Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TheOnlyMe, Feb 14, 2009.

  1. TheOnlyMe

    TheOnlyMe Relentless Warrior Mom

    One of my clients, who has a three year old, who is being evaluated (parent has 5 kids -----> 3 in SpEd 2 being evaluation).

    Yesterday, she dressed her a in a very nice dress for Valentine's Day Party. (by the way - WE are having massive trouble with this school three of her five kids go to this school! In fact a "School Attorney has been invited to attend and ARD this week for her 6 yr old - to many details to go into)

    Anyway The school district

    1. Did not notify her to come and pick the child up and change her clothes.

    2. The teacher undressed her ( by word of the 3yr old) and put her in
    some (no offense intended but they looked like hobo clothes).

    3. The mom was at work couldn't attend the party, the Gma went but she
    speaks broken English.

    4. The Child was devastated I heard her crying on the phone, while the
    mom asked who undressed her and I had MOM take pics in the clothes
    they put on her.

    5. NO NOTE was sent home as to explain the situation.

    6. The mom phoned the nurse and she stated she had not seen the 3yr
    old ALL day, so she had no knowledge of the situation.

    The mother is BLOWING FIRE OUT HER EARS still at 12;30 last night! My biggest issue is the undressing of a three year old without parental consent or notification! OH YEA,by the way, she did make it to the 1st grader's party where their were little girls just as dressed up as hers was!

  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I suggest speaking to the attorney. did the little girl spill something on her dress or have an accident that meant she needed to change her clothes?

    Is there a school rule against 3yo's wearing dresses? Or was the child being a 3yo and showing off her underpants while climbing on something or sitting down?

    I think a note should have been sent home explaining WHY the child's clothes were changed and why she wasn't dressed in the extra set of clothes most 3yo's have in their cubbies (at least here the 3 and 4 yo's ALL have to have an extra set of clothes because they get messy, spill, and have accidents).

    If the "hobo" clothes were the only ones available, and the dress got messed up, well, I can see it. But a simple note sent home would save everyone a lot of grief.

    Time to go and talk to the teacher and principal. Or have the attorney do it. Gma should NOT be put into the position of having to handle this stuff. Not with-broken English.
  3. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I agree that all 3 year olds should have a spare change of clothes in their cubbies or backpack.

    in my opinion, the mom should have phoned the teacher after school and found out why her daughter was changed. There's no sense in blowing one's stack because there may have been a good explanation.

    And before getting worked up about lack of parent consent, be sure and check the school handbook, because it might already be covered. I've spent a lot of time with 3 year olds and it would be pretty impractical for teachers to call parents in to change a child's shirt every time they spill. Also, make sure that if the school has requested a change of clothes, that the parent has done so.

    If there's a legitimate breaking of school policy, or if the teacher's story doesn't fit, then of course you look at further steps, but at least give the teacher a chance to explain.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Years ago when Nichole was in pre-school I used to sub for them.

    First thing you need to check school policy, then talk to teachers and principal to get the full story.

    Nichole's preschool / and even Aubrey's daycare, require a spare change of clothing in case of accidents. And it is unreasonable for a parent to expect to be called simply because a child's clothing is being changed. Type of clothing she was changed into would depend on spare clothing they had available to them.....I doubt a school has much.

    Even when I ran my own daycare, 1 or 2 change out outfits was always required.

    So I'd get the facts, find out the circumstances, and then decide which way you need to go. I can understand a Mom's frustration with a bad school district.....oh, yeah,.......but you have to make sure they were actually in the wrong.

  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I agree - do some polite digging, find out if there was a reasonable explanation. Maybe the little girl spilled something or the teacher was afraid she would spill something, but I would have expected them to use the spare clothes. Either her own spares, or the school's spares. There were times when my kids came home with the school's spare clothes on because their own were either missing (I hadn't refilled their bag) or they had been particularly grotty that day.

    There was also a time when I sent easy child along dressed in a very pretty outfit, to get her home that afternoon with green fabric paint on her new clothes. I found out a few weeks later, it was part of a Christmas present tey were making from eachchild, a fabric placemat with eachchild's hand print and foot print on it. easy child was 7 months old, I hadn't expected her to be doing fabric painrting! I wish they HAD changed her first!

    If, after making enquiries,s it turns out that some teacher made their own dieciion that the child shouldn't be wearing a fancy dress at school ("mustn't show up the other kids") and she was NOT put back in her party dress for the party, then yes, I would get angry. But you have to be sure of your facts, or you get egg on your face and if they DID do something wrong, it all gets swept under the carpet in your embarrassment.

  6. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    A slightly different perspective...if the school suspected any physical abuse, they would need very little "spills" to want to change her clothes. sorry for being jaded, but I did foster care too long.