Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Ok, Moms. Dating for girls at what age?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 169179" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkred">Way back before I had kids nearing their teens, I always said, "16" - in my head. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkred">easy child technically did not date until around 17. She had guys who were friends and would come around the house at around 16, but no one special. She was easy on me. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkred">difficult child, on the other hand, had a boy who began frequenting our home at about 14.5 - it was pretty harmless. They would watch tv, listen to music, he would help me in the yard, come out with us food shopping or to a park, etc. Just before her 15th birthday, they starting acting more like a couple, holding hands, H caught them making out a couple of times. That's when we had to create some ground rules for when a boy is visiting our home - where they can hang out, curfews, acceptable PDA, etc. All the while, it was apparent that difficult child was becoming 'boy/sex crazy' by talking smack on line with some of her guy friends on IM. She and the boyfriend broke up and, shortly thereafter, she was sexually assaulted by an on line predator. (I swear I am not trying to scare you). A few months later, she started going out with one of her classmates and they eventually became sexually active just before her 16th birthday - they went out for nearly 2 years in total and we really liked him a lot. We were able to have candid discussions about sex, etc., and they were both very open about it with us. We used caution, but by that time, we felt they knew what they were doing. Well, at least until difficult child went around the bend emotionally and mentally. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkred">Anyway, IMVHO, 12 is waaaaaay too young to even consider encouraging a dating type of environment. Period. At 12 they should be hanging out in groups and going out for ice cream, and being social with ALL of their mutual friends. Making out and going to the movies alone together, again IMVHO, is inappropriate, no matter what the degree of or type of dating is involved. I don't even think discussing it in terms of "you're allowed to date when you reach the age of ___" is necessary. Instead just steer her towards more group like activities and do not encourage or allow her to be involved in any one-on-one situations with a boy. If she brings it up, that is a perfect opportunity to discuss why you feel dating at 12 is inappropriate without lecturing and without arguing. She's only 12 - you should not have to argue with her about dating at that age. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #8b0000">Best of luck - it is not easy, I know, but hang in there.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 169179, member: 2211"] [FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkred]Way back before I had kids nearing their teens, I always said, "16" - in my head. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkred]easy child technically did not date until around 17. She had guys who were friends and would come around the house at around 16, but no one special. She was easy on me. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkred]difficult child, on the other hand, had a boy who began frequenting our home at about 14.5 - it was pretty harmless. They would watch tv, listen to music, he would help me in the yard, come out with us food shopping or to a park, etc. Just before her 15th birthday, they starting acting more like a couple, holding hands, H caught them making out a couple of times. That's when we had to create some ground rules for when a boy is visiting our home - where they can hang out, curfews, acceptable PDA, etc. All the while, it was apparent that difficult child was becoming 'boy/sex crazy' by talking smack on line with some of her guy friends on IM. She and the boyfriend broke up and, shortly thereafter, she was sexually assaulted by an on line predator. (I swear I am not trying to scare you). A few months later, she started going out with one of her classmates and they eventually became sexually active just before her 16th birthday - they went out for nearly 2 years in total and we really liked him a lot. We were able to have candid discussions about sex, etc., and they were both very open about it with us. We used caution, but by that time, we felt they knew what they were doing. Well, at least until difficult child went around the bend emotionally and mentally. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkred]Anyway, IMVHO, 12 is waaaaaay too young to even consider encouraging a dating type of environment. Period. At 12 they should be hanging out in groups and going out for ice cream, and being social with ALL of their mutual friends. Making out and going to the movies alone together, again IMVHO, is inappropriate, no matter what the degree of or type of dating is involved. I don't even think discussing it in terms of "you're allowed to date when you reach the age of ___" is necessary. Instead just steer her towards more group like activities and do not encourage or allow her to be involved in any one-on-one situations with a boy. If she brings it up, that is a perfect opportunity to discuss why you feel dating at 12 is inappropriate without lecturing and without arguing. She's only 12 - you should not have to argue with her about dating at that age. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3][COLOR=#8b0000]Best of luck - it is not easy, I know, but hang in there.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Ok, Moms. Dating for girls at what age?
Top