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Ok, so how do you handle this? Fantasy-to-fact in one quick second
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<blockquote data-quote="totoro" data-source="post: 345327" data-attributes="member: 3155"><p>Our kids get into what is called "stuck thinking" it sometimes doesn't matter in the beginning of helping them what you say, they are "stuck". </p><p></p><p>You have to change the way you think, like the others have suggested you have to try other things, new things. Keep trying, if one does not work.</p><p></p><p>My daughter K gets stuck a lot. If I "kind of" say it it is "true" it is "fact". Just last night she told me how excited she was to take an AR test before school. (for many reasons)</p><p></p><p>This morning for what ever reason this conversation is gone. I had to sit with her and look her in the eye and word for word explain to her our conversation from last night. She finally remembered. And this is over something that is no big deal! She was stuck in her head with something only she knew about. </p><p></p><p>I have had to adapt, I have had to adjust, I have had to be very flexible and I still have in NO way close to anything that is perfect. But the first rule is that anything you do you have to stick to it for at LEAST 2 weeks, even longer for most kids. </p><p>You HAVE to stick to it.</p><p>Even if difficult child is driving you crazy. Even now husband and I will have nights or days when we just don't want to deal and we want to give in. THis is when we take over for each other. </p><p>THere are times when we do give in... sometimes K will still follow the rules because they are working. But other times she is too unstable and I just have to remember this.</p><p></p><p>THe key thing that others have mentioned is to try to not get angry. </p><p>Contracts are good, huge laminated wall charts are good. Especially having 2. One that is set up with the rules. The other with the rules for the here and now, for the day or right now. </p><p>Timers are great!</p><p></p><p>Try to remember your difficult child does not want to be this way. For every discipline they need 10x more positive comments.</p><p>Hang in there this is such a hard road. I had to remind myself of all of these things this mornings! </p><p>A manic 8 year old is SO much fun.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="totoro, post: 345327, member: 3155"] Our kids get into what is called "stuck thinking" it sometimes doesn't matter in the beginning of helping them what you say, they are "stuck". You have to change the way you think, like the others have suggested you have to try other things, new things. Keep trying, if one does not work. My daughter K gets stuck a lot. If I "kind of" say it it is "true" it is "fact". Just last night she told me how excited she was to take an AR test before school. (for many reasons) This morning for what ever reason this conversation is gone. I had to sit with her and look her in the eye and word for word explain to her our conversation from last night. She finally remembered. And this is over something that is no big deal! She was stuck in her head with something only she knew about. I have had to adapt, I have had to adjust, I have had to be very flexible and I still have in NO way close to anything that is perfect. But the first rule is that anything you do you have to stick to it for at LEAST 2 weeks, even longer for most kids. You HAVE to stick to it. Even if difficult child is driving you crazy. Even now husband and I will have nights or days when we just don't want to deal and we want to give in. THis is when we take over for each other. THere are times when we do give in... sometimes K will still follow the rules because they are working. But other times she is too unstable and I just have to remember this. THe key thing that others have mentioned is to try to not get angry. Contracts are good, huge laminated wall charts are good. Especially having 2. One that is set up with the rules. The other with the rules for the here and now, for the day or right now. Timers are great! Try to remember your difficult child does not want to be this way. For every discipline they need 10x more positive comments. Hang in there this is such a hard road. I had to remind myself of all of these things this mornings! A manic 8 year old is SO much fun. [/QUOTE]
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Ok, so how do you handle this? Fantasy-to-fact in one quick second
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