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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 634260" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>My son was born a true difficult child and life was a nightmare from the very day he started school. He is gifted and hated school. A common thread our difficult children share is the disdain they have of 'normal' society.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child is in a long term relationship with another female difficult child that is just like him, maybe worse in my opinion lol, except he is a follower and she is controlling. She has cut off all contact with his friends and family, and he let her! I had to call the police to stop her harassment, so at least I don't have that to deal with.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child was big on me supporting him for the rest of his life and became worse after he met girlie. He was working before her, but after meeting her work interfered with them being groupies and following a certain band around.</p><p></p><p>The stress affected my health and I knew I had to make changes in our relationship. When I stopped the money he threatened suicide and went no contact for a little over a year. He has contacted me since and I hear from him by email, short lines not much, every few months.</p><p></p><p>Read everything you can about enabling, entitlement, addiction, anything to help YOU. Until THEY are ready to help themselves there is zero you can do.</p><p></p><p>I know people living on the streets, heavy drug users, that have turned their lives around and have careers and a family living good lives.</p><p></p><p>I pray for all of us that our difficult children will get tired of their lifestyle and get help. For my difficult child, I never give up hope, but I don't hold my breath. There is the sadness, but my life is so much less stressful than when I was trying to 'fix him'.</p><p></p><p>Find things you enjoy and do anything (that's legal lol) to focus on you and taking care of you. One biggie for me was not sharing with my opinionated family about difficult child's struggles. Many close relatives liked to gossip about what I did and did not do to create this situation. I can beat myself up enough with out that!</p><p></p><p>Let go of the guilt, what has happened has happened and you can't change the past. You also can not change anyone but yourself.</p><p></p><p>It's so very hard, no one deserves this.</p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 634260, member: 13558"] My son was born a true difficult child and life was a nightmare from the very day he started school. He is gifted and hated school. A common thread our difficult children share is the disdain they have of 'normal' society. My difficult child is in a long term relationship with another female difficult child that is just like him, maybe worse in my opinion lol, except he is a follower and she is controlling. She has cut off all contact with his friends and family, and he let her! I had to call the police to stop her harassment, so at least I don't have that to deal with. My difficult child was big on me supporting him for the rest of his life and became worse after he met girlie. He was working before her, but after meeting her work interfered with them being groupies and following a certain band around. The stress affected my health and I knew I had to make changes in our relationship. When I stopped the money he threatened suicide and went no contact for a little over a year. He has contacted me since and I hear from him by email, short lines not much, every few months. Read everything you can about enabling, entitlement, addiction, anything to help YOU. Until THEY are ready to help themselves there is zero you can do. I know people living on the streets, heavy drug users, that have turned their lives around and have careers and a family living good lives. I pray for all of us that our difficult children will get tired of their lifestyle and get help. For my difficult child, I never give up hope, but I don't hold my breath. There is the sadness, but my life is so much less stressful than when I was trying to 'fix him'. Find things you enjoy and do anything (that's legal lol) to focus on you and taking care of you. One biggie for me was not sharing with my opinionated family about difficult child's struggles. Many close relatives liked to gossip about what I did and did not do to create this situation. I can beat myself up enough with out that! Let go of the guilt, what has happened has happened and you can't change the past. You also can not change anyone but yourself. It's so very hard, no one deserves this. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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