I am glad you saw her and that you shared hugs and love. I think the hardest part is trying to maintain the balance between having them in your life without crossing the enabling boundary. And as parents, I think we get very cautious that our unconditional love for them can translate into acceptance/approval of their choices. I'm not sure how we can actively disengage from their bad choices while trying to stay connected. But I do know in my heart that it's worth a shot.
"I'm here, I love you, I hate what you're doing with your life and I won't support it or enable it, (and for g-d's sake, could you PLEASE come to your senses!!!) but I also won't give up on you and I will always love you 110% ...even if it has to be from a distance"
What's the alternative? Walking away? Or the opposite-pretend its all rosy? I have to believe that the tough work of giving unconditional love WITHOUT enabling will make a difference someday. Even if only in our own lives.
That's why we're here, I think. It's the common bond among the SA moms. Loving our children and hating their lifestyles. And looking for balance. Tough love is toughest on us. {{hugs}}