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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 116885" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>The teachers remarks read exactly how so many of my difficult child's reports read over her academic career beginning at age 11.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion, it is not wrong for a teacher to put the onus on the student, regardless of his/her disabilities. Who else could be held responsible for his/her academic success or failure? </p><p></p><p>I agree that it is wrong for the teacher to penalize a student who has known disablities and an IEP, as well as if the teacher knows that this student cannot do the work presented. I think the teachers were simply stating the facts.</p><p></p><p>Having been in your shoes and having dealt with many of difficult child's teachers...some who rightfully expected more than I was able to see her capable of handling...I urge you to call a meeting with the teachers and go over the reports and his IEP to make sure that they understand difficult child's limitations. </p><p></p><p>Likewise, I think that at a certain point, difficult child does have to take more responsibility for his work product. My difficult child knew we had been meeting about her and she knew that she had an IEP and why; she knew she was entitled to certain accommodations and she used her ADD as way of always saying, "I forgot my HW" or "I forgot that was due today" or "I forgot today was the test" and expecting to get away with it. I can see that more clearly now.</p><p></p><p>I wish I had pushed difficult child more and held her more accountable for her work. I'm sure a teacher would have thanked me. Don't get me wrong. When it came to her disabilities I backed her up 100%. And also, both the teachers and I always tried to take into account her waxing and waning abilities. She was not always consistent in her ability to do the work or remain on task. But there were periods of time when she was right on! </p><p></p><p>But her owning up to the fact that she was in school and these were her responsibilities, regardless of her capabilities on any particular week, that is where I think I should have been more firm with her and I actually see a link between my letting stuff like that slide, backing up difficult child when I shouldn't have, and her behavior now. I should have let her suffer the consequences more instead of always jumping in to advocate for her and defend her lack of attention to her work on her disabilities.</p><p></p><p>Just my 2 cents. I agree that you should have a meeting with his teachers to go over everything. Best of luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 116885, member: 2211"] The teachers remarks read exactly how so many of my difficult child's reports read over her academic career beginning at age 11. in my opinion, it is not wrong for a teacher to put the onus on the student, regardless of his/her disabilities. Who else could be held responsible for his/her academic success or failure? I agree that it is wrong for the teacher to penalize a student who has known disablities and an IEP, as well as if the teacher knows that this student cannot do the work presented. I think the teachers were simply stating the facts. Having been in your shoes and having dealt with many of difficult child's teachers...some who rightfully expected more than I was able to see her capable of handling...I urge you to call a meeting with the teachers and go over the reports and his IEP to make sure that they understand difficult child's limitations. Likewise, I think that at a certain point, difficult child does have to take more responsibility for his work product. My difficult child knew we had been meeting about her and she knew that she had an IEP and why; she knew she was entitled to certain accommodations and she used her ADD as way of always saying, "I forgot my HW" or "I forgot that was due today" or "I forgot today was the test" and expecting to get away with it. I can see that more clearly now. I wish I had pushed difficult child more and held her more accountable for her work. I'm sure a teacher would have thanked me. Don't get me wrong. When it came to her disabilities I backed her up 100%. And also, both the teachers and I always tried to take into account her waxing and waning abilities. She was not always consistent in her ability to do the work or remain on task. But there were periods of time when she was right on! But her owning up to the fact that she was in school and these were her responsibilities, regardless of her capabilities on any particular week, that is where I think I should have been more firm with her and I actually see a link between my letting stuff like that slide, backing up difficult child when I shouldn't have, and her behavior now. I should have let her suffer the consequences more instead of always jumping in to advocate for her and defend her lack of attention to her work on her disabilities. Just my 2 cents. I agree that you should have a meeting with his teachers to go over everything. Best of luck. [/QUOTE]
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