,</p><p></p><p>Echolette</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 634226, member: 17269"] My heart, I am very sorry you had to join our club, but it is good you are here and speaking up. I feel for your story...it is one many of us share. Your son's stubborn downward trajectory is so sad and so hard on you and your family. It is almost a blessing he has spoken, and told you that he won't fit in. You can't fix him. I know you know that. Your work is to keep yourself whole and healthy, to not let your life go down the drain just because right now it looks like his is. What good would that do? It doesn't save him, it is bad for you, and it will hurt your husband and other three kids... Try to start with you. Talk to your own therapist. Go to Nar-anon. Read and post on the board every day. Go for a 20 minute walk every day and deliberately breath away any thoughts of him. Start making your life your own. It is a sad thing to contemplate and yet you will feel better as you start to re-emerge. We weren't meant to parent adults. We can't fix everything that goes wrong. If he were hit by a car and mangled you couldn't fix his broken body. You can't fix his broken mind either. You still have a place in the world, things to do, things to experience. Take a small step today towards getting there, and another step tomorrow. And keep posting. Hugs to you, Echolette [/QUOTE]
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