I'm sorry, this is such a heartbreak. I honestly don't think the police or cps are able to do anything based on this - as horrific as it is! K is the one! She has to get herself in gear and get those kids OUT. This maybe...one day... soon... isn't working, what would happen I wonder if she, k herself calls cps and begs them to get her and the kids out. It sounds as though she's resigned to the fact that this is how he behaves and she is powerless, but totally sorry you had to see it. What would we do if our husband's did that? Not apologize to others, we'd get out. It's all on her. You are such a good mom, I'm sorry. It's hard to reason with someone who's not receptive. ((((HUGS)))
OK People.......I've Got A Serious Problem!!
- Thread starter Hound dog
- Start date
hearts and roses
Mind Reader
I am soo soo sorry Lisa. You did everything you could for now. Hold tight. Sending hugs and keeping those wee ones in my prayers.
I'm so sorry, Lisa. I think I have some understanding of how you feel. My dealings with my difficult child 1 have made it so I have to keep those boundaries in place too and sometimes I feel terrible about it--I can't help her the way I would like to. Your situation is much worse but I can relate to it. You are doing a good job, I am just so sorry that you have to go through this pain and that doing the right things is such a painful thing.
You are in my thoughts,
Jane
You are in my thoughts,
Jane
SearchingForRainbows
Active Member
Lisa,
I'm so very sorry for you, for k, for your grandchildren... I think you're very wise in how you're handling this mess. I just pray k has the sense to leave this creep permanently!!!
I really can't think of anything to add to what the others said. I just want you to know I'm keeping you, k, and your grandchildren in my thoughts... Hugs... WFEN
I'm so very sorry for you, for k, for your grandchildren... I think you're very wise in how you're handling this mess. I just pray k has the sense to leave this creep permanently!!!
I really can't think of anything to add to what the others said. I just want you to know I'm keeping you, k, and your grandchildren in my thoughts... Hugs... WFEN
everywoman
Well-Known Member
My concern, Lisa, is that given the tight living conditions, she may not be able to call for help. She may not be able to say help. She was a young, stupid girl when they met. She is now a young woman with some serious health issues. She is in a really bad situation. If there was anyway I could help, even if it meant getting burned again, I think I would have to help out. But, I haven't lived your life---and although I know a lot about the back story, and although I know how much you hurt for years, so I don't/won't can't sit in judgment. But I hear the pain in your voice. I know that your heart is breaking again. You will do what you need to do.
ThreeShadows
Quid me anxia?
Boy, this is a mess! I understand the code of conduct issues and, in my family's case, no children were involved. difficult child 1 used my comp to access his acct., then forgot to log off. I found pics of his beloved, naked, with her fingers up her hooha, making herself and difficult child very happy. I don't think I can ever forget that.
I'm concerned that he will get custody of your grands if the mom passes. These children are so fortunate to have your love and concern. I pray she will find the strength to break out of this cycle. By the way, where is her dad?
I'm concerned that he will get custody of your grands if the mom passes. These children are so fortunate to have your love and concern. I pray she will find the strength to break out of this cycle. By the way, where is her dad?
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Her Dad lives with me. I'm stepMom. He was not happy when I told him what happened. But as usual, he leaves the ball in my court. I deal with all things concerning the kids. Period. Believe me, it was better for the kids for it to be done that way.
No. I'm afraid I will never forget what I saw. Most certainly wish I could though.
I've not heard anymore from K. I'm taking that she hasn't deleted me from her friends list on MySpace as a good sign.
I'm still unsure of which way to jump or whether to jump at all. So I'm sitting on my hands.
I'm having major PTSD right now.
No. I'm afraid I will never forget what I saw. Most certainly wish I could though.
I've not heard anymore from K. I'm taking that she hasn't deleted me from her friends list on MySpace as a good sign.
I'm still unsure of which way to jump or whether to jump at all. So I'm sitting on my hands.
I'm having major PTSD right now.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Lisa...I dont know exactly what you can do right now. It is against the site rules at Myspace, you are right. They can and should take down those pics. If they have to do it many times they will ban his site.
I dont know what, if anything, they can do about adult naked pics of himself if he is sending them to adult people. There lies the rub. Does he know for sure these are adults he is sending them too.
I dont know what, if anything, they can do about adult naked pics of himself if he is sending them to adult people. There lies the rub. Does he know for sure these are adults he is sending them too.
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
K tells me there are women he sends them to. And I know there is a woman who commented (grossly) to the picture.
And I'm a bit livid to discover tonight that the damn picture is still posted. So I reported the sob again. He probably took it down and put it up again.
And I'm a bit livid to discover tonight that the damn picture is still posted. So I reported the sob again. He probably took it down and put it up again.
He's doesn't even care that you see them, that's sad how far away from normal this man is. And he's not a young kid. I'm so sorry!!!! If K's telling you he's sending them to women, I feel bad for her, she must be so unhappy there. I guess she hasn't hit her rock bottom of what she will tolerate, but I hope that day comes soon, and nothing happens to the kids. (((HUGS))))
Abbey
Spork Queen
If CPS investigates and warrants sufficient concern, they will and have to by law contact the police. The last thing another CPS unit wants is a case not handled properly and then something bad happens.
You may not be able to get any info from them either. I know the few I contacted over the years of being a teacher could not give me any follow-up after the fact. Privacy laws.
Abbey
You may not be able to get any info from them either. I know the few I contacted over the years of being a teacher could not give me any follow-up after the fact. Privacy laws.
Abbey
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I was going to suggest printing rather than saving too. Printing would be better I would think...means no editing and it will show the url on the printed page.
You can ask for a report of what happens to a report from CPS...they wont tell you exactly what happens but they say such things as investigated and report was found unsubstantiated or report was investigated or report is under investigation or some such thing.
I reported a neighbor for neglect of a disabled adult through no real fault of her own but the disabled adult was in real bad shape and the woman he lived with was disabled herself and not able to take care of him properly. He was getting sicker, not getting proper medical treatment, and not getting his medication correctly. Stupid APS sent me back a report saying they went out and decided he was not in any danger. Uhhhh...the man was taken to the hospital and DIED! Not in danger?
You can ask for a report of what happens to a report from CPS...they wont tell you exactly what happens but they say such things as investigated and report was found unsubstantiated or report was investigated or report is under investigation or some such thing.
I reported a neighbor for neglect of a disabled adult through no real fault of her own but the disabled adult was in real bad shape and the woman he lived with was disabled herself and not able to take care of him properly. He was getting sicker, not getting proper medical treatment, and not getting his medication correctly. Stupid APS sent me back a report saying they went out and decided he was not in any danger. Uhhhh...the man was taken to the hospital and DIED! Not in danger?
I think printing these things out might be very useful. Keep track of the report number CPS should give you (at least here they do). You can then check in by giving them this number and they should give you info on the disposition of the case.
I am sorry you have to deal with this AND that the kids have to handle it.
I am sorry you have to deal with this AND that the kids have to handle it.
Abbey
Spork Queen
As always...document, document, document. Even the most insignificant conversation can be meaningful down the road. ALWAYS take the person's name that you're speaking with. Repeat back to them what they said just to make sure. "So, you're saying...blah, blah, blah?" Ok. Just wanted to make sure. And your name is Julie Doe, right?
People don't like to have their names associated with questionable things.
Abbey
People don't like to have their names associated with questionable things.
Abbey
mom_to_3
Active Member
I would probably call the police myself and ask for them to go by and do a welfare check on the children. I would also go ahead and tell them about the pictures and your concerns. When innocent children are involved, I think you should go all out to protect them. I know you're an involved Grandma and will do the right thing!
