Ok, I will NEVER camp out with fifteen girls AGAIN!!!! EVER!

[BusynMember]

I knew some of the girls, but the few I didn't know, well, let's just say, they won't be invited back anytime soon. We had several embarrassing mishaps.

My daughter and her friends marched up to me grinning (first mishap) and daughter told me that she had seen a couple getting frisky in the grass so she had said (this child is very outspoken) "Get a hotel room" to which the man barked back "Shut up!" Oh, good heavens! We keep trying to tell his daughter NOT to talk directly to the people who she feels are doing something wrong! We tell her to call the cops or tell the ranger. But she kept saying, "But it was WRONG. It was SO WRONG." Ugh. Fifteen minutes later the Ranger drove up to our site to say that "somebody" had complained about unruly teens last night--they swore loudly and threw things at them. Well, I was up with them and that didn't happen, however that's what DOES happen when you tick people off. They retaliate. N. does have to learn to control her mouth and tell people in charge rather than the people who she feels are doing something wrong. I'm not sure if the Ranger believed me or not. Thankfully hub was also there and he talked to the guy mano-to-mano. But that wasn't the end.

Near the end of the second day (yes, we had the campsite for two days--we weren't allowed to only reserve it for one night), two young teen boys came up to us while the girls were gone. They told us that the girls had been swearing at them and mocking them all day long at their family reunion. While my blood pressure skyrocketed, hub was able to talk to them calmly and he called the girls back. It turned out it wasn't all the girls, but two of them in particular and one in EXTRA particular. This girl was not one I knew well and was a knew friend of N's (and she is off N's friends list now. She doesn't go to her school nor does she live close, and I don't even think N. knew what she was like). So the girl confessed as she bawled, talking about how she has anger issues which she is working on and how she was just ****** off today. The other girl, usually a very good girl, had been pushed into it and she started crying too. Both girls ended up apologizing and going to the boy's campsite to apologize to their parents. I actually felt sorry for the difficult child--it's not like I've never been there myself.

My hub was going to leave. He can't sleep on the ground in a tent--he has a bad back. But with all the drama, he did stay. And it was quiet after that. But I am exhausted. I told N. that her birthday next year can be in OUR back yard. We have a huge yard with a fire pit. We don't have a lake, but oh well. The pool isn't too far away. We paid to reserve the campsite and get aggravated.

All in all, N. had a great time, I'm sure, but hub and I sure didn't.

 

[Andy]

I am so sorry for your stressfull camping experience. I am glad that the girls actually went to apologize in person. Hopefully this gave the newest girl something to think about. I am sure her parents don't like her behaviors either but when another non-parent adult makes you accountable it seems to sink in a little more.

I hope you can find time to recoup today.

 

[ML]

I'm glad that's over! I'm also glad N had a good time

 

[Marguerite]

WHat a wonderful excuse ... "I have anger issues..."

THAT wasn't something she thought up by herself on the spur of the moment!

When difficult child 3 got physicallyattacked by a younger kid who lives near us, we went to complain to the parents. The father came out to us and explained (in front of his son) that difficult child 3 must have done osmething, perhaps touched his son, that his son has sensory problems and to him a touch can feel like a physical blow and he will retaliate, so whoever touches him has to simply take what happens. Meanwhile the son is lapping this up, storing it away like squirrels store nuts for winter.
And it hadn't happened thta way anyway - the kid had ridden up to difficult child 3, who was (like a lot of autistic kids) in his own world playing with a paper aeroplane, at that moment sitting in the gutter fiddling with the folds. The kid had got off his bike and thumped difficult child 3, kicking him, then got on his bike and rode off.

The father went on to say that his son often got picked on because of his 'problem'. At this point in the conversagtion with the boys' father, the boy piped up with, "Yeah, after I left difficult child 3, I rode round the corner and another kid attacked me, right out of the blue. But I left HIM with a bloody nose."
The father turned and said to his son, "Good on you, I'm glad you can look after yourself."

We left. I think I did manage to say, "Amazing how your son gets picked on - that's two unprovoked attacks within minutes, totally unrelated and unknown to each other. My, your son is such a target!"

I had also said, "difficult child 3, due to his autism, also has sensory issues. He is learning to understand them and manage them appropriately."

Since then I've been making a point of being nice to this boy, to get under his skin. It's not been easy. I strongly suspect it's been a case of "small man syndrome" in the father, who is physically abusive to a number of men in town (despite his small stature) and could well be abusive to his family. Their behaviour seems to bear this out.

Very sad, but especially sad when it enables the children to use every escuse under the sun for teir behaviour without the accountability.

YOU made that girl accountable. Good for you. It may have been the first time she has been made to atone.

A suggestion for next year - let N have a party, but make her reduce the number of kids invited. Maybe half the number. If the number is too small, tell her she can have two parties, half her friends at each. Or three parties, five girls at each. A large party is too unmanageable, especially as a sleepover. Especially if it's a crowded camping ground and you can't control what other people do.

Marg

 

[BusynMember]

Oh, Marg, such a silly excuse.

This girl probably DOES have issues, but if she can't control herself and takes her anger out of innocent kids who have their own issues (this boy said he gets picked on a lot and just got tired of it), then I don't want her with our family when we're trying to have a birthday party for my daughter. NOT that my daughter is a total angel! She DOES have a tendency to be very outspoken. A few of the girls had told the boys "It's not healthy to smoke" and the boys took offense to THAT too. My daughter was one of them and she said, "Well, it IS bad to smoke!" (truly she needs to understand that unless people are close to her, she needs to keep her opinion to herself, even when she's right). It was mostly this girl E. who was picking on these two teenage boys ALL DAY, and whatever her issues are, I really don't want her with us since she is mean when she is in a bad mood. There was no reason to pick on these boys. They were really very decent and even admirable, coming straight up to us after talking about it with their parents and looking us straight in the eyes while they aired their grievances. However, at first they said, "it was all of them." After the girls were there, they both nailed E. and said it was just E. and one other girl, who was sort of being egged on by E.

I'm glad the weekend is over. I slept for four hours today in my own bed

 

[Hound dog]

MWM

The only logical thing to do with 15 yr old girls is to nail them in a barrel and feed em thru the bung hole until their 16th birthday. OMG!! What on earth were you thinking???

Love the girl's excuse. Pat answer, huh. Doesn't excuse bad behavior.

Oh, well. You all survived and your daughter still had a good time. That's what counts.



Hugs

 

[witzend]

FIFTEEN!?!? Are you NUTS?

You know, just because you reserve the spot for two days doesn't mean you actually have to tell anyone that you have it for two days or stay for two days!

 

[timer lady]

MWM, my immediate thought was why would you ever consider camping with 15 girls in the first place. Next time that even enters your brain again talk to us first.

You're a very brave lady.

 

[BusynMember]

LOL...well, it worked last year.

It certainly won't ever happen again. And they are 13, not 15.

I think it will take two weeks to recover and, yes, next time I'll check out my plans first with you guys!!!

 

[Andy]

13 year olds glued to cell phones! That is scary. I suppose they didn't have them last year.

I think if my daughter was 13 I would get her a phone without texting. Just something to contact me in emergencies. Way too young to start that lifestyle of putting the phone above friends your are actually with. However, it is hard to fight society isn't it?

When Diva ever went to a Girl Scout camping event and for many school activities, electronic devices were not allowed. I remembered being shocked one year when a CD player was glued to this young girl's ear the entire weekend. She was definetly buried in her own world and no one was enforcing the non-electronic rule. I remember thinking how she was isolating herself - taking the easy way out of not socializing or following the program. Now she would be the norm and any girl who would really want the experience of having non-electronic devices fun is certainly not the norm.

 

[Star*]

Next year......tune in as Midwest Mom goes butterfly hunting on Kodiak Island Alaska near the largest population of Kodiaks and Grizzly bears armed with a butterfly net and some collection jars.

(You'd be safer there with a butterfly net than you were with 15 teenagers in a campsite)

WOW - YOU GET THE BRAVE MOM OF THE MONTH AWARD.....

 

[Marguerite]

WOW - YOU GET THE BRAVE MOM OF THE MONTH AWARD.....

or maybe the gibbering wreck trophy for the terminally exhausted and bewildered...

I'm thinking, 13 x 15 year-olds, or 15 x 13 year-olds - not a lot of difference, really. Equally terrifying.

To continue my earlier post about the suggestion to have much smaller groups for maybe a one night sleepover, totally under your supervision with no other people around - when easy child was 11, we had a sleepover at our house with about 6 other kids. It was a two night sleepover, yes we were crazy, but it worked well. BEcause we live in a holiday resort as well as an isolated place, plus easy child's school was in the city - these kids had a ball, they could walk outside at night and see the stars, they saw wildlife (the furry kind) and husband took them for a bushwalk during the day on the Saturday.
We had hired movies that easy child picked out, she wanted goofy funny & a bit scary movies, but found she'd bitten off more thna she could chew with "Killer Clowns From Outer Space" - a really BAAAD teen scary movie. The killer clowns were aliens out to wipe out life on earth by wrapping their victims in fairy floss (aka cotton candy). Every funny cliche in the book, but the girls were a little bit too young to really enjoy the satire, so instead they were terrified and husband & I had to consol the girls and calm them down. Now she's older, easy child has been searching for a copy of thaty film.

But seriously - a movie marathon at home can be a lot of fun especially if the birthday child gets to choose the films (with parental veto, of course). Girls curled up on the floor in PJs on the mattresses and in sleeping bags, watching movies and eating popcorn from the hard-working popcorn machine in the kitchen. Loads of snacks, rubbishy food and soft drink (no cola).

We still had a couple of problems with girl fights, a couple of girls ganged up on one of them, purely typical teen girl stuff but I had to have an instant mediation session and nearly had to call a couple of parents to fetch their kids for an early departure. NOT good. But we worked it out, the girls also worked togeter to help sort the behaviour problems.

You DO get the occasional problem kid causing trouble, even with typical teen kids. I hate t think what it would have been like if we'd been camping with that lot. And it was only 6 of them!

I fully agree with your view on the difficult child girl - when I said something about the excuse, I was being sarcastic. It doesn't show well in posts. I tihnk you've made the right call, banning that girl from future events. Even aside from her "anger issues", it shows disrespect to you and your efforts, as well as disrespect to N and her celebration, for the difficult child to be making everyone else's enjoyment a misery purely by her own nasty behaviour to other people. It's the ultimate in self-absorption to behave the way she does. If N makes any sort of fuss about it, ask her how she felt when the bad behaviour was happening, how she felt about the lack of control of the difficult child motormouth, and how different it could have been without the resultant hassles. It was a celebration for N but this other girl had to make it about herself. A selfish act, but also a tad spiteful, to sabotage it and turn it into a focus on herself.

Again, you did good.

Marg

 

[TerryJ2]

So true, Star!!!

MWM, I read the subject heading and thought, heck, how could it be a good experience with-15 girls? Nunh-uh. Never.

I'm glad the two difficult children went over and apologized to the boys. Whew. I'm glad they're off your daughter's list, too.

Get some sleep.

 

[BusynMember]

LOLOLOL.
I think I get Stupid Mom of the Year Award. Is there such an award?

Next year if she wants to camp it will be in our back yard--it's big with a firepit. And each girl will have to pass my personal inspection. This E. was a throw in that N. barely knew. I don't know why she was invited except that N.'s friend wanted her to come. Not happening again. I have my own difficult child's, thankyouverymuch!!!!

 

[witzend]

Man, you've gotta watch out for those "friends that so-and-so want to invite." They're never going to be anything except sidling in with "so-and-so"!

 

[Andy]

Oh, I think you can take them butterfly hunting. Just make sure that a few select girls get a collection jar full of honey. And when those favorite girls see a cub? "Sure, go get REAL close so I can take your picture." (Gee, wonder why I didn't have many friends growing up? Wonder if I have some now? hmmmm)



You really did do great! 15 brand new and soon to be teenagers is a challenge under any circumstances.

Not Stupid Mom of the Year! Just BEST MOM OF THE YEAR!! Your daughter has no idea what you are willing to do for her does she?

 

[Andy]

I can't resist sharing this one:

I just went to do a visual check on difficult child. "Mom, guess what? H and I figured out that we can talk to each other when I am in my tent and he is on his deck (two doors down). We use our DS's."

Way beyond me but they are only 12 year old boys! How come they are figuring out how to communicate less a walkie talkie? Yikes!

 

[graceupongrace]

MWM,

Thank you for making me grateful that I have boys -- LOL!

But honestly, I wouldn't want to camp out with 15 of them either.

Hope you're recovering from your adventure.

 

[BusynMember]

I have boys and girls. Actually, the boys in a nearby campsite were worse--making noise, throwing things around, being obnoxious in that male way. The Ranger had to tell them to quiet down a few times. Ugh.

NO MORE CAMPING WITH MULTIPLE KIDS NOT MY OWN!!! And all the bug bites I got were NOT worth it!

 

[lovemysons]

LOL, Glad you survived the camping trip and the girls drama... my goodness, yep you won't do that again!
Now time for some real r&r, huh.

Tammy