oh yea, my day just gets better

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Nancy423, Dec 13, 2008.

  1. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    went downstairs and saw the mail on the table. The top letter is a lovely request from the PO wanting a meeting right after xmas, first week school is back in session. This is in response to difficult child's arrest after her shoving/biting incident before Tgiving. So now she's going to miss another day of school for this ****.

    Short story: difficult child got caught by the substitute passing notes in class. She ran out of the room (written in IEP, is ok) and the sub went after her and gave her the choice of going back to class or notifying the office of this offense. When difficult child didn't answer, teacher went back into room toward phone. difficult child aparantly either shoved/pushed teacher and they both ended up on the ground. Then after teacher restrained her, difficult child bit. Teacher signs complaint, and difficult child is handcuffed and fingerprinted.

    Can anyone tell me what to expect at this meeting? Should I be bringing anything? papers? IEP's? a lawyer???
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh, I'd definitely be bringing up the IEP. I don't know how much it will help- but in my opinion, it proves the need to have that accommodation in there.

    You've really had enough already this week...try to find a little time for yourself...

    :wine: :bath: :sleeping:
  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Certainly bring up the IEP and make it clear - if the IEP had been followed, then none of this would have happened.

    I am a STRONG believer in not punishing a child for what they cannot control. A difficult child who is known to need certain strategies in place or else they will have exactly this kind of problem, and who is NOT handled with those strategies - as far as I am concerned, the consequences should all be on the school. difficult child did the wrong thing, of course, and needs to be made thoroughly aware; but she was set up for failure and the sort of punishment the law provides is NOT what difficult child needs in order to learn better control.

    Example: A profoundly autistic child is sensitive to touch and phobic about being touched, it's written in the child's IEP to NOT touch the child unless needed for urgent safety reasons.
    One day a staff member who thinks she knows better walks up to that child and gives him a hug. The boy responds first by going stiff and then by lashing out with fists, teeth, claws, whatever, in a panic to make this person stop touching him. The teacher gets injured. But who is responsible? If the teacher did not know, does this make the child more liable? Of course not. The liability rests with the person who DID know and who had the responsibility of keeping the child safe, of ensuring the IEP is followed and also ensuring that all staff are aware of the rules and will follow them.
    Punishing the child in that case achieves absolutely nothing.

    The main difference between my example and your daughter, is merely a matter of degree. Your daughter may be more high-functioning, but it WAS a foreseen situation, the school has it in the IEP, the IEP was not followed, the consequences of the IEP not being followed were exactly what was predicted would happen (hence the need for the IEP) and the school staff's subsequent actions escalated what already should not have happened.

  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I say bring the IEP and an attorney or sp ed advocate. I TOTALLY agree that you do NOT punish a child for something that is part of their illness. Needing to leave the class is part of what your child needs to handle school.

    It is NOT your child's fault that no one told the sub. IF the sub is deemed worthy of seeing the children's work for the day, dealing with their issues for the day (ALL the kids, not just yours) then the sub should be deemed worthy of knowing about BIPs, IEPs, etc...

    I KNOW it is hard to keep everyone straight if you are a sub. But it isn't the CHILD'S job to tell you that they have an IEP that allows X, Y or Z. It is the administrators.

    So if ANYONE goes to juvy, or gets community service, or any other type of service, it should dang well be the administrator who didn't give this sub a head's up.

    This is just ONE reason why I think EVERY classroom should have a teacher and an aide. I have thought it for a long time. I know budgets don't have room for it, but it would let one person be out sick and the rest of the kids and subs wouldn't ahve to suffer for it.

    Want me to come and plant a big ole foot in the tushie of the administrator who decided that your difficult child didn't need her IEP that day?

    Whatever you do - take a witness if you can't get an attorney, and take a TAPE RECORDER and record EVERYTHING that is said. Videorecorder if you don't have tape recorder.

    I am so sorry.
  5. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    Thing is, how much influence does the parole officer have on anything? And why are we assigned to one before any case has been heard? And in showing this info to him, what does that mean for my case? Shouldn't all that go to the lawyer??

    I think I need to find a Special Education lawyer eh?