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Ok, so how do you handle this? Fantasy-to-fact in one quick second
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<blockquote data-quote="agee" data-source="post: 345235"><p>I have read The Explosive Child. I will re-read it. But I just have a problem with this. If we are at all wishy-washy with him about anything he will beleaguer the point until we all want to be anywhere but where he is. The only thing that has worked with him is to give a decisive answer. If we don't say : 3 hours screen time on Sunday and then set the timer and let him know his time limits as it counts down it will be TV TV TV TV all day long. Badger badger badger badger badger.</p><p>And I don't happen to think TV all day long is a good idea. I would be happy if there were no TV or video games in my home, but husband feels differently. So we limit.</p><p>He is most successful with a great deal of structure. He doesn't have much executive function going on. We are constantly explaining his choices and making sure he knows that he is making the choice, not us. But the choices have to be clear: TV NOW or TV later. If you choose TV now you won't get it later. Understand?</p><p>Yes, understood.</p><p>But when the TV goes off it apparently isn't understood. Or at least purposefully misunderstood.</p><p>The same thing goes for treats or time with friends or fun activities with us. We have to say YES or NO. Maybe is always interpreted as Yes. Yes, if you do XYZ is always interpreted as Yes no matter if XYZ is done or not. And NO is also sometimes interpreted as Yes - see my original post.</p><p></p><p>I like the idea of writing it down. A contract. Then there is no doubt it's not understood. Or at least we have written proof that it was heard. I will definitely try this.</p><p>A</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="agee, post: 345235"] I have read The Explosive Child. I will re-read it. But I just have a problem with this. If we are at all wishy-washy with him about anything he will beleaguer the point until we all want to be anywhere but where he is. The only thing that has worked with him is to give a decisive answer. If we don't say : 3 hours screen time on Sunday and then set the timer and let him know his time limits as it counts down it will be TV TV TV TV all day long. Badger badger badger badger badger. And I don't happen to think TV all day long is a good idea. I would be happy if there were no TV or video games in my home, but husband feels differently. So we limit. He is most successful with a great deal of structure. He doesn't have much executive function going on. We are constantly explaining his choices and making sure he knows that he is making the choice, not us. But the choices have to be clear: TV NOW or TV later. If you choose TV now you won't get it later. Understand? Yes, understood. But when the TV goes off it apparently isn't understood. Or at least purposefully misunderstood. The same thing goes for treats or time with friends or fun activities with us. We have to say YES or NO. Maybe is always interpreted as Yes. Yes, if you do XYZ is always interpreted as Yes no matter if XYZ is done or not. And NO is also sometimes interpreted as Yes - see my original post. I like the idea of writing it down. A contract. Then there is no doubt it's not understood. Or at least we have written proof that it was heard. I will definitely try this. A [/QUOTE]
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Ok, so how do you handle this? Fantasy-to-fact in one quick second
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