klmno
Active Member
ticked off this therapist. We went to the therapist the afternoon that I refer to as "Mr. go-in circles". He did his typical "how are things" and I repsonded that there are some frustrations and issues. I said difficult child has his own but mine have a lot to do with not being further along in therapy. He asked why were were there. I said we were there to deal with mood cycling. He said something about "do we know wwhat the diagnosis is?" And I tried hard to keep my cool as I reminded him that yes, we do, and we discussed it on the phone last spring before I ever made the first appointment and he's been asking that question and I've been answering for 4 mos now. So, did he think he might know of someone who could help us a little more on these issues? He sent difficult child out of the room and WENT OFF on me for telling him how to do his job. He asked what I do for a living- I told him and then told him that if someone hire me to do a certain job, I wouldn't tell them I was going to do that, then not do it. Let's just say things went down-hill from there.
At one point, he said he didn't know that difficult child even needed therapy and why was he there. I said, "well, then would you write a letter to that effect so I can give it to PO?" He said he would, then I said I would still be pursuing answers to my questions anyway because there was obviously a big void but if tdocs weren't the place to get my questions answered, I would look elsewhere. I told him I was venting, that it wasn't him personally, that they all do the same and that I was looking for something different. He started his spill about what a good counselor he is and how he works with addicts (we're always hearing this from him) and the "protocol" for treating addiction. I said yes, I understand, and how well did traditional therapy work before the protocfol of the 12 step program was commonly used?
And, I tell him they are developing a more updated protocol for adolescent BiPolar (BP), too, I believe, and that is what I'm looking for. Oh, they are, where where do you think you're going to find it around here, he asked. I said apparently they don''t have it around here. So he asked if I was going to move and I said I might. Then, he described the traditional family therapy and said the kid was supposed to learn that the mom is going to come in and tell the therapist everything the kid has done and then he describes the typical problems in households with boys with single moms. I said yes, I understand that, too, but I did not come here for traditional family therapy and in the studies being done for BiPolar (BP) therapy, they are looking at working on family issues from the other direction- as in dealing with psychoeducation, then triggers, then specific family dynamics.
I asked him if he had any idea what life raising a BiPolar (BP) kid was like, and he said no. I asked if he knew what BiPolar (BP) was like for difficult child or for me trying to raise him, he said no. I asked how could he help us if he had no idea what was involved with BiPolar (BP). He said he could help- it's all the same. I said that's what I thought- I can tell- and I am more comfortable with a therapist who has some idea of what the typical problems are so that difficult child and I are in there re-hashing them all trying to get the therapist to understand what our lives are like. I told him I was looking for someone to help with the BiPolar (BP) issues, not the "it's all the same" issues. I said "you counsel all these people with addiction problems" Yes, he says. How well do you think an addict would relate to a counselor who had no idea what addiction was really like. He said it would be incompetent, but he would never do that. He said 30% of his patients were BiPolar (BP) (Oh, BS) I said if they are, my guess is they are here for you to treat addiction and not the actual BiPolar (BP). he asked how I found him to start therapy with. I said I called that office and asked specificly if they had a male counselor available that did CBT and who had experience with mood cycling in adolescents.
Then he started twisting my words around, more po'd than ever. I said well, are you going to write a letter saying my son doesn't need therapy and he said no, because I had just said that we still did need help. He told me to bring in what it was that I was looking for from therapy. I didn't say anything because I figured if he was aware of the new approaches for therapy for adolescent BiPolar (BP), he wouldn't need me to bring them in. But I did say that I didn't write them, they are all over the internet and in the books and the psychiatrists know what they are. He asked what the psychiatrists say, I said the psychiatrists, particularly the one that did the MDE said we need psychoeducation, then identifying triggers, then difficult child needs to learn coping skills and problem-solving. He said would I sign a release form for him to talk to psychiatrists- I said I gave him a copy of the MDE psychiatrist's report detailing the treatment plan which specificly lists the type of therapy recommended the first visit and I signed a release form for regular psychiatrist communication the first time we came here- it's been in difficult child's record the whole time. he said well, maybe difficult child didn't need this, so what he's been in a little trouble- what's he been in trouble for? How many times has he been in trouble? I just looked at him. Then, he just kept looking madder and madder, so I left- time was up anyway and he had spent the previous 5 mins packing his brief case while we were going at it like this.
I realize that I've been in a crappy mood all day and have not been happy with him for spending four mos asking about the diagnosis, what medications difficult child is on, telling us about his work with addicts, and rescheduling appts (he calls a 4:00 appointment "evening time" and says he doesn't want to work that late), but I think I have every right to ask him to recommend someone else, especially when it's more than obvious that the guy hasn't looked at anything, isn't keeping up with anything pertaining to difficult child and doesn't seem to really care if this is progressing or not. He brought up that he gives counseling to thos mandated by the courts a lot, so my guess is that he's just not used to someone actually expecting him to deliver anything other than the typical "going through the motions".
They always say to discuss things with the therapist if you aren't happy about how they are going or progressing and they tell you if it isn't a comfortable fit, then asked therapist to recommend someone else. He refused to recommend someone else. He just kept saying that he was very good at what he did.
Boy, I can't wait until tomorrow when we see PO and I get to explain this to her!
At one point, he said he didn't know that difficult child even needed therapy and why was he there. I said, "well, then would you write a letter to that effect so I can give it to PO?" He said he would, then I said I would still be pursuing answers to my questions anyway because there was obviously a big void but if tdocs weren't the place to get my questions answered, I would look elsewhere. I told him I was venting, that it wasn't him personally, that they all do the same and that I was looking for something different. He started his spill about what a good counselor he is and how he works with addicts (we're always hearing this from him) and the "protocol" for treating addiction. I said yes, I understand, and how well did traditional therapy work before the protocfol of the 12 step program was commonly used?
And, I tell him they are developing a more updated protocol for adolescent BiPolar (BP), too, I believe, and that is what I'm looking for. Oh, they are, where where do you think you're going to find it around here, he asked. I said apparently they don''t have it around here. So he asked if I was going to move and I said I might. Then, he described the traditional family therapy and said the kid was supposed to learn that the mom is going to come in and tell the therapist everything the kid has done and then he describes the typical problems in households with boys with single moms. I said yes, I understand that, too, but I did not come here for traditional family therapy and in the studies being done for BiPolar (BP) therapy, they are looking at working on family issues from the other direction- as in dealing with psychoeducation, then triggers, then specific family dynamics.
I asked him if he had any idea what life raising a BiPolar (BP) kid was like, and he said no. I asked if he knew what BiPolar (BP) was like for difficult child or for me trying to raise him, he said no. I asked how could he help us if he had no idea what was involved with BiPolar (BP). He said he could help- it's all the same. I said that's what I thought- I can tell- and I am more comfortable with a therapist who has some idea of what the typical problems are so that difficult child and I are in there re-hashing them all trying to get the therapist to understand what our lives are like. I told him I was looking for someone to help with the BiPolar (BP) issues, not the "it's all the same" issues. I said "you counsel all these people with addiction problems" Yes, he says. How well do you think an addict would relate to a counselor who had no idea what addiction was really like. He said it would be incompetent, but he would never do that. He said 30% of his patients were BiPolar (BP) (Oh, BS) I said if they are, my guess is they are here for you to treat addiction and not the actual BiPolar (BP). he asked how I found him to start therapy with. I said I called that office and asked specificly if they had a male counselor available that did CBT and who had experience with mood cycling in adolescents.
Then he started twisting my words around, more po'd than ever. I said well, are you going to write a letter saying my son doesn't need therapy and he said no, because I had just said that we still did need help. He told me to bring in what it was that I was looking for from therapy. I didn't say anything because I figured if he was aware of the new approaches for therapy for adolescent BiPolar (BP), he wouldn't need me to bring them in. But I did say that I didn't write them, they are all over the internet and in the books and the psychiatrists know what they are. He asked what the psychiatrists say, I said the psychiatrists, particularly the one that did the MDE said we need psychoeducation, then identifying triggers, then difficult child needs to learn coping skills and problem-solving. He said would I sign a release form for him to talk to psychiatrists- I said I gave him a copy of the MDE psychiatrist's report detailing the treatment plan which specificly lists the type of therapy recommended the first visit and I signed a release form for regular psychiatrist communication the first time we came here- it's been in difficult child's record the whole time. he said well, maybe difficult child didn't need this, so what he's been in a little trouble- what's he been in trouble for? How many times has he been in trouble? I just looked at him. Then, he just kept looking madder and madder, so I left- time was up anyway and he had spent the previous 5 mins packing his brief case while we were going at it like this.
I realize that I've been in a crappy mood all day and have not been happy with him for spending four mos asking about the diagnosis, what medications difficult child is on, telling us about his work with addicts, and rescheduling appts (he calls a 4:00 appointment "evening time" and says he doesn't want to work that late), but I think I have every right to ask him to recommend someone else, especially when it's more than obvious that the guy hasn't looked at anything, isn't keeping up with anything pertaining to difficult child and doesn't seem to really care if this is progressing or not. He brought up that he gives counseling to thos mandated by the courts a lot, so my guess is that he's just not used to someone actually expecting him to deliver anything other than the typical "going through the motions".
They always say to discuss things with the therapist if you aren't happy about how they are going or progressing and they tell you if it isn't a comfortable fit, then asked therapist to recommend someone else. He refused to recommend someone else. He just kept saying that he was very good at what he did.
Boy, I can't wait until tomorrow when we see PO and I get to explain this to her!
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