ok i think i give....

[Jena]

ok i think i'm ready to medicate me now. Why am I making things harder by not taking something to help the anxiety i'm feeling? why? I ask myself everyday why I feel the need to torture myself, I'm into the old school lift up your chin and move forward, get a grip my mother drilled that into me. Yet i think its time. I have xanax from last year i had taken a few of those yet i'm afraid to pop those although they did the trick so so well i loved them their addictive and i'm afraid to create a new problem.

So, anyone out there have any good ideas? just to lower me down a bit to a somewhat more managable level? I'm not depressed, I'm ****** that things keep getting harder it seems and i'm always anxious i'm like difficult child now. I wasn't like this before. Is this what happens to us from handling so much?

So, problem is i have no insurance right now. So i'm going to have to figure out how to get them. boyfriend's sister is a dr yet that's not a safe way to handle things for myself.

any thoughts??? by the way I did ask my boyfriend if he found me to be all over the place like you guys do on ocassion he said yes very much so. He said your doinga great job handling without medications, but if it can make it easier for you than why not??

 

[Jena]

by the way i can't take ssri's either just like difficult child. I don't become manic I just become umm like i want to drive my truck into a wall yes not good.

he says taking the xanax isn't good because it's just temporarily relief. ?? i really want to take one bad right now

 

[Sheila]

I don't know if buspar is an SSRI, but talk to your doctor about an anxiety medication -- generic brand. They can be very inexpensive at Walmart.

I was a pull yourself up by your bootstraps person too -- just do it! I changed my mind after I nearly needed a straight-jacket. lol

Get help. It's a whole lot easier to get yourself together now than after you've completely fallen apart.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Sheila is right in that some generics are really inexpensive at Walmart and Kroger. What type of doctor is boyfriend's sister? I wouldn't be taking any medications you have left over from before. It's not smart and it's not safe.

Jennifer, you need to get some help from you. Call and find out if there is a clinic through a local teaching university you can visit for free or a drastically reduced price. Would you qualify for medicaid?

Hope you find some answers soon. It's going to be much easier going trying to help and deal with the difficult children if you are in a better place.

Sharon

 

[Wiped Out]

I agree about not taking the old medications-might no longer be good and that really could be dangerous. Walmart and Target I think both have inexpensive generics.

I understand the philosophy of pulling yourself up and keep going but there are times when it is important to realize we may need something more.

 

[timer lady]

Jennifer,

Whatever it takes so you can function ~ that's my motto. I'm supposed to take 3 mg of ativan a day. No one is seemingly worried about the addiction side. They are more worried about the increasing level of stress & how my body can/will handle it.

If you had diabetes it wouldn't work pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, nor would it work with cancer or epilepsy. Any anti anxiety medication needs to be taken with care & great thought. However, you will be able to think more clearly with-o the level of anxiety you seem to be feeling. Just MHO

 

[Jena]

ok i know you guys are going to say what i did was bad, yet I took a xanax last night and wow that worked. That and he brought dinner home for kids and I. Don't get me wrong I can function yet the pressure can be so bad at times. So, I'm sitting here like ok why am I torturing myself it's ok if I need something to take the edge off. I'll talk to my therapist this sunday and see if she can get me something.

I hate admitting defeat I'm so stubborn

 

[meowbunny]

I have some other words besides stubborn for medication refusal and I don't care if we're talking about a child or an adult. You're not talking getting high here, you're talking about chemical imbalances and neurological issues that need more than just sukking it up to help your body. However, self-medicating is just as dumb and I don't care if your using medications that a doctor previously gave you or not. At least call your old doctor and ask if it's okay to use them, don't just take somethng because it's there.

 

[butterfly31972]

Jennifer, you are doing what you need to do--taking care of yourself and putting your airplane mask before you put on your child's.

Try to look at it that way

 

[butterfly31972]

OK, I think I'm confused! This was prescribed for you, right?

 

[Jena]

hi,

I did call the pharmacy last night before taking the xanax to see if it was ok to take, date was filled, etc. i wouldn't just pop anything especially when i'm home with kids alone and he's at work. Sorry if I didn't write that correctly.

Yes, oxygen mask I know good point

Funny thing is I'm realizing that this new person that I am now, due to stress the diagnosis's of me whatever I'm so similar to difficult child. I get upset when she won't adhere to the things i'm teaching her and therapist like imagery meditation, etc. Yet look at me i'm doing the same thing and I'm a grown up lol.

I know I should start walking again, yoga is out due to my bad back, yet I could def implement positive change especially now while i'm looking for work. Yet i'm lazy and I don't want to have to admit where I am I guess and that for the first time in my life this past year it's going to take real effort to get me back to where I feel happy, or at least calm to handle my life. Yes, more deep thoughts lol