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General Parenting
Ok, so...thoughts - difficult child's, dogs, and husband's.
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 153282" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>My husband was steadfast and firm from before we had pets- his answer? NO. He did NOT want any. He knew himself, he knew he was not going to pitch in with pets, even if his kids couldn't/wouldn't. I also knew my husband enough to know I would never be able to depend on him pitching in at all, no matter what, even in an emergency- he was NOT going to feed, water or let any pet out, period. Never. </p><p>Soooooooooo.LOL...NOW when husband decides to accept the pleasure of haveing a pet, LOL- I yell at him and say HEY! WAIT a minute here buster! Those doggie tail wags, those kitty purrs? They are NOT YOURS! You EARN those- by helping when help is needed to provide for that furballs needs. Such as setting down water when I am at Ronald McDonald House with OUR son! </p><p></p><p>Pets can often give unconditional love....they can teach responsiblity to some kids-----but not all kids learn or accept the lessons there for the learning, and not all pets are going to be easy-and all pets DO have needs, and someone is going to have to tend to the pets needs- even if it is NOT the person who origianlly wanted the pet in the first place. I am lucky, someone is home here and someone is awake here 24-7-365. Oldest difficult child and husband are insomniacs and or on a backwards schedule----me and husband do not work- son and oldest are homeschoooled. Oldest and husband have agoraphobia. Our house is tiny, dog can be let out very easily, our yard is fenced very well. Not even any stairs to use to let him out, we live in a ranch style house. All of those things helped make it very easy even for me even when I am flareing badly- to have pets. Probably our most intense pet care chore is changeing litterboxes. And that was eased becuz I use yesterdays news litter, now, and it makes no dust and is lighter than traditional litter. </p><p>If I still worked? Doubtful we would have a dog at all. if me AND husband still worked? prolly would not have cats, either, cuz there would be so much time when noone wwas here at home. LOL and our last vacation? LOL (our ONLY vacation) several years ago? We took dog WITH us. LOL. which meant taking turns eating, while someone took a turn being outside with dog. </p><p></p><p>Have to also keep in mind- pets can be like kids- and can have health issues, etc. And SOMEONE is gonna hafta step up and meet those needs, if they arise, too. (my dog had a defective lacrimal gland and turned out to need eyedrops, LOL- like my son- dog is now blind in that eye.....and one of our kitties had prolapsed rectum, and had to have special care for awhile, and when we had kitties declawed on front paws- one of the kitties suffered a permanant tendon injury in one of her frornt paws, thankfully she has accomodated herself very nicely, but......) Some pets get diabetes, asthma, arthritis.....all kinds of things. </p><p>It is nice for a therapist to suggest a pet, BUT unless said therapist is going to come provide care if child doesn't......this decision is up to the parent(s) as too often thats where the care ultimately lands. It is not fair to a dependant critter to get caught in the war over who is going to take care of it. And in my house? care of anything/everythig falls to me- so it is me who makes the final decisions. And sometimes I do get a pleasant surprise. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p>and hey, I would no more give up any of my critters than I would give up any of my kids or husband. LOL. Ummmmm...possible easier for me to consider giving up some of my human dependants? LOL, just kidding!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 153282, member: 1697"] My husband was steadfast and firm from before we had pets- his answer? NO. He did NOT want any. He knew himself, he knew he was not going to pitch in with pets, even if his kids couldn't/wouldn't. I also knew my husband enough to know I would never be able to depend on him pitching in at all, no matter what, even in an emergency- he was NOT going to feed, water or let any pet out, period. Never. Soooooooooo.LOL...NOW when husband decides to accept the pleasure of haveing a pet, LOL- I yell at him and say HEY! WAIT a minute here buster! Those doggie tail wags, those kitty purrs? They are NOT YOURS! You EARN those- by helping when help is needed to provide for that furballs needs. Such as setting down water when I am at Ronald McDonald House with OUR son! Pets can often give unconditional love....they can teach responsiblity to some kids-----but not all kids learn or accept the lessons there for the learning, and not all pets are going to be easy-and all pets DO have needs, and someone is going to have to tend to the pets needs- even if it is NOT the person who origianlly wanted the pet in the first place. I am lucky, someone is home here and someone is awake here 24-7-365. Oldest difficult child and husband are insomniacs and or on a backwards schedule----me and husband do not work- son and oldest are homeschoooled. Oldest and husband have agoraphobia. Our house is tiny, dog can be let out very easily, our yard is fenced very well. Not even any stairs to use to let him out, we live in a ranch style house. All of those things helped make it very easy even for me even when I am flareing badly- to have pets. Probably our most intense pet care chore is changeing litterboxes. And that was eased becuz I use yesterdays news litter, now, and it makes no dust and is lighter than traditional litter. If I still worked? Doubtful we would have a dog at all. if me AND husband still worked? prolly would not have cats, either, cuz there would be so much time when noone wwas here at home. LOL and our last vacation? LOL (our ONLY vacation) several years ago? We took dog WITH us. LOL. which meant taking turns eating, while someone took a turn being outside with dog. Have to also keep in mind- pets can be like kids- and can have health issues, etc. And SOMEONE is gonna hafta step up and meet those needs, if they arise, too. (my dog had a defective lacrimal gland and turned out to need eyedrops, LOL- like my son- dog is now blind in that eye.....and one of our kitties had prolapsed rectum, and had to have special care for awhile, and when we had kitties declawed on front paws- one of the kitties suffered a permanant tendon injury in one of her frornt paws, thankfully she has accomodated herself very nicely, but......) Some pets get diabetes, asthma, arthritis.....all kinds of things. It is nice for a therapist to suggest a pet, BUT unless said therapist is going to come provide care if child doesn't......this decision is up to the parent(s) as too often thats where the care ultimately lands. It is not fair to a dependant critter to get caught in the war over who is going to take care of it. And in my house? care of anything/everythig falls to me- so it is me who makes the final decisions. And sometimes I do get a pleasant surprise. :-) and hey, I would no more give up any of my critters than I would give up any of my kids or husband. LOL. Ummmmm...possible easier for me to consider giving up some of my human dependants? LOL, just kidding! [/QUOTE]
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Ok, so...thoughts - difficult child's, dogs, and husband's.
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