Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Ok, I just have to ask your opinion on this strategy
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 322027" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I wouldn't worry too much about the teacher using the word "weird" to descibe the noises. They ARE weird. If the teacher doesn't use the word, you can be sure classmates already have, often.</p><p></p><p>Our kids can be very different and while we teach them to accept teir differences, we also need to teach them just how different they can be, to give them the choice to modify their behaviour, if they can, to blend in better.</p><p></p><p>My boys also have made noises - I found that over time, the noises they made would change to something less obvious. I talked to difficult child 1 about it, he said he couldn't stop making the oise once he had started it, but he could change to a different noise. In some cases it was a noise he had heard which he tried to imitate (such as the call of a male emu calling the chicks, it's a sort of booming noise in the throat, like a backwards gulp). But once he had managed to make the noise to his satisfaction he found it permanently lodged in his repertoire.</p><p></p><p>If your son has Tourette's, he will have a lot less voluntary control. If he has autism in some form, there is some voluntary control but the noises actuallyseem to soothe them, to hep them stay in control or callmer. The more stressed they are, the more they make the noises. Someties they won't notice their own noises but will if you draw their attention to them. They can't always stop, and if you try to force them to stop, often another noise or tic will take its place.</p><p></p><p>As they get older and more socially aware (which seems to me to be wha tthe teacher is trying to do) they learn to think about the effect they have on other kids, and try to moderate their own tics. If they can.</p><p></p><p>I think the teacher did a good thing.</p><p></p><p>I do like the idea of the role-pplay, as long as the person 'playing' difficult child doesn't do it in a way to make that kid look too 'bad' or 'wrong'. </p><p></p><p>Normality is a spectrum and our kids are on it. Often they're way up one end or the other of the spectrum, but they can slide further towards the middle. They are not bad kids.</p><p></p><p>I would ask, if you're still concerned, if you can observe either a rehearsal, or a script, or while they're teaching your son. Discuss it with them, but as long as your son isn't being depicted in a demeaning way, I don't see a problem. If they use humour then that is good too. But don't satirise him, do it lovingly. After all, a lot of parents do this and also do it with satire, exaggerating the undesirable behaviour and making it look awful. I hated it when my mother did that (or my sisters). But if you're trying to demonstrate the difference between a hungry kid pointing to his mouth and saying "Aah!" to indicate hunger, and having the other person say, "Do you have a toothache? No? Is your tongue itchy? Do you have a sore throat? I just can't work out what is wrong! I think we have to take you to the doctor, he will work it out..." then it should work, especially if you next have the person demonstrating difficult child say politely, "I'm hungry. Is there anything to eat please?" and having the other person respond with, "You asked tht so nicely! Come on, let's see what food we have, I am so glad you can tell me what you want because I can offer you choice. I have meatballs, I have chicken, or I have fruit. Which would you like?"</p><p></p><p>We used a lot of social stories, but again, they need to be the right kind. Again, as above - nothing judgmental, mrely demonstating what works and helping the child to rehearse the good methods.</p><p></p><p>I think you need to sit down and think hard - why do I feel so bad about this? What is bothering me about it? Am I being oversensitive about them telling me child he isn't perfect? Or is there something I'm picking up at a gut level that needs my attention?</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 322027, member: 1991"] I wouldn't worry too much about the teacher using the word "weird" to descibe the noises. They ARE weird. If the teacher doesn't use the word, you can be sure classmates already have, often. Our kids can be very different and while we teach them to accept teir differences, we also need to teach them just how different they can be, to give them the choice to modify their behaviour, if they can, to blend in better. My boys also have made noises - I found that over time, the noises they made would change to something less obvious. I talked to difficult child 1 about it, he said he couldn't stop making the oise once he had started it, but he could change to a different noise. In some cases it was a noise he had heard which he tried to imitate (such as the call of a male emu calling the chicks, it's a sort of booming noise in the throat, like a backwards gulp). But once he had managed to make the noise to his satisfaction he found it permanently lodged in his repertoire. If your son has Tourette's, he will have a lot less voluntary control. If he has autism in some form, there is some voluntary control but the noises actuallyseem to soothe them, to hep them stay in control or callmer. The more stressed they are, the more they make the noises. Someties they won't notice their own noises but will if you draw their attention to them. They can't always stop, and if you try to force them to stop, often another noise or tic will take its place. As they get older and more socially aware (which seems to me to be wha tthe teacher is trying to do) they learn to think about the effect they have on other kids, and try to moderate their own tics. If they can. I think the teacher did a good thing. I do like the idea of the role-pplay, as long as the person 'playing' difficult child doesn't do it in a way to make that kid look too 'bad' or 'wrong'. Normality is a spectrum and our kids are on it. Often they're way up one end or the other of the spectrum, but they can slide further towards the middle. They are not bad kids. I would ask, if you're still concerned, if you can observe either a rehearsal, or a script, or while they're teaching your son. Discuss it with them, but as long as your son isn't being depicted in a demeaning way, I don't see a problem. If they use humour then that is good too. But don't satirise him, do it lovingly. After all, a lot of parents do this and also do it with satire, exaggerating the undesirable behaviour and making it look awful. I hated it when my mother did that (or my sisters). But if you're trying to demonstrate the difference between a hungry kid pointing to his mouth and saying "Aah!" to indicate hunger, and having the other person say, "Do you have a toothache? No? Is your tongue itchy? Do you have a sore throat? I just can't work out what is wrong! I think we have to take you to the doctor, he will work it out..." then it should work, especially if you next have the person demonstrating difficult child say politely, "I'm hungry. Is there anything to eat please?" and having the other person respond with, "You asked tht so nicely! Come on, let's see what food we have, I am so glad you can tell me what you want because I can offer you choice. I have meatballs, I have chicken, or I have fruit. Which would you like?" We used a lot of social stories, but again, they need to be the right kind. Again, as above - nothing judgmental, mrely demonstating what works and helping the child to rehearse the good methods. I think you need to sit down and think hard - why do I feel so bad about this? What is bothering me about it? Am I being oversensitive about them telling me child he isn't perfect? Or is there something I'm picking up at a gut level that needs my attention? Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Ok, I just have to ask your opinion on this strategy
Top