OK another little big thing...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by totoro, Mar 9, 2008.

  1. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Since were on the subject!!! LOL
    How do we get K to wipe??? Or to start trying??? With BM's??? She can wipe when she pees. But when she goes number 2, forget about it!!! It is complete shutdown, we have been having talks and asking her to try, showing her how to do it, letting her know that we don't like doing it and she is a big girl!!!
    What if she is somewhere and she needs to go???
    I know she can at least attempt to do it... I am not looking for perfection here!!! Just a swipe or something.
    So last night she in the bathroom... so she does her usual, screams out, "I'm DONE!", so I say, "Done what?" she yells back, "Done going poopy, can someone come and wipe me?" so I say, "You wipe first and I will come in and check your work, OK"

    That did it, she started screaming... "I can't, NO I will not wipe, NO, NO, NO!!!"
    I came in and told her she could and I just wanted her to try, handed her a wipe and told her I knew she could... pep talk etc. She threw it at me, started slamming the shower door, screaming.
    This went on for 1/2 hour...
    She just shut down, refused. Finally at the end, she swiped her butt, barely, mad. Screaming at me the whole time, said she could not do it and see Mom I am horrible. I tried to tell her she did a great job wiping.

    After we had a talk and I explained to her once again why, she was much calmer. She said sorry and she understood... but we will go through this again...
    She is not a kid who falls for bribes.
    She was on the toilet for almost an hour total... last night! She could care less!!!
    She is a funny little kid! Drives me crazy, but very funny.
    any ideas???
  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    The problem we had with difficult child is that he would have a bm, not wipe and not ask anyone for help. He finally got tired of having a sore butt, and having us (me) make him go wash himself with wet washcloth. Did not feel too good. Now he uses so much toilet paper he clogs the toilet. Can't win for losing.
  3. sandman3

    sandman3 New Member

    Oh, I wish I could help, but my 7 year old difficult child (who will be 8 in May) still won't wipe himself! I don't lose my patience with it....it's back to that whole "choose your battles" thing for me. I figure it will come with time!

  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    T, I know it's an annoyance, but you have to ask yourself if this issue goes in Basket A. It wouldn't (and didn't) for me so I just went with the flow (no pun intended) with my difficult child 1. In time, he learned (but he's still a little messier than his sisters). K's got a lot of anxiety and sensory issues, and those could very well be at play here. I'd recommend waiting until she takes the lead on this issue.
  5. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    What if you wiped first with a baby wipe then asked her to try when she was already clean?
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    wow i have to say i know i'Tourette's Syndrome hard and all and it lasted for a 1/2 hour but she seems to be handling the no medication thing really well. she got really upset but in the end apologized for her behavior.

    good job mom.

    as far as getting her to wipe i have no clue.........my little difficult child is wearing pull ups in bed right now lol......i'm soo not the person to advise on that situation :)

    anyhow good luck :)
  7. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    In the grand scheme of things, I think I'd be putting this one on the backburner for awhile. She's got an awful lot of other things going on.

    Usually with this issue, they'll do it when they're good and ready...and then you can forget helping her after that whether she needs it or not.
  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I was thinking the same things... we don't push it...
    But sometimes she will come out, not very often, and I will go into the bathroom later an it is clogged up with wipes and toilet paper!!! LOL
    So I would like her to at least know how much to use when she attempts!!!
    The other reason I, and the only reason that I really care so much about.
    Is that she is the type of kid who would go at School, or at a friends house!!!
    So I don't want her little fragile self to be made fun of because she smells or something like that...
    In someways she is so oblivious... and she is so head in the clouds... but others, she cries and can't stop and will not let it go, like kids making fun of her, that is a big one.

    But, but just now!!! Guess what she just did??? She did it!!! All on her own... we talked about it... I explained why... and what if she was at a friends house???
    I double checked after....she did OK... but I danced and cheered her on... she was beeming.
    One day at a time.... Yesterday she did not go... so I was worried I had pushed it too far??? But I talked with her, she said it was OK. I told her if it was too much to tell me. I would never make her do any thing that she was not ok with.
    we will see
  9. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    My easy child/difficult child 3 is like that with things that intimidate her or make her anxious. (Learning to ride her bike without training wheels was a HUGE mental hurdle). She digs in her heels and throws the loveliest hissy fit, but then later when she manages a tiny bit of success, she's all smiles and suddenly she can't remember what all the fuss was about. I think those little successes go a long way towards easing the anxiety that's blocking them in the first place.

    Sounds like she may have had a breakthrough today. Maybe tomorrow will be a little bit easier, especially if she knows she has you as her safety net.