Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Ok Mikey, Time for an Update
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 42905" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Sorry it isn't going well this week. Somehow it seems to be worse when a holiday is involved.</p><p></p><p>Often you have read here and I'm sure in your independent studies</p><p>that expecting quick results is setting yourself up for pain. I</p><p>personally believe that the parents have to evolve into their own</p><p>point of acceptance. Your wife is struggling in a Mom way this</p><p>week. Most of us have said or done similar things and/or asked</p><p>similar questions because we just can't believe that "our" kids</p><p>no longer feel as they used to. It takes awhile to accept that.</p><p></p><p>When easy child/difficult child was invited to leave a fine program in Orlando I was</p><p>beyond heartsick. I said to one of the counselors who had a particular connection with our son, "thank you for all you have</p><p>done for difficult child, my husband and I are just so eager to get our son</p><p>back". He sat down next to me on the sofa and reached for my</p><p>hand. He said "Mrs. difficult child you and your husband have loved and provided for difficult child every day of his 15 years. That son is gone. Do</p><p>not expect to ever get your son back. He can end up being a fine</p><p>man someday but he will never, ever be the boy you raised so don't expect it." I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed in the shower</p><p>after we were home and difficult child was happily in his bed. I decided that the counselor just didn't know our kid as well as we did.</p><p>Our son loved us to death (and still does), our son never said a</p><p>bad word to us or about us, our son was gifted in academics and</p><p>in athletics, our son had impeccable manners.</p><p></p><p>That counselor was right. None of us here have ever gotten </p><p>"our" sons back. They are gone and the trick is to try to keep the wonderful memories...and then...try to help the new kid in your kids skin get as well as possible. Even if he never smokes</p><p>again...your little boy will never be home again.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 42905, member: 35"] Sorry it isn't going well this week. Somehow it seems to be worse when a holiday is involved. Often you have read here and I'm sure in your independent studies that expecting quick results is setting yourself up for pain. I personally believe that the parents have to evolve into their own point of acceptance. Your wife is struggling in a Mom way this week. Most of us have said or done similar things and/or asked similar questions because we just can't believe that "our" kids no longer feel as they used to. It takes awhile to accept that. When easy child/difficult child was invited to leave a fine program in Orlando I was beyond heartsick. I said to one of the counselors who had a particular connection with our son, "thank you for all you have done for difficult child, my husband and I are just so eager to get our son back". He sat down next to me on the sofa and reached for my hand. He said "Mrs. difficult child you and your husband have loved and provided for difficult child every day of his 15 years. That son is gone. Do not expect to ever get your son back. He can end up being a fine man someday but he will never, ever be the boy you raised so don't expect it." I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed in the shower after we were home and difficult child was happily in his bed. I decided that the counselor just didn't know our kid as well as we did. Our son loved us to death (and still does), our son never said a bad word to us or about us, our son was gifted in academics and in athletics, our son had impeccable manners. That counselor was right. None of us here have ever gotten "our" sons back. They are gone and the trick is to try to keep the wonderful memories...and then...try to help the new kid in your kids skin get as well as possible. Even if he never smokes again...your little boy will never be home again. I'm sorry. DDD [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Ok Mikey, Time for an Update
Top